Of Cuts And Pills
by Cassie's Neighbor
Summary: Where do green-eyed male drug addicts and blonde girls who cut themselves meet and fall in love? That's right. In a mental hospital.
1. Castaway

**A/N: Thanks to all those who reviewed _Elysium Is Never Heaven Without You._ It was a challenge to write Percabeth themed stories with a colorful box of sadness and hurt, so yeah, I say thanks. You guys really are the best!**

**Anyways, this is kind of a prologue of the story. I decided to make a different kind of story; dealing with _seriously_ troubled kids and the real problems of society and all that. I think that Percy and Annabeth won't meet until chapter 3, so stay tuned for that, Percabeth fans. **

**Warning: Might be OOC.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 1: Castaway

Agitated, Sally Jackson paced back and forth at the room. Paul hadn't come back yet. She knew that her fiancée was currently having one of those diplomatic discussions with her son's future psychiatrist.

To see that it would come to this! Ms. Jackson – soon to be Mrs. Blofis – did not expect this to happen, or at least a little bit sooner to smite them. She always knew that his son was different, strange in many ways, and as far as she could, she tried to protect him from the dangers of the real world.

His son is troubled…

Surely, she wasn't ashamed of him, especially now that her child needed her. Now that he made one of the biggest mistakes in his life…

They were going to fix this.

"Percy," the mother turned to her son who was drumming his fingers out of impatience, staring at the white linoleum with a calm yet uncomfortable expression. He did not respond to the sound of his name.

Sally knelt beside him and cupped his face.

"Everything is going to be alright, dear. Don't you worry. Paul made sure that you will receive the best treatment that is offered here."

"But I don't want to be treated," his voice grew forlorn and flinched away from her hand. "I don't want to be back to what I was before. I like the new me. How can you not accept that?"

"Because this Percy, this boy… this is not who you are," Sally spoke calmly, her eyes holding back a fountain of tears. "What happened to that brave, strong boy that used to be my son?"

Percy's retort rippled with anger. "That boy is dead. That's not me anymore. You don't know me any more than you know Dad. You're taking away my whole life, Mom. You and Paul are just ashamed of harboring a delinquent."

"No! That's not true, Percy. We are trying to protect you. We are trying to save your future –"

"So spare me from the saving!" Percy stood up angrily. "Whatever it is that you're trying to do, stop it, will you? I don't need any of you! I don't want to live a life that _you_ want me to live! I don't want any of you to try and tell me what to do! This is my life, Mom! And I don't want you, or Dad, or Paul, or any nutcase psychiatrist in it!"

"Please, Percy – "

"Leave me alone, mom," he gritted his teeth, retracting his arm from his hold. "You and Paul should better go. You've got a book-writing exercise seminar at 10."

"Sweetie –"

"Bye, Mom." His voice a dead monotone. "I'll see you whenever."

He stormed out and headed through the hallway, a dark aura engulfing him.

Sally Jackson watched as her only son walked away from her, carrying the burden of the world with him.

What kind of mother was she?

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**A/N: Sorry that that was short. I will try to update every week, so thanks to all those who would be kind enough to review and put this on your story alerts. Remember to feed the author!**

**[Edited: 07/21/11]**


	2. Another Prisoner

**A/N: ****Enjoy!**

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**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 2: Another Prisoner

The young woman in a white pea coat – as Annabeth would later on find out as Jamie – escorted her to the receiving room.

Annabeth winced. Surely, this institution wouldn't be the best place for a seventeen year old girl like her. But since she was, as her stepmother said, like _them_, her father thought it would be best if she would be cared for here, about a good thousand and sixty-two miles away from her home. Or what she used to consider her home.

After a little meeting with the hospital's supervisor, she and Jamie strolled for a little while and gave her a tour. Annabeth's heart wasn't practically in the tour.

~0~

_"I'm not going to deal with this crap, dad!" Annabeth shrieked. "I hate it here."_

_ "Keep quiet, Annabeth," his father hushed her like he always did when her daughter got all berserk on him. "We'll talk about this later."_

_ "Oh, spare me from the formality, dad," she huffed. "I'm not supposed to be here. I don't belong. I don't need 'medical' and 'professional' attention."_

_ "That's what they all say," a man in a suit, probably in his thirties cut in. "The minors always complain about how they don't need help, how they could do stuff on their own. But in reality, they can't even squirm their way out of trouble."_

_ Annabeth glared at the man, thinking _This is family business, you creep! Stay out of this!

_ The man just shrugged and walked away. _

_Apparently, her father was convinced and made up his mind. And Annabeth cursed the man under her breath. She knew how stubborn her father can be once he made up his mind._

_ "This is for the best, dear," his father told her. There was sympathy in his eyes, but her daughter dismissed it. _

_ "You always say that, as if everything would turn out right for me. Well, look at me! Do I look okay to you?"_

_ "I'm your father, Annabeth. I'm doing the best that I can."_

_ Annabeth laughed darkly. "Oh right. You thought it would be best for me if you'd send me away to those snobby private schools. You thought it would be best for me to be cut off from the outside world. You thought it was best for me if you married Susan."_

_ Frederick Chase's face darkened. "Now, Annabeth. Don't bring Susan in to this."_

_ "Protecting her again, I see? It's all about your new, prissy wife. And it's all nothing for me."_

_ "You have to get over the fact that your mother's not here anymore. And that this people can help you. Make you see sense."_

_ "What? You think that it would be _that_ easy to forget Mom?" Annabeth said incredulously. _

_"I did not mean that, dear. I just meant – I just meant that it would be best if you would move on. I love your Mom, you know that very well. But things are now over. We have to stop you from torturing yourself. You have to stop from hating Susan and our kids."_

_"Oh, I could gripe about you and Susan all I want," Annabeth snapped. "Now, if you think that I'm the biggest mistake you've ever done and that marrying Susan would be the best do-over you can do, then I think dumping me here is the smartest idea you'd ever had, Dad."_

_ Mr. Chase fell silent. "I know everything is my entire fault," his father muttered, wiping his glasses. "And I'm doing all I can to fix it. Please don't be rash, my dear. Do this for me."_

_ "I'm not doing anything for you," Annabeth snarled._

_ His father turned his intense, brown eyes at her. "Then please, do this for your Mom."_

_ Suddenly, Annabeth could feel her defenses crumbling down._

_ Mom…_

~0~

Annabeth tried to banish the thought. For once, she might as well forget about her mom. Forget about her and the cruelty of the world, now that she's stuck here.

She might as well try to fit in.

Annabeth cracked a dark smile and Jamie watched her expression turn, her inquiring eyes swayed eerily. That's why she was here, wasn't she? Because she did not fit in well with regular people. She was one of those kids who tried to do hazardous and out-of-the-wack stunts that got her branded as a troublemaker – a manically depressed, delirious girl. Most people misinterpreted her cutting. She did not look for attention. She did not want her arms to be a small wonderland for morbid eyes. She just wanted the pain to go away, and she found out those razor blades, knives and her slightly tanned arms as an outlet. It hurt at first, but slowly the pain subsided. She did it occasionally. But since the pain got worse, she found the need to do it regularly. And that was the time her dad decided to take in action.

She almost wheezed as they passed a brightly lit hallway adorned with antique paintings that hung over the white walls. The paintings didn't improve the asylum impression of the hospital, though.

"382, 383, 384… ah. Here we are. Room 385. Here is your room, Ms. Chase," Jamie swung the door, revealing a small old rose colored bedroom. A double-decker was laid out at the right side of the room, with two, small wooden cabinets located half a feet beside the bunk.

"Ms. Cleverlyn Spencer would be your roommate. She is out at the diner right now, along with the others. Would you like to meet her now?"

"No thanks. I guess I'd be meeting her soon enough," Annabeth said, peering at the window. She moved the shades and a small amount of afternoon sunlight came in. She half expected the windows to be clamped with steel bars to prevent crazies like her to jump and scram like hippies off to the amusement park. It wouldn't be the first time, she guessed.

So… No bars held. It was probably an act to make them feel that they trust them.

She glanced at her shoulder._ No_. She made herself bind an oath. She can do this alone. She would not let her guard down. She would have to control every move, every emotion to get out of this place.

She would not trust this Jamie, who is standing at the doorway, all smiles. She would not trust this Cleverlyn girl, her future roommate. She would not trust anyone. She would refuse to trust anyone she would meet here.

But Annabeth Chase still hasn't met _him_, though.

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**A/N: [Edited: 07/22/11]**


	3. First Time, First Tables

**A/N: Enjoy!**

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**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 3: First Time, First Tables

_Is everything in here frosted and dipped in white?_ Annabeth questioned in her thoughts as she was led into the diner, making her way through the hallways filled with white benches and sofas propped with white cushions and white-dressed people occasionally passing them.

She studied the place more closely. She would've designed the place better if she was an architect – her long time dream. She would not turn this hell-of-a-hospital into White House number two. Good thing her room slash prison cell wasn't bleached in white either. Forget about the plan. She'd rather jump off the window and join the circus people.

Insane patients, perky doctors, white havens… Annabeth already hated the place.

When she stepped into the diner, it wasn't something that she expected.

It looked just like any regular school cafeteria, filled with ordinary looking azure tables and minors like her.

_Crackpot minors,_ she added. _Like her._

"Well done, Annabeth!" Desiree Fiske exclaimed, smiling triumphantly as if Annabeth just won her first wrestling match. She told her that she'd be helping with the "healing and coping" process, which is the most bitter and hardest part in being one of the "poor, misguided youth of the society."

"May I show you to your table?"

"You guys designate tables for us?" Annabeth inquired. Talk about no freedom…

"There are policies," Desiree replied simply. "It would be able to help you acquire new friends."

_I can make friends on my own, thank you very much for your concern, _Annabeth wanted to say. _But I don't trust any of you to be my friend._

The woman led her to a circular table where three people sat and ate.

"Here we are," she chirped. "Ms. Annabeth Chase, meet your new acquaintances. From now on, you would be sitting here until your final day of reception." The way she said 'reception' sounded like a kid graduating from school with honors.

"You mean, I can't switch tables?" she whispered, trying not to offend the three.

"There are policies."

From that point, Annabeth wanted to judo this Desiree to death.

"Well… There you go. I might as well leave you now with pleasantries. I will see you soon, Ms. Chase." And with that, she skirted out the dining hall, leaving her with three mysterious kids.

"Ignore her," a cute boy with sandy-colored hair and blue eyes started. She figured that he was a college kid. For a split second, Annabeth wondered how the he got that thin, scary scar that stretched across the corner of his mouth. _Dangerous. _

The boy continued. "She's always like that to first rounders. I'm Luke. Luke Castellan." He offered his hand as he dropped his spoon. She took it gingerly.

"So what are you in for, Annabeth?" Luke asked. In instinct, Annabeth hung her head low. No one asked her this straight forward before. Not even the shrinks.

Luke laughed. "Oh, don't you worry. I know everyone's been locked here for a reason, and some cases are worse than the others."

"Like him for instance," a girl about nineteen with black hair, pale, freckled face and electric blue eyes cut in. She wore a black leather jacket, gray tee, tattered cargo pants and black outfitter shoes. Probably a goth girl. "Stole a processor from a random Dell computer store. Stole an Aston Martin Vantage. Stole an old lady's purse. Stole some rich dog's collar. You name it. Luke's a kleptomaniac."

"I didn't steal it," he rolled his eyes. "You're starting to show off my bad side again, Thalia."

The girl laughed and offered her hand across the table. "I'm Thalia. Unlike Luke here, you can trust me with things." She winked, and for the first time in months, Annabeth cracked a smile.

"What are you in for, Thalia?"

Before Thalia can answer, Luke's words flowed in a flash. "Well you see, Thalia over here has err… anger issues."

"I do not!" Thalia shrieked and wacked his head with a food tray. "Everyone keeps on saying that."

"See what I mean."

Ignoring Thalia trying to plunge a metal tray in Luke's brain, Annabeth peered over to her right. Even in that entire fracas, the boy with jet-black hair did not say a thing. He twirled his fork with his fingers and he stared at his food as if it wasn't worth eating at all. He tapped the tiled floor with his foot endlessly. The beat reminded Annabeth of some old song from a famous rock band.

Luke and Thalia followed Annabeth's eyes and they suddenly became uncomfortable.

"Um, Percy?"

It took a moment for the boy to look up. When he did, Annabeth first noticed his eyes – his deep, sea green eyes – were filled with utter sadness… and annoyance. Irate, he raised an eyebrow at them. Luke cocked his head at Annabeth's direction.

His green eyes met with her gray ones and he gaped at her as if she just dropped from space. His eyes were incoherent.

"Hello," he finally said, his voice straight and dull. "Nice to meet you."

Annabeth gave him a stiff nod, knowing his greeting wasn't all that cordial but snobby. She didn't know what this Percy guy's problem is, but he'd better stop acting like a doof or she'd smack him 'till his brain cells would work.

Percy gave him a small smile, which seemed like it took a lot of his effort, and stared blankly at the window.

Luke cleared his throat. "Erm... Annabeth, this is Percy Jackson. You have to excuse him. He's new here. Just a week old. He's been… going through a lot."

"Hangover," Thalia muttered. "Withdrawal process works like that."

Percy glared darkly at her, trying to stop himself from hurling insulting words at her. He turned back his attention to the window.

Annabeth nodded, understanding. So Percy Jackson had been taking drugs. Figures. He had the same look that Annabeth recognized from all the other students back at Frisco who got sent back to juvie. He reminded her of her best friend who has had been experimenting on cocaine. She never understood the concept of drugs but she couldn't deny that she wasn't tempted to follow her friend's footsteps. To loneliness they both can relate. Annabeth couldn't help feeling sorry for him.

Then a buzzing thought came to her.

_Don't trust anyone._

That thought smote her hard.

She couldn't trust anyone. If she really wanted to leave this place, she'd better be careful. She could not befriend Luke, Thalia… and Percy. She couldn't befriend anyone. She needed to follow the plan.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Don't worry, Annabeth," Luke assured her. "You can get along with everyone here just fine."

_That's what I'm worried about,_ Annabeth thought.

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**A/N: [Edited: 07/21/11]**


	4. Library Is Where The Heart Is

**A/N: Enjoy!**

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**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 4: The Library Is Where The Heart Is

There was at least one thing Annabeth liked in her prison. Kids were allowed to borrow books once in a while. Annabeth liked to read. Or at least it took away the sheer boredom and hatred she felt about the place.

She went to the fiction section and skimmed her fingertips on the spines of a series of hard bounds and paperbacks. 

_The Alchemist…_

_The Gift…_

_Prometheus' Revenge…_

_The Venetian Betrayal…_

Then a small amount of movement caught her eye.

A black-haired boy was leaning casually on a wall near the ten feet window. He was wearing a navy blue jacket and black jeans. His arms were crossed against his chest tightly.

Slowly, the boy tilted his head and his eyes widened. He looked away nervously.

Annabeth recognized those unusual pair of sea-colored eyes anywhere.

_Percy Jackson._

Without meaning to, Annabeth made her way towards him. It embarrassed her that she was actually going to start a conversation with a boy – a supposed drug addict – that she only knew about yesterday. But her best friend used to be drugged on a daily basis. Now that was a stretch.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly.

_Okay_, Annabeth thought. A typical question. She could answer that.

She held out her paperback copy of _To Kill A Mockngbird_. "Just scouting for books. What are you doing here?"

It took a moment for Percy to answer her. He smiled sheepishly. "Hiding."

Annabeth blinked. "Hinding?" she asked. "Hiding from what?"

Percy's smile turned into a grimace. "From Desiree. It's my turn to be… questioned, I guess. It isn't exactly what everyone can call a pleasant experience." He turned to her and smirked. "I'm not really a huge fan of reading, being dyslexic and all. So the library would be the last place the mad woman would come looking for me."

She shook her head, amused and leaned on the window at the opposite edge. Her back faced the white curtains.

"That's a smart idea," she remarked. "And a pretty stupid one, too. Ever heard of reverse psychology?"

He sighed, annoyed. "You're not the most helpful and encouraging person I've met, you know that?"

Annabeth chuckled.

Percy looked at her and smiled lightly. "Look who's laughing. Got any plans for me, Wise Girl?"

"What did you say?"

Percy tilted his head again at the window, hoping his red cheeks wouldn't be too much of an indicator. "N-nothing."

They fell silent. Outside, the silver moonlight glistened, slightly illuminating the lush trees, giving them a soft, radiant glow.

"There's no use hiding, though," she said as Percy's face tightened. "You can't keep Desiree waiting. She'll probably add a few weeks in your stay if you won't do what they ask you to do."

"Are you saying that you trust them?"

She shook her head.

"I'm not exactly the world's most obedient person."

"Mmm. I can see that."

"This… withdrawal," Percy said under his breath. "They said that I can get over it in a few months. The thing is… I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to." He fiddled with the curtains. "I know what you're thinking. My attachment is a little bit… disturbing."

"I guess you're all right," she said. "My friend used coke once. Her dad shipped her to Canada to uh, cure her."

They both scowled. Parents sending their children away…

"I hate to say it, but I guess you're right," he sighed indignantly again. "I loathe it when Desiree Snooper-pants always pry on private stuff."

"Is she always like that?"

Percy's eyes danced in the moonlight. "You just wait. You're under that woman's blacklist, right? You'd get to know her soon enough."

Annabeth tried to control her expression. She did not like to talk about private stuff. She also did not want Desiree to know about her family.

Or maybe Percy was just teasing her. The guy had a special ability in ticking her off.

"I'd better go now," Annabeth said. "Good luck."

Percy nodded gravely to her. "You too," he said just as curtly.

She could feel those sea green eyes of his follow her as she strolled off. No backward glances.

There was something more to Percy Jackson than what meets the eye.

And Percy Jackson thought the same way about her, too.

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**A/N: [Edited: 07/22/11]**


	5. She Knows The Whys

**A/N: This chapter is all about Percy's first therapy session with Desiree Fiske. It would also involve a little background check and sorry if you would barely recognize him. You guys just pray that by the end of the story, we would see the Percy Jackson we all know and love unravel under all that dark, brooding OOCness. Please review!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 5: She Knows The Whys

"Well, I must say. It is very nice for you to finally drop by Mr. Jackson," Desiree said after a moment as Percy righted himself in a small, purple couch that she had set for him.

Percy had second thoughts about coming in here. After hearing all the patients gripe about her, he was expecting Desiree being a soft and delicate angel for the first three minutes they would talk to each other and show her true colors as a man-eating harpy much later. Desiree knew which buttons to press to make a person practically scream all of the lovely little profanities he had got built up. But ever since he had that talk with Annabeth, who was in no doubt smarter than him (he'll never admit it, though)… well, why not?

Desiree put out her clipboard, going all professional on him. No sappy talk this time. "So, tell me Mr. Jackson… can I call you Percy?"

"No."

"So, tell me Percy," she continued. "Have you made a new friend? Would you like to tell me how do you find the people here in Riverdale?"

Nothing much happened that was out of the ordinary. Besides the fact that he found out several kids that shared the same problems while others have bizarre problems that he did not even know existed…

Clarisse, the angry, battle-hungry dudette from table five (crazy about violence. First-hand experience tells it all…); there's Silena, Azalea and Kristen who were from table nine, ten and twelve respectively, all of them anorexic; there's Thalia and a whole lot of kids who have anger issues; there's Luke from Percy's table and Travis and Connor Stoll - they're twins - from table eleven who were kleptomaniacs.

A bunch of ordinary-looking kids with extraordinary problems.

"Everyone's great," he said. He suddenly thought about Annabeth, who was the most normal person he'd met here. But it had only been a week and he and Annabeth weren't exactly the best of buds.

She nodded, tapping her pen. "How was it at home?"

"It's fine, I guess," he mused. "I don't hate it that much."

"Will you tell me what it is in your home that you hate?"

"No."

Desiree started taking down notes on her clipboard. Percy could almost imagine what the woman's impression on him was. _Rude. Unpleasant. Impeccable. Dangerous. If encountered, hit with a paddle._

She looked up from her clipboard and stared down at Percy before saying, "Can you tell me something about your mother?"

Percy could almost feel his own expression softening. "She's just like… any regular mom. Only much nicer. She's been rubbing too much on me since she found out about… you know."

She smiled. She could feel that it would be easy to snare this topic. "But that's what mothers are obliged to feel. Have you ever thought of that?"

"I uh - yes," he croaked. He remembered all the things that he'd said the last time he saw his mom and instantly regretted it. "She's the best mom I could've ever asked for and I'm not asking for anyone else."

Desiree instantly wrote something on her clipboard while her eyes prompted him to tell her more.

"It's not that she grew overboard by sending me here. It was actually Paul's idea. I was just confused… and angry that she'd agree to my sending here."

"Oh yes," she nodded. "Most kids do not quite understand how much mothers sacrifice to send their sons and daughters here." She paused for a while. "What was it that you like to do when you spend time with your mom?"

Percy's thoughts went blank for a minute. He… he did not know. Using drugs also meant spending less time with your parents - why drag your mother into this? – and he had gotten away with it for almost fourteen months now. Except all those trips to the principal's office and useless therapy sessions, it had been a long time since he had really spent time with his mom.

She scribbled something again with her fountain pen, and Percy resisted the urge to grab the clipboard and rip the paper on it in shreds.

He figured that he wasn't doing much of a better job than he planned he would. He was expecting more of a '_in to business'_ question like why is it that he took drugs or who it was that made him do drugs and the like. Only how's your home or how's your mom. Not the typical, straightforward questions. She probably apprehended that he wouldn't answer as bluntly if she would question him point blank.

"Do you agree to your mom marrying Paul?"

That question surprised him the most, so far. Hmm... What about Paul? "Paul's er… He's okay. Or at least he didn't beat up my mom like my previous stepdad did. I can feel he cares about Mom a lot. And he – he makes her feel good most of the time."

"You said it was his idea to send you here."

"Well, yeah," Percy furrowed his eyebrows. She did not need to say that.

"Does that make him a terrible person to you?"

Another silence. He knew Paul was really a nice guy, and by just being nice - as Percy had guessed - he thought that it would be best for all of them if he was sent here to be tend to.

But another side of Percy's head nagged him. _Paul didn't have the right. He's never the one to control his life? Why should he care?_

But the thing was, Paul did care about him, and he hung his head in remorse.

Putting your head down low isn't actually a good answer, but Desiree Fiske knew what to make out of it. She plopped her clipboard and scribbled something else before turning.

"How do you feel? When you drug yourself, I mean…"

_Wow, _Percy thought. _Good Question._

What is - or better yet _was_, since he hadn't been taking crystal meth and cocaine for a while now - the feeling?

"It's just… you forget about everything. It's just you. Nothing else matters. You don't have to worry about the burden anymore. Everything … everything just disappears."

_It's the most wonderful feeling in the world_, Percy wanted to add, but that might cause Desiree to dock him a point. A long way to go…

"And do you feel good about taking advantage of your health?"

"I told you. I don't really think about it especially when the coke and meth kicks in."

Five seconds. Ten seconds… He felt that the whole, damp room was closing in on him. That's the problem with claustrophobia and ADHD. It makes him feel sick all the time, except the time whenever he drugs himself.

Clausterphobic. ADHD. Dyslexic. Drug Addict.

"Hmm…" she mused, biting off a chap of lipstick from her mouth. _The shrinks always know where to put dramatic pauses, _Percy thought dryly.

"In the report the police sent to us," Desiree started. "You were to be convicted of stealing a car, which is your first and hopefully final case of theft. Why did you do that?"

Her eyes bored into his, and the small smile annoyed the hell out of him. Percy knew that look. He had been told that annoyance was one of her first steps. He did not know how effective it was until now.

"Why do you want to know? I want it. I took it because I needed it."

"That was your first case of theft, eh? Stealing is not your blasé, Percy. You know that very well."

Percy's eyes began to quirk. Stupid therapist. "Then why should you ask? You said it yourself. I don't steal."

"Then why would you steal a IS C11 Lexus from Mr. Felton, a neighbor of yours? Your mother woke up with an angry Thomas Felton banging at your apartment door. You have a Prius just a few spaces away, just as good as the Lexus. Now to anyone, that could just be as peculiar to me," her smile widened a bit, as if she found the situation funny.

Percy glowered at her, controlling his temper again.

"Hmm… Your previous therapists' notes from New York say that you have had problems in physical and emotional control… Hmm… A very pleasant urge to prove yourself. Now, would you like to tell me what you felt when you took the car?" she said silently.

Percy did not respond. This woman also did a background check on him, and it was surely paying off.

"Would you like to tell me who she is, Percy?"

Percy's expression rolled from surprise then to confusion.

Desiree sighed and smiled, almost victoriously. _Bull's eye._

"I think you know who I am talking about, Percy," she told him calmly. "What's her name? What is it about her that turned you into this?"

His eyes flashed angrily. "She's not the reason behind this."

"I don't see what else would make you. She's the best reason why."

"You don't know anything about my life!" His eyes blazed, his stance exuded the barely contained violence of an angry panther. But Desiree ignored it.

"Stand down, Mr. Jackson," she said steadily, doing her best professional voice. "We are talking about the possibilities. And your actions just proved what I have suspected."

Percy could feel his face going red; out of hatred, self-loathing, incredulity, and utter embarrassment. He didn't want to talk about her. He wanted to _forget _her. And talking easily slashes the latter.

He could feel himself walking away from the couch and heading towards the door.

His fingers were barely a few inches away from the doorknob when she said, "We would talk about this. Not today. But soon. _If _and only if you are willing to help yourself and your family. I am expecting a lot from you, Perseus Jackson. Let us not be hasty this time. Think about it."

He shut the door loudly, muttering a stream of profanities flowing from his head.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if it wasn't much as you guys have expected. If you have any questions, please review and tell me what you think. I'm open for suggestions and comments.**

**I know you're sick of seeing this all the time, but please review!**

**[To many of those who asked, I added Thomas Felton's name in this chapter in honor of the new Harry Potter movie: The Deathly Hallows part one.]**

**[Edited: 07/22/11]**


	6. It's A Dare

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 6: It's A Dare

Annabeth gritted her teeth as she headed to the dining hall, cursing at the top of her mental lungs. Her hands were itching to roll down her sleeves and hide all the bitterness she had felt for the last eight months.

~0~

_"I'll make you a deal, Annabeth," Desiree told her._

_She suddenly grew cautious. She knew that bargains and compromises with crafty psychiatrists wouldn't do her any good. But curiosity had, and always will, gotten the best of her. "I'm listening."_

_"We will still allow you to cut yourself whenever you feel like it," the shrink tapped her clipboard with her pen._

_Annabeth could feel her eyes widen. That's not the kind of deal she expected. _

_Desiree continued, seizing the silence. "Today we would give back the set of razors we have confiscated from your arrival. Dr. Moore would be assisting you today. You would expect him a little later. I would be busy running a few errands with a colleague of mine. "_

_"But wait. What's in it for you?"_

_"All I'm asking is for you to roll back your sleeves up to your elbow. You can wear shirts if you want – "_

_"What?" Annabeth yelled, outraged and surprised. If she would roll up her sleeves, it would mean…_

_"Yes. I ask you to roll up your sleeves for the time being. Your previous doctor said that you hate it when people see your scars."_

_"Then why are you asking me to do this? Aren't you supposed to make me feel better than make me feel worse? If this is what you call treatment then this is insane."_

_"Insanity is a broad word, Ms. Chase," Desiree said calmly. "It can destroy, but it can also cure itself when faced with a different form of it."_

_"Oh, don't you start with me, lady," Annabeth seethed. She won't back down without a fight. She balled her fists. "I won't do it."_

_"Ah. But you will. You have to. You and your parents agreed on that."_

_"Parent," Annabeth spat. "It's _parent._ Susan is just my stepmom."_

_Desiree quickly wrote something on her clipboard without taking her eyes off of Annabeth. "You have signed an agreement, Annabeth. It is for the best."_

_"I won't do it. I don't care how much you beg."_

_"Appearing to be strong is one thing. Pride is a whole other matter. There are some things that are solved on your own while there are things that you can't subject without needing help. What you are doing – "_

_"Is none of your business," she cut in. "If this is what you call helping then I'm having none of this."_

_"I told you that we won't take away the cutting. We would just want you to roll up your sleeves and show the marks you have made for everyone to see."_

_"This is blackmail!" Annabeth snarled._

_Desiree looked up from her clipboard and pointed at Annabeth's arms with her pen. "And that is suicide."_

~0~

She groaned in frustration again. It would no longer matter how long she would stay here. She'd never get her life back, even if she'd get all the help she needs to start over. She's done. Either way, there wouldn't be anything to start from.

She made small talk at the hallway with her schizophrenic roommate, Cleverlyn. Whether Cleverlyn actually saw her cuts, she did not comment. Annabeth thought she was pretty nice until she woke up in three in the morning and bashed her head with a pillow thinking she was an organ-eating monster who came to get her.

When she walked in the diner though, all heads turned. All eyes were on her. All eyes were on her glazed arms. All eyes were on her cuts.

She steamed as she stalked towards her table, ignoring the worried and petrified looks from Thalia, Percy and Luke.

Annabeth sighed internally as she could feel the tension choking up the rest of her seatmates.

"So… I figure it did not go well," Luke said, trying for a smile. Thalia kicked him in the shin.

Annabeth fought the scorn that would surface. She tried to attack her salad as a distraction from the stares that were boring from her back. "I guess you could say that."

Percy stared at her wrists for a while, and went back to her face.

"If you're going to say something, then say it okay?" Annabeth growled. "I'm not _that_ psycho."

"What happened, Annabeth?" Percy asked, earning another kick from Thalia.

Annabeth sighed. "I'd better not talk about it."

Thalia stuck her fork on her spare ribs. "What did that woman do to you?"

"She made a deal with me. She said I can still cut myself, granted that I roll up my sleeves and show it to everyone else."

"That is sick, Annabeth," Percy cried abruptly, giving Thalia a pointed look. He gave a small warning to her not to aim at his groin. "Not that I'm against you," he added hastily, "But that is sick. Can't you just stop cutting yourself and get over it? You can't let Desiree be the overlord of your life."

"I don't want to stop," Annabeth mumbled. "I'm not willing to give it up."

"But your arms – "

'"Yes! These are my arms, Percy!" Annabeth cried, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The whole room fell silent as they listened to the new arrivals' banter. "I can do anything I want with them. Mind your own business!"

Percy fell silent and Annabeth started sobbing bitterly, Luke patting her softly at her back. Thalia glared darkly at Percy, mouthing _Well done, genius._

"I – I'm sorry," he mumbled and reached out for her arm. He could feel the healed bruises and slices. "I didn't mean to… I just – I – Nobody wants to see you like that."

Annabeth sniffed tenderly and went back to eating her salad. Percy mentally kicked himself and went back to eating his before saying, "I'm sorry that it didn't go to well with Fiske. Mine didn't either. But I'm sure we'll be fine."

She choked back another sob. Percy cursed under his breath for butting in. Luke gave him a look of sympathy while Thalia rolled her eyes.

Agonizing minutes of silence passed by…

"I hate to interrupt you all from your lovely meal, but there's someone I would like you to meet," Desiree said, surprising them all. What surprised the four most is when a girl with frizzy-red hair and green eyes set on a pale, frecklish face. Her green eyes were unsettled and dazed.

"Ms. Dare? Ms. Dare? Rachel?" Desiree slightly shook the girl as if reviving here from a deep reverie.

The girl blinked her eyes thrice and finally settled on the apprehensive people before her. "Oh, right," she mumbled.

She was wearing tattered, watercolor-painted pants and shoes and a scarlet shirt with the words _I'm Not Weird, Just Awesome! _embossed on the front.

She shook hands with Thalia, Luke, Annabeth and then with Percy.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Luke, Annabeth, Thalia, Percy…" Desiree gestured to her. "This is Ms. Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She would be joining you from now on."

* * *

**A/N: [Edited: 07/21/11]**


	7. One Step Forward

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 7: One Step Forward

"Aha! So you admit it then?" Thalia half-shrieked, half-gnarled at Annabeth who was quite red in the face.

"I did not say anything," Annabeth glared, trying to keep the redness of her face at bay. They were talking about their personal lives to pass the time until she brought up an embarrassing topic. "I just simply asked if you had -"

Thalia snorted. "For someone who has thousands of medals hanging on her bedroom wall, you're pretty stupid. How in the heck of the world would you ask if you have not experienced it for yourself? And well, yes, your tone says it all."

"Oh come on!" Annabeth threw her arms, exasperated. "So what if I've never tasted beer? Is it an initiation for a teenager to get themselves knocked up, high and drunk?"

"It's much more of an initiation, honey. It's what marks us. 'The X-Generation.' 'The Youth of Today' – "

"With bimbos like you, no wonder we teenagers always get bad rep."

Thalia smacked her hard in the head. "I'm no bimbo, you twit. I myself have not much anything to do with boys. But compared to you…"

"Hey!" Annabeth said. "I've got experience."

"Oh yeah? Have you ever slept with a guy?"

"What in the – ? Of course, no!"

"Have you ever dated a guy?"

"Well, no."

"Have you even kissed a guy?"

"Cheeks or Lips?"

"Cheeks are fine. And no, Annabeth. Your dad and stepbrothers don't count."

"Fine," Annabeth grumbled. She wasn't used to being dumped in a debate, no matter how ridiculous the subject was.

She smirked. "See, Annabeth? Who's the master now?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You're not the boss of me, Thalia Grace."

Thalia stiffened, her eyes twitching murderously. "Watch the surname, Chase."

"Sorry," she muttered. Annabeth had been told that she was not to use Thalia's surname. Whatever the cause was, she knew that Thalia hated her mother with fervor. Annabeth was worried that if she'd bring the topic up, Thalia would have one of her tantrums. And that was not a sight to see.

"You're too much of a prude, Chase. Try reliving yourself from your comfort zone. I mean, look at you! You've never even dated anyone – "

"But I still know a thing or two about boys." Annabeth reddened at her words.

"Yeah, right."

"What do you mean?"

"Really, Annabeth. You so suck in lying."

"What are you talking about? Of course I know how boys act."

"You read about them."

"Well, practically, yes."

"From Cosmopolitan magazines. Not much of a first-hand experience, eh? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Annabeth, I am expecting much from you."

Annabeth rolled her eyes again, a habit of hers. "You sound very much like the girls from my school in Frisco."

"Oh, _those_ are the real bimbos," Thalia smirked. "Giddy little girly girls who like sucking out the lives and rubbish out of men. Flirting is so like old school."

Annabeth laughed. "I never thought there would be a day that you would actually say that."

Thalia chuckled. "That sounded stupid, didn't it? Oh well. Just don't let yourself get classified into those types of girls."

"Count on it."

"Ms. Thalia?" a woman asked behind a cream-colored door.

At the bench, Thalia sighed. She turned to Annabeth. "Here goes another round ofTwenty Questions from Fiske. I guess I'll see you later, Owl Head."

Annabeth playfully slapped Thalia's butt with a white cushion. "Don't rip her hair out please."

"Don't count on it!" Thalia shouted back as she shut the door behind her.

~0~

Annabeth stared at the white ceiling above her. Again, she sighed. She was beginning to hate white…

She thought about all those things Thalia said to her. Was she really that indifferent to boys? If she was, then how much?

Annabeth shook her head. She wasn't supposed to be entertaining concerns about that. She was Annabeth Chase for crying out loud. Not that she wanted anything to do with boys right now. Not that there would be anyone who would find her interesting…

How does she feel about anyone here? Happy? Irritated? Contented? Trusted? _No,_ Annabeth thought. Not trusted. She wouldn't – she _shouldn't _trust.

_Trust are for fools, _a familiar voice rang in her head. _It's not the perfect battle strategy, my sweet. Keep your guard. You'll need it._

Annabeth ascended. She couldn't trust, but what about her friends? Believe it or not, she actually made friends. She was beginning to like Thalia and Luke. Especially Luke…

And Percy?

Well, their 'friendship' consisted of constant bickering and debates ranging from political tribulations to which underwear was better (boxers or briefs?). They found out just a little later that the fighting turned natural and habitual and none of their hospital-mates ever questioned about it. Others thought it was endearing. Some thought they were a couple in the making.

Thalia Grace can be annoying, but Percy Jackson seemed to annoy her more without even trying or meaning to. But they've kept a two-sided relationship for the past weeks and she could not deny that the boy made her curious.

"Can I sit here?"

Annabeth's gray eyes looked up to meet a pair of sea green ones, the pair that had been obscuring her vision for the past weeks.

She did not answer and just settled with staring.

Percy snorted delicately and motioned for the empty space on the bench. "I'll take that as a yes."

Silence.

Besides the banter, silence usually accompanied their conversations, but the usual tension that the awkward silence used to have subsequently subsided for a while.

"Thalia's already in?"

She nodded. "I'm guessing you're next?"

"Yeah… You're always good at guessing."

"Reasoning's a better term, if I should say so."

"Smartass."

"Kelphead."

They both laughed.

"You know," Percy started after their fit. "I've been showing Rachel Elizabeth Dare around."

"The new girl?" Annabeth's nose instinctively wrinkled. Not that she disliked the girl. The redhead seemed okay…

Percy affirmed. "Well, yeah. She's a little talkative for a while. And then she completely shuts herself out from the conversation in a few minutes. She… It seems like she's always dreaming."

"Daydreaming?" Annabeth's eyebrow quirked. If this Rachel girl's head always float around in space, what kind of –Annabeth hated saying it – s_ickness _does she has?

"Bill – he's the guy who thinks he can fly – told me that she was diagnosed with a type of schi… schi… schize-," Percy stated, clearing the lump from his throat, trying to remember.

"Schizophrenia," Annabeth mumbled.

"Oh yeah, that," Percy muttered, rubbing his hand to his head. "He also said she was treated from Stockholm syndrome a year ago. Whatever that meant…"

Annabeth stared at the ceiling again, racking her brain for any information about the Stockholm whatever. Apparently, her head did not specialize in wacko mental problems like that.

"She's nice," Annabeth said, not wanting to end the talk just yet. "Attractive too."

Percy suddenly stiffened in his seat. "I –uh… I haven't thought about that."

Annabeth shrugged, trying to look apathetic.

Percy mused. Rachel. Attractive. Well, he might…

"I guess so," Percy's cheeks began to color. "I mean, her pants look nice."

They glanced at each other for a second and then Annabeth burst out laughing.

"'Her pants look nice'? I mean seriously, Percy. That's the best you can do? Talk about making lousy excuses," Annabeth choked up, holding her sides.

"Then what do you want me to say?" Percy countered, defensive now. "Like if you're a guy, you surely would know what to say." His voice oozed sarcasm.

"I know a thing or two about guys," Annabeth uttered before she can stop herself.

How stupid! She knew where this conversation would be going…

"Uh-huh," Percy's response challenged her. "Seems like you're not the type to have the boys clinging though."

Annabeth glared at him darkly and Percy realized how his remark sounded to her.

"Not that you're not attractive," he added hastily, hoping Annabeth wouldn't gut him. Of course Annabeth was not _not_ attractive. He knew that. Or at least the subconscious part of his head did not forswear that…

"Oh thanks, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth replied snidely. "You too do not know the first thing about girls, either."

Percy huffed. He had experience with girls. Too much experience for his own good. Annabeth did not know how wrong she was…

And then his eyes drifted to where her cuts were. Her tanned arms were filled with scars. Percy can hardly make out what her arm would actually look like without the cuts and scabs. He could see the new ones that she glazed…

Annabeth's eyes trailed to where his eyes were staring at. She sighed irritably and rubbed her right arm.

"Seriously, Percy. You guys don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Worrying? Who's worrying?"

Annabeth raised her eyebrows and Percy sighed. The look on his face gave him away.

"Just try to stop doing it again Annabeth," Percy mumbled almost inaudibly.

"You tell me. Why don't you stop stoning and drugging yourself before asking me to stop my own deal."

"I am trying. And it's much, much harder than you think," Percy glared at the open windows.

Annabeth sighed again. "Just stop snooting on me, Jackson. And I'll see what I can do."

He gave her a genuine smile, and as she gaped, she couldn't help but smile back.

"Annabeth?" a male voice sounded. They whirled their heads and turned to a tall blonde boy looking down at them, smiling. Luke.

"Oh hey, Luke," Annabeth greeted. Percy couldn't help but point out in his head how Annabeth's tone changed to… happy? Endearing? Whatever it was, he banished the thought.

"I was wondering if you would come with me. I wanted to show you something," Luke smiled and the scar on his mouth rippled. He turned to Percy. "Can I borrow her for a minute?"

Percy nodded ineptly. "Sure."

Luke grinned triumphantly and offered his hand to Annabeth. The blushing Annabeth took it uneasily. Percy rolled his eyes. _Girls. So weird. So predictable._

Castellan led her and his eyes strayed at them for a while until they sharply turned on the next hallway and disappeared out of sight.

~0~

"We have an improvement, I see?" Desiree smiled angelically. "No banging of doors or smashing some of my china now, have we?"

Percy gave her a small smile. Small, but true. He stayed for almost a month and he was a step closer to recovering. Well… almost.

"Hmmm…" Desiree mused as she flipped on her clipboard. "Calypso's an interesting name. You know, it means '_to conceal'_ in Greek? Funny how things in the world work, right?"

Percy's eyes flashed angrily. How dare she bring up that name upon them? She was supposed to be forgotten. Nothing but a terrible memory…

"How in the world did you know about her?" Percy growled, standing up from his chair now. He can almost tell that all the emotions that he had been bottling up inside would burst out in one fatal swoop.

She pursed her lips before answering, "You see, Mr. Jackson, I did my research."

Percy chuckled darkly. "Oh, wow. If snooping inside my life is the new research, then I'll give you an A."

"I figure today should be the day that we would talk about this infamous Calypso," she said.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want to. Now leave me alone and go find someone else to infuriate."

"Now, Percy. Don't be like this. It would make you feel better if you would rant about all the things you want about her," she said soothingly.

"Why should I be telling you anything?" he said scathingly. "I don't trust you for this."

"Well don't think of me as a professional or a doctor or whichever. Think of me as a friend. Friends share secrets, right? I promise that none of these things that we would be talking about would go out of this room. Just take a deep breath. Calm down. And start from the beginning. I assure you that I'll be more than capable to listen to you. And I solemnly believe that you are more than capable in handling this. "

Percy's eyes were wild. Curse the woman. She certainly had ways of knocking the answers out.

What was he supposed to do now? She was right. He couldn't keep it in anymore. His secret was out.

He closed his eyes and sucked in breath. This was going to be a long day…

* * *

**A/N: [Edited: 07/21/11]**


	8. On Death's Door

**A/N: I have to warn you. This is not going to be the jolliest chapter in this story. But this is a hurt/comfort story too, so I guess that justifies this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 8: On Death's Door

"What is it that you want from me?" Percy questioned out loud.

"I want results, dear," Desiree said knowingly. "These may not be granted in an instant, but I am known for being patient."

"Oh, don't patient my ass," Percy glowered.

"Language, honey," Dr. Fiske said and Percy rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I'll tell you. Not everything, probably. Just so you would stop bugging me."

"I'll always be bugging you, Percy."

He glared at her.

"But if you would want me to reconsider…" Desiree started pulling out something from her coat pocket, and his eyes bulged in horror. "Looks familiar, eh?"

"That's – that's" Percy stuttered and then shook his head violently, recollecting his thoughts. "That's mine."

Desiree held the stash of marijuana and cocaine a little higher. "You're right. This _was _yours. Your smuggled drugs had been keeping you stoned three weeks ago until these were confiscated a little later. We told you that trust is essential. How can we trust you if you kept on violating the rules that we have provided? Rules that were provided for _your_ betterment?"

"I don't need anyone's trust," he shot back.

Desiree smiled lightly, shaking the pot, making Percy's mind run incoherent.

"You may think not. But if you really want to get better, if you really want to leave and go back to the way everything was supposed to be, then I assume you would need us. You would need us to trust you."

Percy bit back an insult and fought to urge to strangle the woman. Darn her, she was right. She was always right. Damn the shrinks and their horrible ways of getting patients like him frustrated. Besides that Percy was trying to suppress his anger, he was getting really tired. Drowsy, even more than usual. He slumped back to his chair and the doctor flashed him a grin.

"Exhausted, are we now, Mr. Jackson?"

Percy vaguely raised an eyebrow and sighed. She was right. Again_._

"Believe it or not, but you are improving in more ways than you can imagine. Exhaustion is one sign of withdrawal. A good sign. Each day, you would experience more and more withdrawal symptoms like nausea and migraines."

"Whoop-de-doo."

Desiree ignored him placed the stash back in her pocket. "It might not be… pleasant, but that's what you get from slacking yourself in the first place. Your predicament is not as worse as the others, if I should say so myself. It would all pass. You're going to be fine, now that you have _us._"

His eyes stared imploringly at Desiree's. What did she mean by _us? _The way she said it meant that Percy has his own family _here_, inside a psychiatric hospital. And who was _us?_

"Now, now. Are you ready to talk about her?"

Percy sighed and nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"You promise to tell me everything?"

Percy hesitated before answering, "Yes."

Desiree smiled victoriously and prompted Percy to slump down on what looked like a massage table. "Former patients used to lie back when they tell their stories. They found it easier to talk if they avoided any eye-contact with me."

Percy huffed as he laid down his back. "Gee. I wonder why."

She smiled in return, pen and clipboard ready. "Start from the beginning."

He wacked his brain internally. How come he had agreed to this? What's done is done. But, where would he start?

"I guess I'll tell you where we first met."

Dr. Fiske nodded.

"My first day in high school was terrible. Bullies all around picking up fights and teachers calling you stupid when they saw your middle school permanent record… Unlike typical first days.

"That's when I saw her," he cleared his throat and peered nervously at Desiree.

"Her full name's Calypso Anne de Niro. She's half-American, half-Latina. Her father served the U.S. army and she moved near my school when I was five months away from turning fifteen. She was lost in the maze of hallways when I was putting back my books inside my locker. She asked for my help and I gave her a tour around the school."

"I was her only… acquaintance at that time. Gradually, we became friends. And she became best friends with my other best friend, Grover." Percy smiled distantly at the thought. "Slowly, she made new friends on her own and she became, without a doubt, popular."

"I'm guessing she's a pretty one," Desiree smirked.

Percy blushed in spite of himself. "Yeah. I guess so."

Desiree chuckled. "Continue, then."

He averted his gaze at the window pane. "Calypso was an amazing friend. A great tutor, too. She helped me during our classes, especially during Home Economics and gardening classes," Percy shook his head, slightly laughing, feeling he was getting himself a little bipolar. "Why guys needed tips on how to plant stupid shrubs, I really don't know." Desiree chuckled at that.

"There were times that she was being… affectionate. She was always helping me the way I guided her on her first year, she kept on sticking around when I needed her… And she kept on arching her neck for me to smell her perfume all day," he said darkly. "The next thing I knew, she was shoving her tongue down my throat. And the thing was, I didn't resist. She was Calypso. She was the kind of girl no one can resist. No one can't help but love. I was a hormonal fifteen year old back then, and I didn't actually care to notice how wrong I was."

"I should say that I was in a state of paranoia. I don't know, but she controlled every aspect in my life. Everything I did was connected to her. It was always about her. We've been going out for like… seven months. We've been inseparable. I trusted her that she knows exactly what our relationship would be leading to. She knows the whys and the what-nots. Or that's what she kept saying to me. That's what how she wants it to be."

"And then _that_ happened." Percy paused, grimacing and clenched his fists.

"What happened, Percy?"

He closed his eyes and answered a moment later, his voice tight. "She got pregnant."

Desiree's face looked outwardly calm, her voice turning soft. "Why did you –"

"I didn't do anything, okay?" Percy's eyes dashed open and turned to his psychiatrist. He could barely control the shaking in his voice.

"Then why – "

"I never slept with her. I wasn't the dad."

"And it bothered you that she slept with someone else. That she cheated on you."

"I wish that was the only thing that 'bothered' me," he muttered angrily. She fell silent and he continued.

"She told me I was the father. And she kept on pestering me about it and I kept on telling her off that I had nothing to do with her, that I never had sex with her and that she cheated on me and _I_ should be the one mad at her."

Percy laughed bitterly again. "And do you know what else is funny? She sued me for raping her. _Me. _Raping _her_." He snarled at the last words, disgusted that he finally said it. He waited for Desiree to comment, but she was studying him intently and he went back to his ranting.

"I always had everything worse. People at school kept on looking at me like some kind of maniac. Cheerleaders and jocks backed Calypso up. I got beaten up by a bunch of random kids and Calypso's dad. Scared the hell out of me, too," he swore across the room, knowing that Desiree would not mind his use of language now.

A long pause ensued as Percy regained the horrible memories that he tried for years to repress. Not waiting for the silence to last for more than a minute, Desiree's expression softened and motioned for him to continue.

"And things got up to court. Calypso was proven guilty for making those crappy stories. I got homeschooled for the rest of the school year. I was awarded with crazy, spy psychiatrists like you chasing me 'round. I dealt with all those nasty rumors about me.

"And I moved on." Percy inhaled deeply, the way he used to when he told depressing stories and stresses. He opened his sea green eyes.

"So, I guess that's all," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"And that's why and when you started taking drugs," she mused, placing her clipboard on her lap gently. She eyed him sympathetically.

Pery shrugged again.

"Do you feel any better now?"

He sighed and shrugged.

"I must tell you, I know you feel very bad."

"I'm okay."

"But Perseus, you are not okay."

"Then what is it that you want me to feel?" Percy shouted in outburst. He didn't mean to yell. After all, Desiree did what his previous psychiatrists failed to do.

She listened.

But he was tired of everyone asking about his past and throwing him sympathetic looks. He didn't need a helping hand. He was stubborn enough to resist the world. Desiree thought she understands him. But he thinks, he _knows,_ that it would not extend to a point where she could help him. And her calling him by his full first name was just an added bonus to his irritation.

Desiree's lips formed a thin line and spoke. "I want you to start admitting how you are feeling. Starting now."

"Why do you care so much?"

"We just do."

"No. I don't think so."

" Listen, by releasing your emotions, and by not cramming it all in your chest, you would be able to get past your turmoil. You will be able to cope up with stress. In coping, you wouldn't need to be drugged."

"You don't have the slightest idea how it feels like."

She shook her head slowly. "Oh, yes. I may not have experienced theeuphoria of taking drugs, but I _do_ know that drugs are not the solution to your problems."

"And what if I don't want to be cured? What if I want to get drugged? What if I wanted to stay drugged?" Percy crossed his arms to his chest.

Desiree mimicked his action, challenging him. "That's simple. We won't let you."

~0~

Annabeth stretched her arms and yawned loudly. After a few hours of sitting, reading and back stretching at the library, she was exhausted. She smelled something good in the hallway. Her nose crinkled and her stomach rumbled. And now she's hungry.

But she really wanted to rest. But then the little, hungry devil coaxed her to eat.

_No_, her much disciplined angel told her. _You said you'd stick with Silena's diet. You promised you would help her with it._

_To hell with diets! _Her devil side swore. _Who cares if you'd get fat? You're not some psychotic anorexic like her, anyway._

_That's not a very nice thing to say_.

_Well, I'm the devil, duh. They don't exactly pay me to be nice, dumbass._

"Shut up, you two!" Annabeth shouted at her shoulder, earning her wary looks from the nurses sitting at the benches in the hallway.

She cursed internally. Great. She was now talking to herself. Forget Fiske. They might as well throw her to the loony bin for good.

She lowered her head to avoid their gazes and headed towards her room. She yawned more loudly at the sight of her bed.

The room was a little bit… unruly. Annbeth made sure everything was organized. Her bed seemed freshly made, a small stack of books that she had taken out from the library were situated at the top of her cabinet. But her roommate didn't seem to take her attitude at the room as swell.

Speaking of her roommate, Cleverlyn was stretched across her bed, unmoving. Her left arm was dangling helplessly and her lips were almost pale.

Annabeth ignored the sleeping beauty and searched through her ream of notebooks and set of books for the rented copy of _To Kill A Mocking Bird._ It was taking a long time to read, even for her. It dealt with rape and other adult themes. Between her simulation classes and appointments with Desiree, she found less time in finishing the book.

When she grew tired of searching her bunk, she turned to the sleeping Cleverlyn. It wasn't anywhere in her bunk, so Cleverlyn must have borrowed it, without asking.

Annabeth hissed and headed towards Cleverlyn. It may be the only chance she would finish the book. She could foresee that she wouldn't have enough time in the future. She was usually against to waking someone up, especially if the person was downright tired, but she really needed to get her hands on that book. Besides, one small shove wouldn't hurt, right?

"Hey. Cleverlyn," she gently shook her roommate's shoulders. "Cleverlyn? I just wanna ask you if you have my _To Kill A Mockingbird?"_

No response. Annabeth's lips tightened and she shook a little harder.

"Hey. I just wanted to ask you if you borrowed it."

Still no response. Tired than ever, Annabeth stopped shaking and sighed.

"Look. It's a paperback copy and the cover's blue. It has bold letters on the – Cleverlyn?" She knitted her eyebrows in frustration and knelt beside the bed.

"Cleverlyn? Cleverlyn? Hey! Wake up! Cleverlyn! Hey, Cleverlyn!" Annabeth cursed loudly as she shook Cleverlyn's slumped shoulders. It flopped back into the mattress. Her eyes did not flutter open. Annabeth got a hold of her arms. Her skin was icy cold.

Cold.

No response.

"Cleverlyn?"

No pulse.

"Oh my – Cleverlyn, no! Wake up! Wake up, for Pete's sake! Wake up!" Annabeth shook her roommate's body more violently.

Her gray eyes started to get clouded by tears.

"Oh please, no. Please, please, please, no."

Annabeth was choking down a sob when a small, cylindrical container fell from the mattress as she was shaking her friend. She hesitated and picked it up, daring to read the label.

_Sleeping Pills. For ingestion. Take in proper dosage._

Her gray eyes widened. She immediately rummaged under Cleverlyn's pillow and found a bottle of empty cough syrups and stashes of white pills.

"Cleverlyn…"

A tear glistened on Annabeth's cheek, falling on the empty bottle of sleeping pills.

Falling on the bottle that ended her now lifeless friend.

* * *

**A/N: I warned you, guys. So I hope you won't get angry with me and start putting flames in this story. I'm really, sincerely sorry about killing off Cleverlyn here. This chapter is actually dedicated to my neighbor who just died and I had to get it off of my chest. I wasn't comfortable in writing off a character permanently and I hated death above all things. But I have to say that this really has something to do with the plot, and I hope that you would just bear with me and stick around for the later chapters. And since Cleverlyn is written off, there would be a new character coming, so stay tuned for that.**

**I hope you aren't mad at me for doing this. Cleverlyn Spencer might appear worthless in this and the previous chapters, but her death would play a major role and change the lives of the people in Oakturn Riverdale Psychiatric Hospital.**

**Sorry about the language, you guys. I might be using more cuss words as the story progresses (and the characters mature).**

**Please review. **

**[Edited: 07/21/11]**


	9. Scars Of Past Love

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 9: Scars of Past Love

Percy took slow, heavy steps towards the rec room, slightly nodding at passers-by by recognition. A cold air sets in inside the walls of Oakturn Riverdale Psychiatric Hospital. It wasn't everyday that patients would go over the edge and commit suicide. Admittedly, the thought of suicide frequently passed the minds of the hospital interns. But it was the first death ever encountered in history. The first casualty.

Dreadful memories of Cleverlyn Spencer's death came haunting back to him.

_~0~_

_He ran as fast as he could._

_ It had been a long time since he ran that fast. It would seem that his lungs would burst and die in the process. But he tried to hold up._

_He leaned at the door post, panting and catching his breath, his hand clutching his chest abruptly._

_He made it._

_And he saw it._

_There she was. Annabeth Chase, crying her red, splotchy eyes out, was clipping herself next to her roommate's body. Was she okay? Injured?_

_"Oh my gods," he half-whispers and hurries next to Cleverlyn Spencer. "Let's get her to the hospital, quick."_

_Annabeth threw him a watery glare. "We are in a hospital, you idiot."_

_"Well at least I'm trying something here," Percy spat and tugs at Cleverlyn's arm. It was cold. "You're the one who called for my help. The others can't come. Let me carry her to the infirmary."_

_"No. We won't take her there, Percy," Annabeth answered in broken sobs and rubs her slightly healed cuts on her arms._

_ "Are you out of your mind? She's unconscious! We have to take her there."_

_She shook her head soflty and whispered, "There won't be any need for an infirmary."_

_"Why?"_

_One miserable look at Annabeth's gray eyes and one touch at the bottle lid of the empty bottle of sleeping pills, and Percy got the message._

~0~

_Cleverlyn's gone._

When was the last time he talked to Cleverlyn? Or even bothered to spare a thought about her? To him in the past, she was just Annabeth's crazy roommate. Cleverlyn Spencer was diagnosed with schizophrenia under the care of another doctor whose surname Percy could not even pronounce.

He did not know that Cleverlyn was an only child who got beaten up and abused by her father. He did not know that she was always ordered to take contraceptive pills. Her dad, the almost regular beatings, the abuse, the pills – it drove her to the edge. For Cleverlyn Spencer was an extraordinary girl in an extraordinary crowd with flapjack problems. He knew not a speck of information from her until her untimely death.

Percy did not even bother to get to know her. Or bothered to know her name while she was still living. That made him sad. That made him angry. That made him ashamed.

It took a lot of his courage to swing the glass door and waltz in.

The memorial service was about to start. Everyone had already filed in and took their seats. The thing was Cleverlyn's body was no longer there. The hospital had already verified the mom and the corpse was now being shipped back to Monte Carlo. The Spencers cannot bear the sight of Cleverlyn's 'lot'_. _No one, not even Cleverlyn's psychiatrist can attend her funeral. The hospital decided to offer a memorial service in her honor. It was the least they could do for everything that happened to her.

Mrs. Spencer was thinking about filing a case against Riverdale but thought better of it. It was suicide after all. The hospital's pharmacist got fired for negligence and allowing a mentally-disturbed patient the permission to acquire hazardous medications if taken in an improper dosage.

Percy took a seat next to Luke and Rachel, sighing.

"Is it true?" Rachel muttered in his ear. "That you and Annabeth found her dead in her room?

Percy nodded gravely. "It was Annabeth who stumbled to her first."

"Was it true about the sleeping pills and the syrups?"

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Percy. I told her to stay out of it. I told her everything would turn bitter in the end. But she wouldn't listen."

His head snaps and turns to her abruptly. "You knew?"

Rachel's eyes darted from across the ceiling. "I saw her fate. I dreamt about her drugging herself and dying. There were voices," she shrugged. "It was a painless way to die."

Percy's eyes suddenly steeled. He did not believe in the prospect of something as crazy as fate or seeing the future. But there were times that Rachel knew. Times that she guessed right. Like that time she knew what would be the next special last Tuesday evening. She even shouted at the dining hall to tell everyone, every time. And she was always right.

Though he couldn't shake the fact that Rachel might or might not be telling the truth, she was a schizophrenic, just like Cleverlyn. She's nuts. But then again, she was right about Cleverlyn, too. Then what did that have to do with anything? Must be a connection or something, but…

_No._

He stopped himself. There's nothing to think about. This was way beyond normal. This wasn't rational thinking. He's kidding himself. He rarely did any rational thinking. This could be a first.

_Rachel can't really see the future, can she?_

Then he looked at Rachel Elizabeth Dare's green eyes and frecklish face.

Crazy or not, Rachel was something…

"I'm glad that she's dead, though."

Wait. Rewind_. _"What did you say?" he asked, taken aback.

"I said, I am glad that she's finally dead."

Percy stared at her dutifully.

"How can you be not happy?" Rachel asked. "She's finally at peace with herself. No more doctors goading after her. Her father won't hurt her anymore. She won't have nightmares. She's in heaven. She'll be fine."

Percy sat straight and faced the annoying redhead. "Not that I'm against it or anything but how can you be so sure that she'll end up in heaven, or that she's in heaven right now? She killed herself. That's not a really good thing to do."

"Because I believe in her. It's just like the wind. You feel its breeze even though you can't see it, but you still believe that it's real, right? Cleverlyn's life is just like a wild and poignant rollercoaster. And I know she's safe up there. She's a good person, Percy. People like you tend to ignore her. I've known her for about a week and two days, I think. But that's enough for me to know that she's a good enough person. Good enough to deserve heaven."

Rachel took a shaky breath and stared at the white ceiling above them. "Did you get me, Percy?"

Percy nodded, feeling a little guilty again. Rachel bothered to get to know Cleverlyn. Made friends with her, even.

Luke snickered. "Oh he gets it, Rach. It's not everyday he gets his himself busted." He chuckled and patted Percy at the back. "You really pulled a rant there, huh?"

Rachel shrugged. "I just said what I wanted to say, that's all."

They kept their mouth shut for a while until someone broke the silence. "We are ready to start now," a shaky voice from the microphone sounded.

Dr. Venus (no one knows her last name) was checking off the attendance sheet. She turned to Percy's group and arches a brown eyebrow. "Where's Ms. Annabeth Chase?"

The group exchanged looks. If they knew one thing, Annabeth was always the first one to arrive in assemblies like this. While they were running around the hallways or fumbling with their clothes back in their rooms, she was already ahead of them and would be in the rec room. Annabeth was a punctual freak.

"Hmm… A pity. Well then, can one of you look for Ms. Chase? Tell her we're having a memorial service for her roommate."

"I'll go," Percy and Luke said in unison. They glanced at each other.

"It's okay, Percy," Luke said to him. "You don't have to bother, really. I'll go."

Percy shook his head emphatically. "No. I'll look for her."

"Don't be stubborn, Percy."

"I'm not being stubborn."

"Then don't go."

"Do you even know where she is? Because I do. And isn't it much better to have a direction than going for a wild goose-chase, is it?" Percy countered.

"Ah. Teenagers. I remember my days when I was one," Venus smiled. "You two are so sweet, caring about Ms. Chase like that. I guess it's better than Mr. Jackson should be the one to go, since he has the better claim. Run along now, Percy. And you, Luke, should be searching for Ms…" she glances at her clipboard. "Thalia Grace. She's missing, too. Go along now boys. Chap chap."

Percy avoided eye-contact with Luke and fled to the door, hoping that he did not slam the glass to hard for it to shatter. He can feel himself steaming. Not that he was irritated with Luke. Luke was the first one who befriended him. He was just concerned with Annabeth as much as he does.

Then he halted at mid-step. He didn't know what's worse; being jealous that Luke's showing his concern for Annabeth, or that he was being jealous in the first place.

_No, Percy, _he chided himself. _You're acting like a kid. There's nothing to be jealous for._

He made quick turns across the hallways in small intervals and read the numbers plastered on the white doors.

_381. 382. 383. 384…_

When he heard small wailings at room 385, he hesitated. _Maybe Annabeth wanted to be alone,_ he thought. After everything that happened to her roommate, Annabeth deserved a break. But Cleverlyn was not just Annabeth's roommate. She was her friend. And what kind of friend would she be if she would miss her own friend's eulogy?

Percy turned the knob and his eyes widened.

Just one thought registered in Percy's thick-hazed head.

_Holy shit._

Annabeth was crouching near her bed, arms bleeding, new cuts oozing with blood. She was holding a small razor whose pointed end was stained with red.

Even after seeing Cleverlyn's suicidal deed happen in this room, Percy still wasn't used to seeing gory scenes and the like.

He felt that he was rooted at Annabeth's doorstep. He couldn't move. He couldn't believe that he would see her like this, be an audience to her pain. And Percy didn't like the scene one bit. Surely made it to his list of the top ten things he would rather die than see. The sight of Desiree in pink bikini was running a close second.

And then, Annabeth's head turned and Percy's breath hitched. Her gray eyes were clouded, as if a new storm was brewing inside of her.

Then she started howling horribly, as if every weep induced her throat in flames. Percy hurried towards her side and knelt.

"Annabeth," he said, vigorously shaking her. "Annabeth, snap out of it."

She continued to sob and Percy could feel his own heart plummet. What was he supposed to do? He never dealt with anything like this. He never had to. What was there to do with cranky, delusional, emotional chicks? Percy mentally snapped her fingers.

_Think, Percy. Think._

"Easy, Annabeth. Easy does it," Percy cried desperately, his mind internally panting and screwing many ways to figure out something…

Her hands were shaking badly. She was ready to cut her arms again. Blood began to escape from her broken skin and he can feel his brain going in a complete haze. He scolded himself. This was not the time for his mundane brain to shut down. At this rate, Annabeth would lose so much blood she'll end up seeing Cleverlyn again after all.

No. He'd seen far too many deaths this time. He needs to get the razor out of Annabeth's bloody morbid hands. But how?

"Come on, Annabeth. Give the blade to me."

Annabeth shied away from him and made a small cut just below her forearm. Percy winced. Blood started trickling down…

Feeling frustrated, he moved closer to Annabeth. It was like coaxing a child.

Maybe he needed to be a little gentler…

"It's okay, Annabeth," he tried to sound soothing. "I'm here. I'm here, Annabeth. Please don't hurt yourself. It's okay. Don't do this. Everything's going to be fine." He told her everything to calm her down, praying that it would work.

"N-no," Annbeth croaked and buried her face in her hands. "No, no, n-no. Everything's _not _fine. It's just my luck that e-everyone has to die, r-right? My m-mom, my best friend, Cl-Clever-lyn – everyone close to me ha-s to d-die, right?"

The slightest squeeze in her arms made her cuts release more blood. He needed to do something fast.

"H-How come I get to lose everything I care about? How c-come b-ba-bad things come just as inco-onveniently? W-why does it always have to be me?" Her face resurfaced and she glared at Percy, angry. But he knew that Annabeth wasn't angry with him.

She was angry with the rest of the world.

"Tell me, P-Percy," she mumbled, still crying. She vainly wiped her tears and the stain of blood on her cheek. She cleared her throat, trying to be coherent.

"What would you do if you feel like the world is hell bent on making you miserable? If you feel that the whole world – the whole universe is against you? When nothing in your life seems permanent?"

Percy hesitated_._

~0~

_I want you to start admitting how you are feeling. Starting now._

~0~

"I – I don't know," he said fervidly. Annabeth was deadpan smart. If she couldn't figure it out, how could he?

She started crying again, her blond hair wet and kept on sticking on her chin. Percy decided to let his boy-man instincts take over.

He was never the touchy-touchy kind of guy and thank heavens Annabeth wasn't too. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

He took Annabeth's head into his hands and allowed it to bury on his chest.

It had been a long time since he had ever been this close, this physically close, to a girl before. It was Calypso whom he had been this intimate for so long; he never allowed himself to look at another girl since the incident. But Calypso and Annabeth were not the same. Calypso and Annabeth were not the same person. They did not coincide in his head in harmony. Calypso was his past. He should not be dwelling on the past – not anymore.

He should start focusing on the miserable, blonde girl in his arms.

~0~

_By releasing your emotions, and by not cramming it all in your chest, you would be able to get past your turmoil._

~0~

"Sshh. It's okay, Annabeth. I got you," he started, rubbing her back, pulling her tightly. Annabeth began to bawl more slowly. Subtly, Percy took the razor from her grimy hand and tossed it onto the back of the room. He gently kicked the other set of devilishly pointy razors, putting it a few inches away from them for good measure.

He ignored the wetness of his shirt. He ignored the warm feeling that courses through him. The warm feeling that wasn't entirely caused by blood trickling on his shirt and arms.

"I don't know what I would do," Percy breathed, smelling in the apple, lemon, mint – fabric softener? – insinuate from her. "But if I wanted to do something about it… I'm pretty dense, but I'm sure – I'm sure I'd ask for help. Make things work out."

He gave it a few seconds until Annabeth stopped trembling.

"You can't keep on blaming yourself for things that happen. You have to trust me on this, Annabeth."

"You make it sound so easy," she wheezed.

Percy slightly shrugged. "I know. Desiree does, too. But I guess you have to really, really trust me on this. You have to trust _her_ on this."

Annabeth buried her face in his torso deeper. Tears started flowing once again.

"Cleverlyn made a choice. It wasn't your fault."

She shook her head again.

"Don't start again, Annabeth. Please don't cry. You know… you're making me wet all over," he smiled sadly.

Percy felt a slight ripple come from his chest. He can picture out Annabeth smiling.

"I know," a muffled sound came from her. "It's just that… everyone will start leaving me again. I'm kinda, sorta… a control-freak," she chuckled under her breath. "There. I said it."

He frowned slightly. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"But when you're a girl with intense pride and a control-freak at the same time, well, you're psycho," she replied sadly. "There's nothing in my life that's permanent. I want at least something in my life to become stable. My family, my friends, my future…"

She resurfaced and blinked out the tears that threaten to resurface too. "Luke, Thalia, Rachel…" She turned and faced Percy. Her eyes were a devastatingly darkly tinted. Percy could feel his mind swirl, going jumbled. His green eyes could see the tiniest hint of a pucker in her gray eyes.

"Even you, Percy. You'd leave me someday."

Then Percy grew unknowingly angry. He wasn't angry at anyone or anything in particular. The idea of him leaving Annabeth all alone was ludicrous. It made him… furious? He couldn't contemplate any further because he heard himself say…

"I won't leave you Annabeth. I swear to any god there is that I won't leave you. I promise."

Annabeth sniffled. "You know very well that promises are meant to be broken."

Percy said the things that flashed in his head. "But I'm not just making an oath. I'll be here, Annabeth. As long as you want me."

She smiled faintly and glowed. She buried her face in his chest again, drinking in the fact that he's still here, comforting her.

"Just do me a favor. It's not much. Just a friend-to-a-friend favor," he added the last sentence as an afterthought. She nodded discreetly.

"Please stop from incising yourself again? To tell you the truth, I'm kind of squeamish and I hate to see you like that. It – it scares me."

She nodded again softly.

"Pinky-swear?" he asked, holding out his finger.

Annabeth laughed, a muted sound coming out from his chest. She slightly shook her head at the childishness of things and raised her own pinky. Their fingers intertwined, creating a new banded deal.

A new banded friendship.

"Gods, Annabeth," Percy sighed heavily, hugging her. "You're a mess."

She laughed. And he laughed. They both laughed in spite of themselves, their voices echoing across the room. Driving away the silence…

Ensuing new ties in unbelievable circumstances.

~0~

_Trust is essential in forging new relationships…_

~0~

"Where's Dr. Fiske?" Percy inquired as he sat on the sofa.

"Dr. Fiske is currently on a scavenger hunt," Venus said smugly, ignoring Percy's tentative looks. "She'll be back as soon as possible but let's forget about that. You are here regarding my concerns about you."

He grimaced inwardly. He learned in his stay that when doctors have concerns about you, it wasn't the usual I'm-concern-about-you homey-dopey human being feeling. Hard to describe, but Percy grew cautious about it.

Venus was, and admittedly, the hospital's official doctor slash matchmaker. She had been famous for pairing up random people in the institution, namely Paris and Helen, an agoraphobic and anorexic respectively, who had stayed and been cured twenty years ago and are now – dare I say it – happily married. When one was under her blacklist, expect that she would go through crazy situations trying to make the person happy in state of love affairs. She was, next to Desiree, one of Percy's least favorite doctors in the world. And Percy Jackson had been through a lot of doctors, so that's really saying much.

"What do you want?" he clammed.

"I wanted to know how everything is between you and Ms. Chase," she said, almost giddily.

Percy could feel his cheeks starting to flush. Oh no. If Venus gets the wrong idea, then…

"There's nothing going on between me and Annabeth."

"Oh I was just asking if she's alright – "

"She's fine," he said rather icily. "Thank you very much for asking."

Venus lips contorted into a hideously sweet smile. "No need to be cold, sweetie. I was just asking. You don't have to keep any secrets from me."

"If secrets about my love life are the only thing that's keeping you interested, then sorry for bursting your ridiculously stupid bubble. I've got nothing."

"Don't be rude, Mr. Jackson. I was just asking. No need to get all defensive."

"I'm not defensive!"

"Of course you're not, hon. Of course you're not."

Percy folded his arms and pressed them on his chest. Venus was as snooty as Desiree. Maybe even snootier.

"How is she doing, by the way?" he glared and Venus held up her hands. "I'm just asking."

"She's fine," he answered curtly.

"Is she cutting herself again?"

"She said she won't. I made her promise that she won't."

Venus crooned, making Percy flinch at the sound. "Isn't that sweet? You care about her, don't you?"

"Of course I do," he said before he can stop himself. He meant it in a friendly concern way, but to Venus, well… You can imagine the double-meanings…

"In more ways than a person can imagine, yes?" she smiled.

He did not respond.

"Anywho," Venus plunged in her seat, eyeing him steadily. "I want you to do me something. It's a uh… a little assignment."

His sea green eyes flashed vigilantly.

"I want you to keep an eye out for her, Percy. Be there for her. She's a bright one, I see. But she's not careful enough to see what she's doing to herself, even with all that smarts. It's a sweet thing for a sweet guy like you to do," she smiled.

She continued. "And you'll need her too. You need each other. It's just a step-by-step process and we all learn from it."

Percy gazed at the small window again, letting Venus' words sink in.

"You and Annabeth are going to be my next project. I'm sure Desiree would agree whole heartedly. This is so exciting!" Venus clapped her hands like a schoolgirl.

At that, Percy stood up and left, not bothering to be escorted out of the room.

~0~

That night, it took a long time for Percy to fall asleep.

He was thinking about Cleverlyn's choice. He was thinking about the odds. He was thinking about what Venus told him.

He was thinking about Annabeth.

He flumped around his bed, clamping his covers up to neck. He tussled and turned, making himself comfortable until he faced the sky blue wall that dimmed in the darkness. He allowed his thoughts to stray for a moment…

He wasn't all sure about the promise back then, being spontaneous and all. But now he made up his mind.

He'd follow whatever Desiree advised him. He'll take on whatever Venus instructed him. Not that he felt obliged to…

He closed his eyes and let his spirit wander.

Because he _wanted_ to be Annabeth's protector. Because he _wanted_ to fulfill his promise.

And a protector never breaks his promises, right?

* * *

**A/N: I just hate this chapter.**

**[Edited: 07/22/11]**


	10. Twenty Questions

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 10: Twenty Questions

"So you're name's Nico," Thalia said, munching on her taco. "Can you give us your last name? I didn't quite catch that."

"Di Angelo. But you can call me Nico," he replied solemnly, his dark, silky hair covered his eyes a little.

"Oh I don't go by first names, di Angelo," she smirked, muttering his last name to prove her point.

"So what are you in for, Nico?" Luke asked.

Nico's Adam's apple bobbed. He stared at his plate for a second before answering, "Got a little messed up and did a couple of, er, bad things. So I – uh, got sent here by my dad."

Percy, Rachel and Luke threw him sympathetic looks while Thalia just snorted, spewing a few lettuce from her mouth. "Been there, done that. You should be a little more creative in making your sob stories, di Angelo."

Rachel popped her lips at her remark and Luke and Percy rolled their eyes. They were used to Thalia's constant hostility – she was still undergoing this whole attitude-adjustment thing – but the way she acted towards the new kid wasn't so acceptable.

"Easy, Thalia," Luke chided. "You know what Desiree's gonna do if she hears –"

"I know what she'll do, Castellan. I've been here long enough to know that hag's old tricks. So kid," she turned to Nico. "If you want to make a statement, then you're in the right place."

"I'm fifteen," Nico spat. "Don't call me a kid."

Thalia snorted. "Looks like someone has a flaring temper too."

Percy gritted. "Don't be so snotty about it, Thalia. Leave him alone."

"Hey. Has anyone seen Annabeth?" Rachel asked, looking around, anxious to change the subject. "She's been gone too long."

"Yeah. Where is she? She still hasn't met our newest member in Club Zonkers," Thalia quipped.

Percy sighed, tossed his napkin on his plate and stood from his seat. "Let the nationwide manhunt begin. Alright. I'll bring her back in a jippie. Stay put guys. Lay off on Nico, Thalia."

Rachel cracked a smile. Thalia just snorted delicately while Nico just stared at his plate, inwardly grateful.

Luke raised an eyebrow. "Bring her back in one piece." Suddenly a vision of him holding on to a broken Annabeth and leading her to the rec room flashed in Percy's mind. It was an unholy day back then. He shuddered and banished the thought.

"Oh, and tell her about the party," Luke reminded.

"I will."

"Tell her her pizza's getting cold too," Thalia added.

"You just wanted to eat the pizza," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Oh I'm concerned with Annabeth, alright. Ever since she made a pact with Beauregard's stupid diet…"

Percy did not hear more of this for he ran off towards the exit.

~0~

He groaned, brushing off beads sweat from his forehead and upper lip. Almost twenty minutes of searching and Annabeth was nowhere to be found. Percy thought about where in the world she would be hiding, and the worried about the idea that she had not eaten lunch. He pondered the instances of Annabeth doing something wacko with her stomach empty, and Percy grew more anxious and searched for her again.

_No. She promised she won't cut herself again,_ he thought. It would only be fair that if he would keep his promise, she would also be true to her side of the matter. Percy even dared himself to open the door to the girl's bathroom, a little relieved to see only a couple of toilet seats gaping at him.

Maybe being a protector would be harder than he thought. After all, the girl he was protecting was so bent on incinerating herself he would lose his sanity for all that its worth.

Percy stopped suddenly at the sound of an instrument playing – a piano? An organ? – a melodious sound. His head turned at the rec room, its door wide open as Percy's eyes were growing by the second.

Crepe paper hung loosely at the ceilings, yellow chrysanthemums lay at the window sills. And a blond girl, her back turned at Percy, was gently stroking her fingers at the ivory keys of an upright piano.

"'Sup Annabeth?" he greeted, waving his hand though she hasn't seen him yet.

Annabeth's fingers momentarily raked at the keys and furiously swung herself, eyeing Percy's casual pose. "Gods, Percy! Don't sneak up on me like that! Do you even have the normalcy to knock?"

He shrugged. She huffed and turned to the piano, playing once again. "What is it this time?"

"Um, you missed lunch."

"Yeah, I did."

"And you're not thinking about grabbing one?"

"Nope. I'm not hungry."

"Oh. Okay," Percy said, a little miffed. He shook his head and told her, "There's a new kid joining us. Name's Nico di Angelo."

"Oh, great. Another wack job. Is Thalia being rough on him yet?"

"Too rough actually. Poor tyke."

Annabeh grinned at the image of this Nico being Thalia's new personal punching bag but did not comment. They both said nothing, letting the music fill the room for a few minutes.

"Do you want to meet him?" he asked suddenly.

She pressed the keys with much force, the pace slightly quickening. "Hmm. Sure, I guess. I'll see him at dinner. Maybe."

"Maybe? You're skipping dinner too?" Percy yelped.

"I said _maybe_. You know… Perhaps. Possibly – "

"I know what it means," he spat, irritated.

"And why'd you care? You're not my mom."

"Of course I'm not. What if Desiree and her goons found out?"

Annabeth shrugged indifferently and replied, "Let her find out. I don't care. For the meantime, I'll be here, if you please."

"Since when have you become the daredevil?"

Annabeth only rolled her gray eyes and did not respond.

"Anyways, why are you here?"

"I met up with Will."

Percy's gaze abruptly turned to her. "Will? Will who?"

"Will Solace. The guy from table seven. Short blond hair. Blue eyes –"

"Never heard of him," he admitted. "Since when have you been meeting up with him?"

"Started yesterday," she said blithely, clearly not noticing that Percy's flustered. "I've just met him."

"You just met him?" his voice sounding astounded. "And now you're going out with him?"

"No. No, it's not like that," she reddened, glaring at him. "Meeting up is different from dating, blockhead. As if you'd know the difference between the two," she rolled her eyes.

"I know that," he awkwardly chuckled. "So why'd you met up with him?"

"He likes it when I play."

"So?"

"So," she continued, the precession of the keys more vigorous. "I'll play music for him whenever he wants to."

"Why?"

She stopped again and sighed, adjusting her stool so she'd face him. "Will doesn't… talk."

"Wait," he furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't get it. How's that have anything to do with you banging on the piano for him?"

"Well, Will's not actually a mute. He just… refuses to talk. He only responds to music."

"You mean, he dances around the room whenever you play for him?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "He's paralyzed on the waist down and confined on a wheelchair. In other words, he can't dance."

"So when you play music, he speaks," he stated. He realized the more he made assumptions – no matter how wrong they might be – rather than questions, Annabeth would least likely pound on him.

"Not actually. He just nods his head with the melody."

"That's it? That's the only kind of interaction you two can have?"

"That's the only interaction _anyone_ can afford to have with Will. Music is the only thing you can do to get something out from him. You should've seen how he acts around everyone. You might think he's a dead guy on a wheelchair with his eyes open."

"Weird. How come I've never heard or seen him before?"

"Beats me. Only you can be unobservant enough to miss something as obvious as that."

Percy sighed loudly and headed towards the ping pong table. He searched for the paddles, but did not find any.

"No paddles?" he said dumbfounded. "Are they kidding me?"

"You can play with your hands though," Annabeth supplied.

Percy snorted. "Like that'd be fun. I mean, no paddles in table tennis? And they kept on talking about following the rules –"

"That's for safety reasons, Percy. Paddles are no longer allowed because some people are not level-headed enough to stop themselves from hitting each other to death whenever they get into some squabble in the middle of the game."

"You sound like you approve of this."

"Trust me, Percy. I'm not liking this as much as you do."

Feeling idle, Percy decided to bang his palm at the green table, matching the beat with Annabeth's melody.

"Just tell me what you're here for Percy," she called after a few minutes.

He halted his banging. "I wanted to tell you about the party –"

Annabeth's fingers slightly plucked, the tone slightly became offbeat. "What party?" She turned and placed her eyes full force on him.

No pressure, Percy.

"Well it's kind of a 'group meeting' or a 'group session', whichever it is you'd like to call. We all gather around and huddle and bring sleeping bags in the AVR room and there would be snacks and drinks and a bunch of other things. Basically, it's like a slumber party with a very, very reliable addition of adult supervision."

"Group sessions? They hadn't mentioned that during orientation."

"Well, Rachel said it was new. They just wanted to stop that you-know-what from happening again. Really hit the hospital's medical reputation and all. But it was just Rachel's hunch."

Annabeth frowned slightly. Cleverlyn died because she felt that she was all alone, that she can't turn to anyone about her fears, her nightmares, her hallucinations. She felt abandoned by everyone and did not find anyone, like her doctor, worth trusting. Now, the staff agreed that group sessions would prevent any more cases of suicide.

Percy blinked back at the memory of Annabeth cutting herself and bleeding herself to death until he got a hold of her and brought her back to the infirmary which nursed her back to health. He stared at Annabeth's thunderstorm eyes for a moment, and realized they were remembering the same thing.

People suck at living sometimes. Others kill themselves and they don't realize they suck in dying too.

She grimaced. "And why are you telling me this, Jackson?"

"I just wanted you to know, that's all."

"Thanks but no. I think I'll pass for now." She turned her attention to the piano. Percy found himself marching forward to her.

"No? But Annabeth – "

"Give me one good reason why I should go."

He paused for a while and mused. I'll be there."

"So?"

Percy tried not to be hurt by this. He steadied himself, trying to look unfazed. "I thought – well, I thought you'd want to hang out with us for a little while," he answered, blushing despite himself.

"As much as fun as that sounds, – and I'm sure you're not dumb enough not to detect the sarcasm there – I really don't want to go," she spat, her hands stopping. "I have a lot of things to think about."

He could feel his voice getting higher. "You know what you're problem is? You think too much. No wonder you're like that. You have to stop thinking so much, Wise Girl."

"Well, thank you very much for your concern," she said scathingly. "Unlike some seaweed brained persons I happen to know, I do think a lot. And you know what? It does make me a lot better."

"You call cutting yourself to death better?" He glowered.

Annabeth's eyes flashed angrily and retorted, "And you call drugging yourself to death even better?"

Percy clenched his fists. He could be impulsive a lot of times and he was praying he could control his anger, especially now that he was facing a deadly tiger as wild as he was. "We're not supposed to be fighting, Annabeth." He breathed heavily. "We're supposed to be friends and we can't do that if we keep on trying to lunge on each others' throats. I'm sorry for everything that I've said. Not that I didn't mean it," he said, slightly grinning, ignoring the seriousness of the situation. He really did mean what he said, and he wasn't the kind of guy that took what he said back. "But it was wrong to say it to you, anyway. So I'm sorry."

Her eyes softened a little.

"Truce?" Percy held out his pinky. She did not look up. "Come on. There's no age limit in making pinky swears, Annabeth."

She smiled discreetly, though the smile did not touch her eyes. She raised her finger and twirled it with Percy's own.

"For now, I guess," she smiled.

A light flutter rippled in their hearts when Percy took a nearby stool and sat next to Annabeth.

He eyed her as she continued to play virtuously. "I didn't know that you could play."

"You've never asked," she answered simply as the tune turned to a higher octave.

"If I did, you would have told me then?"

She shrugged delicately and slightly closed her eyes, "You don't know a lot about me Percy, as much as I don't know much about you."

He thought about this for a while and said, "Then can I ask you er, about you? If you really want to uh… you know –"

"You're really smooth, Percy," Annabeth laughed.

"Oh, thanks," he grumbled with chagrin.

Annabeth laughed again. He could feel the laugh slowly breaking the tension and continued, "So can I ask you some things? You can always bow out, but you did say that I don't know much about you and you don't know much about me and as friends I think we should –"

"Just fire away," she chuckled, slightly having fun at Percy's prattle.

He gazed at the piano keys for a while as her dainty fingers pressed them. He looked up and asked, "Why is it that you hate me so much? Aren't we supposed to get along and stuff? Have I done something wrong for you to treat me like some dimwit, scumba- "

"One at a time, Percy. Okay," she stopped playing and twitched her fingers. "I don't really know –"

"And you really hate not knowing, right?" Percy grinned widely.

Annabeth punched him in the gut. "Another rule in twenty questions. Don't interrupt when someone is answering your question."

Percy blanched and she continued. "Like I said, I don't know," she eyed him curiously. "My best guess is that we clash. Our personalities clash. As if we're made to cut each other's heads off."

"But that doesn't stop us from being friends, right?" he said. "I mean, we can try."

"Which brings me to my next question," she said. "Why are you so intent on being my friend so much?"

"Because I wanted to be friends with you," he answered just as fast as she fired her query. "Isn't it supposed to be that simple?"

Annabth averted her gaze towards the other side of the room. "Maybe. It would be a lot easier than ignoring each other, since we always sit in the same table three times a day. And besides, I have no idea why you'd want to be my friend, anyway.

"You're right. You're a cranky, hothead, butt crack know-it-all who keeps on yapping at me all day. The meth might be messing with my perspective, I guess," he snickered at her expression. "But you know, it's kinda cool that you're too smart for stereotypical blonde jokes. Really sweet."

"Ha ha," she rolled her eyes indignantly.

"Hmm. Besides the piano, what else do you play?"

Annabeth made a quick interlude with the piano and smiled to herself. "I play the flute and the violin but not much as the piano. I'll experiment with guitars once I get out of here. It looks really interesting."

"So I am right about you being a know-it-all."

"Whatever. What school do you go to?"

"Goode High School, Downtown New York. Favorite color?"

"Green. How 'bout you?"

"Blue."

"Not bad. Favorite food?"

"Barbeque. Favorite book?"

"Evolution of Architecture. You?"

"Nah. I don't read. I told you I'm dyslexic."

"Oh right. Favorite band?"

"Too many to mention."

"Just pick one. I said favorite, not favorites."

"Hmm. I can't choose, really. I mean, a lot of bands sound good to me."

"Fine, then," at that moment, Annabeth was too absorbed at the conversation and removed her hands on the piano. "Yogurt or Ice cream?"

Percy laughed. "Definitely ice cream."

Their banter lasted for almost an hour until Rachel and Luke found them and dragged them out of the rec room.

…0…

"I can't. I can't do it," Silena muttered, grasping at the bread sticks as if they were her life.

"Oh don't be such a wuss, Silena," Clarisse muttered, lying back on the carpeted floor. "You're not backing out on a deal, are you?"

"Well, no," Silena's lips quivered. "It's just that… I already ate dumplings and shrimps and a bowl of rice this week."

"Come on, Silena," Travis Stoll said. "Just shove the damn bread on your throat and get on with it."

"You lost the game, Silena. It'll be fair if you'd accept the terms. We all agreed on that," Dr. Parker, table nine's therapist told her.

Silena's eyes flickered nervously and settled at Charles Beckendorf. He just smiled reassuringly at her and Silena, little by little, nibbled at the bread stick. Woots and cheers erupted. Everyone started giving her pats at the back as she continued to chew on her bread sticks.

"Good thing Silena's getting covered," Thalia settled beside her tablemates as she chewed on her sphagetti. "It's been a while since she's eating wholly again."

"Yeah, but she still needs the whole coaxing thing," Rachel said, twirling her red hair between her fingers.

Luke yawned and stretched her arms over the sofa. "She's still making progress. Maybe she and Beckendorf would be out of here in a couple of months."

"What's with her and Beckendorf?" Percy inquired.

"Let's just say they've got something going on for the past months in their stay."

Percy stared at the two, imagining Silena's thin and frail body around Beckendorf's ripped and buff arms.

"Wow. Great couple," Rachel slightly sneered.

"Oh, they are one heck of a couple, I'll say," Luke told her. "Silena's the only one who can get away in using Beckendorf's first name. You should have seen them last Fourth of July."

"They're the gooey and sugary kind of couple" Thalia wrinkled her nose and munched on the pasta. "An unusual pair, yes, but still the sweetness alone makes me gag."

"Your just jealous no guy's gonna like you enough to ask you out on Valentine's Day," Nico laughed.

Thalia's blue eyes flashed, tiny sparks flying. "If I hear one more word from your putrid mouth, I swear –"

"Table three? Would you like to join us in the circle, please?"

The six whirled their heads and saw their therapist near a neat row of sleeping bags, waving at them. They all exchanged looks and grudgingly went towards her and sat at the linen cloth spread across the tiled floor.

"I'm back!" Desiree chirped. "Did anyone miss me?"

A couple of Yeahs and Sures and Whatevers sounded.

"Well, then. Before I start, I wanted to say I'm sorry about missing Cleverlyn's memorial."

They all furtively looked at Annabeth who was now staring down at the cloth.

"I had to run a few errands. And it took a long time for me to do than I thought it would be. So now that I'm here, let's start the session. Is there anyone who wants to say something?"

Nobody made a sound and they just stared glumly at the clothed floor.

Desiree tapped her chin. "Hmm. It seems that you are not accustomed to group sessions yet."

"We're having like a hard time telling you what you want to know, and now you're expecting us to blurt out everything to everyone else?" Rachel exclaimed.

"It's not that easy," Thalia ascended.

"Yeah," Nico nodded gravely. "And if you didn't get the memo, I just got here."

"That is why you six needed the group session the most," Desiree answered. "You needed to exert yourselves and guide each other. Like confidants. You kids need to tell what you feel not just to me, but also to others."

Luke pounded his fists. "This is pointless. It's not like we're still going to be best buds when we leave this place. Just admit the fact that maybe not all of us can be cured in the way you want us to."

Desiree shook her head. "You might as well know that setting you all together tonight is not my idea. Orders have been given out that you kids should be grouped together to discuss your problems, for being with peers may help alleviate the tension and you can be able to express yourselves freely."

"Not in here, we don't," Rachel muttered.

"All the same. Now that the matter is settled and closed, shall we start?"

~0~

"I was told my mom wasn't always like that. If only my father stayed…" Luke's voice wavered and he settled to stare at the white curtains ahead.

Desiree nodded. "And has it ever occurred to you that your running away might have caused her more pain?"

"Smart move you made back then," Thalia quipped.

Luke growled. "That's a pretty smug comment coming from a girl who made the same mis – "

"Hey. Chillax guys," Rachel grinned, earning annoyed looks. "Doc's just saying. Besides, you all went back to your parents, right?"

"Speaking of which, have _you_ started reconciling with your _own_ parents, Ms. Dare?" Desiree asked.

The redhead slowly angled her head and answered, "I don't know. They won't understand – "

"Have you tried telling them the truth?"

"Well, no. They only know that I'm being difficult. With the visions and fainting spells and all…" she driveled on.

"So Luke," Desiree said after a while. "You're starting college – "

Luke almost groaned as the subject was turned back to him. "I'm in my second year," the blond boy said flatly. "Majoring in Philosophy."

Thalia laughed out loud. Rachel, Nico and Annabeth suppressed smiles.

His eyebrows scrunched. "What?"

"Nothing," Thalia snickered when the laughter subsided. "It's just um… you and Philosophy? There's no way you're getting a career out of that one."

"Keep your opinions to yourself," Luke muttered.

"Um, Percy?" Desiree called. Rachel squeezed his arm tightly. His eyes snapped back, pulling him from his trance. "Huh? What?"

"You okay? You kinda zoned out."

"Oh well, yeah. I'm fine," he shook his head. "I'm good."

Desiree shot him a look, quirked her stencilled eyebrows and turned to the others. "Well, it's already nine thirty, so I guess let's wrap it up and hit the hay."

"Thalia, gain control. Try counting one to ten, try not blacking out and keep taking the medications I've given you. No strangling please. Luke, learn to be a little independent and think about more of the consequences. Nico, private session starts tomorrow at 10. Followed by Nico would be Annabeth. And Percy, try not to doze off. "

She clamped her hands. "All of you are doing great. Thank you for participating tonight. I do hope you'd be doing better next time."

"Next time!" Nico groaned, exasperated.

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure it would be less… gruelling day by day," she smiled and stood from her chair and left.

~0~

"Is she always like that?" Nico jittered nervously as he watched Annabeth set out her sleeping bag. "Are you sure the doctors checked her for steroids?"

Annabeth smiled ruefully. "Well, she guts almost every single person she meets. And that's a natural thing. To her, I mean."

"Oh, joy," Nico pouted.

"Look. Thalia's acts like your everyday punk with the rebel attitude. But don't forget that she's also a girl. You'll get used to her. You just wait."

"Pscchh. Alright. I'll wait. Until all my bones would be broken and floppy like jelly."

"Oh, she won't break all of your bones. Maybe just one or two of them. But not exactly all…"

"Thanks, Annabeth," he said.

"Hey, no problem. Just do what you have to do."

~0~

Rachel pulled out an iPod from her torn jeans and slips the earphone buds in her ears. Percy watched her eerily, the moonlight illuminating them enough to see her get settled. "They actually allowed you to have music players here?" Percy whispered and pointed at the iPod. "I thought they confiscated those kinds of things."

She shrugged and pulled the sleeping bag over her body. "Let's just say I have a few tricks in bending the rules."

"And when you said 'I', you meant 'my ridiculously rich father'," Annabeth muttered.

Rachel stuck out her tongue and rolled her body to face the other way.

"What about her father?" he mumbled to Annabeth.

She jerked her head to Rachel's direction. "Ask her."

Slowly, Percy tilted her head at Rachel, boring his eyes on a floppy mop of red hair. He wanted to know what they were squabbling about a minute ago, but he did a double-take. Nothing caps off the perfect evening like a tired and cranky Rachel Elizabeth Dare trying to rearrange your face.

He momentarily stared at the ceiling. "Hey, Annabeth," Percy half-called, half-whisphered.

"What, Seaweed Brain?"

"Can you tell me some long philosophical quote right now? I'm feeling a little insignificant."

Annabeth chuckled lightly. "You know, I'm always wondering what's going on in that thick head of yours."

Percy cracked a smile. "Aww. You think about me."

Then a flying pillow landed squarely on Percy's face.

"It's out of professional curiosity," she hissed and retracted her pillow.

"Okay. Okay," he said, fighting a laugh.

They stared at the ceiling.

"I'll let you in my head if you'll let me in yours," he blurted stupidly.

"It's getting late…"

"I know," he exhaled. "I'm sorry. I'm being a jerk. Go ahead. Get some sleep."

He gazed at the chandeliers until he heard Annabeth sigh and demanded, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

Percy hoped it was dark enough for Annabeth to not see him smiling uncontrollably. "Tell me five random things."

"And you'll do the same?"

"Unless you'll bore me to sleep with your flowery dialogues, sure, why not?" He can almost feel the glare Annabeth was throwing at him.

"Uh…," she mused. "On my thirteenth birthday, my dad gave me the bike I've always wanted when I was a kid. I fractured my knee when I tried biking on the steel railings."

Percy covered his mouth to muffle his laughter. "Extreme sports. Wow. I'm liking you already."

She continued. "I once had a puppy, three goldfishes and rabbit. They all died."

"Remind me not to give you a hamster for your birthday."

She chuckled softly.

"Anything else?"

"I used to wear my Yankees cap all the time but my dad told me to leave it in my house," she frowned. "At least I'll have an incentive not to make a run for it."

"Must be a really special cap. You follow the Yankees?"

"I'm not into baseball, really. My mom gave it to me when I was... still young. She died in an… accident." She looked away for a second.

"I'm sorry, Annabeth," he told her.

"It's okay. Don't be. I'm not sorry," she smiled at him bitterly. She shook her head. "Anyways, I should tell you that I always dip my fries on my sundae."

Percy grinned. "Tastes great, doesn't it? It's my favourite combo in McDonalds."

"Yeah. I'm starting to miss all those greasy things they try to sell us."

"You've got one more," Percy stated.

"I'm under scholarship."

Percy snickered. "An A plus student. Well, why am I not surprised," he whistled and Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Most people are afraid to say about their scholarship status, if they are one. I like your guts."

"Why, thank you."

"So you have to keep a point average? 95 or so?"

"92. 95's for creepy geniuses without a life," she said as a matter of fact.

"So you're saying there's a lot more of people who are much smarter than you?"

"Loads."

"Whoa," Percy mused, dwelling about the fact that there would be a bunch of seventeen year olds who were smarter than Annabeth, who, by the way, was one of the smartest person he's ever met.

"Your turn," she announced, nudging him.

"Well," he thought for a while. "I got kicked out of school… a lot. Nine times, to tell you the truth."

"Nine times?" Annabeth tried to control her voice, avoiding the squealish quality in tone.

He nods and glances up the ceiling. "Goode has been my ninth school."

"You don't look threatening, really."

Percy made a face. "I don't beat up people. I just – well, school life just sucks for me," he shrugs indifferently.

Annabeth made an understanding noise under her breath. Not able to fit in well with schoo: that's something they can relate to.

"I hate confined spaces. They make me go nuts."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I constantly feel like the whole world's closing in on me. Like a bazillion eyes keeps on staring at me."

"Who would possibly want to watch you all the time?"

"I don't know. Surveillance guys?"

"Your head is full of kelp."

They fell silent.

"I like to eat blue food."

Annabeth looked at him speculatively. "Say what?"

"I said, I like to eat blue food."

"Blue food?"

Percy nodded, grimacing. Annabeth laughed out loud, not bearing it anymore. "Hey! No making fun of the food."

"All right," Annabeth wiped a tear from her eye. "I'll let you explain the... blue stuff."

Percy glowered at her before continuing, "See, my stepdad had an issue with my mom, and then she started mixing my food with blue food coloring when I was a kid. Kind of a ritual," Annabeth noted his voice turned nostalgic. "Almost everything I eat back home got dyed in blue."

"Blue cakes, blue pastries, blue candy..."

"Yeah."

"How come you're tongue's not blue?"

He laughed. "And I thought I'm the one who always ask the stupid questions."

"Jackson! Chase!" A booming voice from the far north side of the room, a dark silhouette mooning. "Group session ended forty-five minutes ago! If you two would stop flirting any time now, your fellow tablemates would really appreciate it!"

Muffled sniffles and laughter echoed across the room and Percy and Annabeth hoped it was dark enough for anyone not to notice them blush. Percy glanced at Annabeth, whose blond hair glinting over the silvery moonlight. She closed her eyes and said, "I'll get back at you for this."

On his mouth escaped a ghostly chuckle and whispered, "I'll be waiting for that."

* * *

**A/N: Certainly not one of my bests.**

**Review please, though.**

**[Edited: 07/21/11]**


	11. I Fear Fear

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 11: I Fear Fear

~0~

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Annabeth let out a piercing scream. Thalia and Luke exchanged glances and tried to hush her, but Annabeth was on the roll.

"Get it out!" she squealed. "Kill it! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It moved!"

"Relax," Luke said soothingly, his lips twitching. His ears were pounding as Annabeth wailed even higher. He had never seen Annabeth like this, and he's sure Thalia and the others hadn't either.

Annabeth glared at him with fervor. "Relax? How can I not relax? There's an eight-legged monstrosity on my wall!"

"It's called a spider," Thalia snickered. "Get a backbone, will you?"

"I know what it is!" Annabeth growled. "Just get rid of it!" Her squeal turned nightmarish as she saw the nine centimeter long daddy long legs moved a few inches.

Thalia repressed her laughter and held out her hands. She moved towards the wooden cabinet and put out her right foot. Reaching out for support, Luke held her left arm tightly and gave her a boost. Thalia slowly lifted her left foot. She cursed under her breath when the cabinet slightly wobbled. "Stupid heights," she murmured.

Luke grimaced as his arms turned sore. "You're kinda heavy, you know."

"I gotta say. The food's prime in here," Thalia replied, reaching out her other arm. "Might as well eat before they start some crappy regime and turn our lunch into soy beans."

"I like soy beans."

Annabeth screamed and cursed as the spider made a mad swerve to the left. Thalia hushed her gruffly.

"Calm down, Annabeth. Geez, you're giving me a heart attack here."

Luke gave out a hearty breath. "Careful, Thalia. Give it a long go. Ready?"

She glanced at him and laughed before saying, "Ready when you are."

He slightly tightened his grip and pushed her a little further while Thalia made a grab for the spider. Her hand missed the spider as it ran off.

"Shizz," Thalia muttered, retrieving her hand. Annabeth made a un-Annabeth like whimper. Thalia made another grab at the spider.

"Don't squish it!" Annabteth shrieked frantically. "You'll get spider guts stuck on my wall!"

"Fine! I'll save your precious wall, then," Thalia sneered and grabbed the spider before it made another dash towards the frame.

"Gotcha!" she said victoriously and clamped her hand tighter. Luke held her waist and helped her down, carrying half of her weight as she shifted her foot on the cabinet. Thalia landed on the tiled floor not so daintily.

"Man, Thalia. What have you been eating?" Luke rolled his arms, his eyes squinting.

"Thanks," She sighed in exhaustion. "There we go," she said and slightly opened to reveal her palm. The spider's legs moved weakly. Annabeth's eyes bulged.

"Throw it away," she mumbled, her lips trembling.

"All right, all right. Sheesh. Not even a thank you…," Thalia grumbled to herself as she marched towards the trashcan.

Annabeth gasped. "No! Not in the trash can!"

"But you said to throw it away."

"Yes! I want you to get rid of it but don't dump it in there! Whenever I'll throw something, I'll see it!"

"Oh come on, Annabeth. By the time you'd be throwing some rubbish in the bin, the cleaners would have emptied it by then and you're good to go."

"But what if I'll dump something in there and it'll still be there? What if they didn't clean up that well and the body would still be – "

"Okay! I get it! Get a hold of her, Castellan, while I go throw this stupid thing out," Thalia ordered him and stomped out of the room. Luke whirled his head and looked at Annabeth. She looked away immediately but Luke saw that her grey eyes were misty. He moved his way towards her bed and sat, the mattress sinking at the added weight. He waited for Annabeth to look up. She didn't.

"You okay, Annabeth?" Luke asked.

"No," Annabeth sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "You saw me. I'm such a goof."

"I've seen worse," Luke chuckled and Annabeth joined in. "So, you're afraid of spiders."

She nodded and sniffled. "Anything eight-legged. Arachnophobia."

"Good thing you don't live in my place," Luke grinned. "Lots of spiders making cobwebs in any nook or cranny they can find."

"How did you manage?"

"Simple. Just do what Thalia did."

~0~

Nico hummed to himself as he explored the lower grounds of the hospital. He gazed at the giant chandeliers that hovered above him, the wide spacious lobby flicked with gold plates and marble. He mooned at his own reflection on the small glass door that went ajar as the fairly good-looking nurse entered. His father had really thought it through. He almost felt grateful for sending him here. Almost.

He loved the fact that he would miss school, but it would mean a lot of catching up when summer came, given that he'd be cured by that time. And the hospital was bleached in white. He hated white. It reminded him too much of the sun.

He pushed the up button on the elevator and waited. He got out at the third floor, east wing. Not knowing where he's headed, he made several turns on hallway crossroads, stopping only to decide whether to go right or left and checking out several nurses and patients. He made small talk with a boy who was lost, and he led him to the second floor, north wing where the boy's mother was waiting for him. As he was going to the further end of the north wing, he saw his tablemate, Rachel on the terrace doing… something. He walked and leaned on the wooden wall where the sunlight and the dark shadowy area bordered.

"Hey, Rachel," Nico greeted. Ah. Rachel was painting… something.

"Oh. Hey, Nico," Rachel replied, not looking up. Her right hand made a curve on the canvass. She dipped her brush on the palette and made another stroke. Nico tried to guess what she was painting.

"What are you painting?" he asked finally, not able to guess.

Rachel raised her palette, and with her free finger, she gestured at the green meadow ahead. "The landscape." She dipped her brush again and painted. He made an 'ah' noise under his breath. She took another dip and looked at her palette, frowning. She turned to Nico. "Can you get me the brown one over there? That – that brown color tube."

Nico glanced at the direction she was pointing at. He looked at the tube that was resting on the oval glass table. He turned to Rachel again and hesitated. If he would reach out and give the tube to her, it would mean that he would have to stretch his hand and take a step outside the…

"It's on the table," Nico gulped. He was hoping that Rachel would get it herself.

Rachel raised her eyebrows but did not look up from the canvass. "Yeah. I know. That's why I'm asking you to give it to me."

His heart and mind raced, thinking of an excuse. He's not going to risk it, of course. But that would also mean an angry Rachel Dare tearing him to pieces. He settled for the next best (not actually the best) option. He prayed that the tube would reach her as he threw the cylinder.

Well, it did reached Rachel. Reached and landed on her face.

The hit made a loud thump and Rachel pulled out a stream of curses from her mouth. Pausing, Rachel made a quick and heavy huff and glared at Nico with all her might. "What the hell did you do that for? You've got a problem with me_,_ diAngelo?"

"Look, I'm sorry," Nico apoligized fervently with chagrin, angry that his aim was good enough for the tube to land on her face. "It's – It's just that I –"

"Just what?" she snarled as she grasped the rolling tube on the ground. She stood up straight, made another angry sigh and glared at him. "What the heck is your problem? You think throwing stuff at people is fun, huh?"

"No, I –"

"It's a good thing the tube didn't crash on the canvass, or you're going to be dead meat! Dead meat, you hear me? I've been painting this thing for like hours and some idiot guy like you would be flyi – "

"Just let me explain, Rachel!" he shouted at her. Rachel fell silent. Nico rubbed the bridge of his nose and muttured a curse. "Okay," he sighed and bit his lower lip. He couldn't believe he's doing this…

"I can't go out… there. I'm afraid of the sun."

Rachel's green eyes widened for a fraction of a second and then she eyed him skeptically. "What did you say?"

"Don't make me say it again."

" But did I hear you right? Have you just said that you're scared of the –"

"Yes, yes. You heard right," he said hastily, embarassed that he confessed his deepest, darkest (literally) secret to a girl. To Rachel Elizabeth Dare, of all people. He might as well get stamped on with a big red "Unluckiest Guy In The World" sticker on his forehead.

"That's…not good," Rachel placed her brush on the wooden felt plate and let her arms drop. "You don't like the sun."

He turned his gaze at the floral painting draped across the wall opposing them, the painting looking gloomy and gray at the rash darkness. "Hate it. Despise it."

"Are you like a vampire or something?"

"I wish," Nico gave her a half-hearted smile. "Vampires havea good excuse for avoiding broad daylight," he stared at the wall again. "The prikly heat irritates me. The sunlight glaring at me… I feel like it wants to burn me all the time."

Rachel tried really hard not to smile at his statement. "But how do you get out during the mornings? You know, back at home?"

"I bring shades and umbrellas with me. Duh."

"Oh right. Silly me."

Nico looked at her intently for a while, noticing the sun glinting brilliantly on Rachel's cherry red hair. He wanted to know if his hair would be glinting like hers if he'd step out of the shadows. Or better yet, join her under the sun with the warm breeze from the meadow. But he couldn't.

"I know this is a dumb question, but do you hate heaters too?"

Nico gave her a weird look. "Yeah. I hate those, too. And no, it wasn't a dumb question."

"How do you warm yourself then? What if it gets too cold?"

"Have you ever noticed how I dress?"

Rachel squinted her eyes and said, "Um… you dress like Thalia."

Nico rolled his eyes. "I'm wearing _black_ clothes. Black things absorb heat much more than light-colored clothes. They serve as insulators."

"Oh. I thought you just have a huge fetish for black."

"Well, yeah. That's true also."

They fell silent, needing a moment for Rachel to take it all in. It doesn't happen everyday that a fifteen year old guy tells a seventeen year old girl that he has a phobia for sunlight.

"Have you ever been exposed to sunlight?" she questioned, hoping he wasn't offended by her straight-on query.

Nico nodded. "Once. I passed out," he smiled at the memory and turned to her. "You should have seen me back then. I looked really spiffy and macho when I fainted." They both laughed at that.

Nico cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. About the whole tube thing."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for yelling at you too. Besides, no smudge on my face, see?" Rachel threw her frizzy hair back and showed her paint-free face. Nico ogled at her for a moment, noticing the freckles that were sprayed on her white skin for the first time.

Rachel cleared her throat. "But I can't take a sorry as an apology now, can't I?" she smirked. "After being assaulted by a paint tube, I need to be convinced."

"Why?"

"So I wouldn't sue you for attempted murder," she answered simply.

Nico just rolled his eyes. Rachel stepped in the hallway and Nico was amazed at how the dark loomed over Rachel, making her look more mature than she already is. "Treat me a soda. I'm parched. "

"Fine. I'll get you one. You wouldn't say a word to anyone, right?"

Rachel gave him a mock salute. "Scout's honor."

They strolled towards the dining hall, the paint and the canvass on the terrace forgotten.

~0~

"Can't we take the stairs?" Percy uttered nervously. He kept on glancing at the elevator shaft, dreading the time that the elevator would go _ding_.

"No, we can' elevator here works fine. Besides, once we got up on the fourth floor, you'd be all sweaty and stuff. And I gotta tell you, I hate the smell of sweat so much it makes me gag," Rachel replied to him simply, eyeing the indicator that says that elevator would be arriving after a few floors down.

Percy pulled back his lips, constanly tapping his legs with his hand. Rachel turned to him, sensing his discomfort. "Are you okay?"

"I will be if we'll take the stairs," he mumbled, staring at the doors.

"All right," she huffed irritably. "Go take the stairs, Jackson and I'll be taking the elevator. Sixth floor, got it? And don't come near me when you're too sweaty, okay?"

Percy muttered a thanks and raced towards the staircase. He braced his hands on the steel railings, skipping a step once in a while.

_First Floor. _

_Second Floor._

_Third Floor._

_Fourth Floor._

He gasped for precious air as he leaned on the white walls for support. "Wooh."

In a few seconds, Percy heard a _ding_ and saw Rachel step out of the elevator. She smiled ruefully and wrinkled her nose at the sight of him. "You look like crap," she commented.

"Thanks," he breathed.

Rachel eyed him warily. "You've got something agaisnt elevators?"

"Elevators. No Space. Gets me crazy."

"You're claustrophobic?" she said, amazed. He nodded weakly, cursing himself for not accepting Luke's offer to do a five-mile hike this morning. Rachel fought a laugh and fumbled on her messenger bag. She pulled out a 12oz water bottle and handed it to him. Percy took it and cocked his eyebrow.

"I get dehydrated easily," she said in a breeze and watched him drink the water in a huge gulp. He wiped the small, wet drop dangling on his chin. "Thanks," he said.

"No problem." They walked towards their destination and Rachel blurted out suddenly, "That was the worst elevator field trip ever. Frank Sinatra? What in the world? Remind me not to take the elevator again."

~0~

Thalia solemnly sipped her drink again as the two boys were ogling at the serene view – not that Thalia appreciated it that much. She looked up and frowned at the blue sky above her. She took another gulp of her cherry coke, glimpsed at her skull-adorned watch and called to them. "Are we supposed to be here? Everyone's gonna notice we've been gone too long."

"Oh, why should they care where we are?" Luke smiled to himself as he answered, the wind wiping strands of hair from his face. "Annabeth said she'll cover for us."

"Oh right. Annabeth always does what you tell her to," Thalia grumbled, sipping the coke more loudly.

"Pscch… Whatever."

"Come on, Thalia," Percy called to her. "The view's great."

Thalia scowled. "No thanks. I'll leave the sightseeing to you two doofs."

"Don't be such a joy killer, Thals. It would be like a one in a million chance to get to see everything in the hospital's roof top."

"No," she said firmly. Luke and Percy exchanged mischievious grins, and before Thalia could protest, the two boys dragged her towards the roof top's edge, her hair dangling wildly in front of her face, her eyes full of panic. She closed her eyes. "No! There's no way I'm takin' a peek! You guys need to get a life or I'll shove some big shit on your ass and top it on your mouth 'till you cry for your stupid mamas back to Westfield!"

Percy snorted and rolled his eyes, amused. "We're not throwing you over. We don't need Desiree to blame us for murder either. Just take a look, Thalia. The view's not gonna bite."

"You do know I've got a mad breaker for heights, do you?" Thalia shrieked hysterically, closing her eyes until her eyelids would rip out.

Percy nudged Luke and gave him a look. Luke sighed and put his hand on Thalia's back, rubbing soothing circles. Thalia winced. Luke sighed again. "You've got to face this head on. Come on. Think of it as a favor. We're helping you face your fear, right?" He smiled as she look up. "Come on. Give it a try."

Thalia gazed in his baby blue eyes for a while, then sighed. "Fine. But if I fainted or got into some horrible bullshit, I'm blaming you for this." Luke and Percy smiled encouragingly and slowly, Thalia turned her head towards the bottom. Her breathing hitched and her vision began to turn blurry. She frantically turned to Percy, then to Luke. They were both grinning at her, assuring. Luke's arm was still draped on her shoulder, and that made Thalia flush even more. The arm distracted her a bit, lessening the blur in her eyes and urging her to go on. She blinked eight times and tried to readdjust her eyes and gaped at the trees full-on. She turned to the rest of the land, the brown and grassy hills, the golden leaves of the trees and lush bushes surrounding the pond. She stared at the whole view in awe, the locking of her knees forgotten.

"So, this is why they call it the bird's eye view."

~0~

"Aww," Therese Gödel, a rust haired, blue-eyed therapist crooned. She patted the young kid's blond hair, his blue eyes shining back at her. She turned to the older boy with the same shade of hair and eyes. "He looks just like you, Luke."

Luke scowled at the boy. "He does _not_ look like me."

She turned to smile at the young boy again. "Of course you don't look like him. He's much cuter. Aren't you, little dumpling?" Luke scoffed and rolled his eyes. The whole idea, babysitting a seven year old boy, was stupid to him. There are tons of daycare centers in the New Jersey state. How come Dr. Gödel has to drop off her nephew in a psychiatric hospital and go goo goo on Luke to make him babysit the kid? Luke wasn't actually a fan of kids. It reminded him too much of what he was back then.

Therese ruffled her nephew's hair as the boy giggled. Her eyes flickered to Luke. "Until I come back from the meeting, he's all yours. You'll take care of him, won't you?"

Luke nodded. "Sure," he said flatly. Therese flung on her scarf and headed towards the glass door. She blew a flying kiss towards her nephew and flapped the door to a close. Sighing, Luke turned to the boy who was looking at him with an expectant look. Luke bit his lip and bent his knees until his height matched the boy's.

"Hey. What's your name?"

The boy's fingers flew to his mouth and he bit them nervously. "Will."

"Okay, Will," Luke stretched to his normal height and tried for a smile. "What is it that you want to do?"

Will looked up at him, his eyes alight. "I want to fly an airplane. The one that goes whoosh and whoosh and we'll fly up high, high, high! I have a red one and you can borrow my blue one!" Will started rummaging in his backpack and pulled out his toys. He handed Luke the small blue plane with his pudgy hands. He smiled. "I want to be the head pilot! The head pilot always gets the red ones! And I always want the red one! It goes all swoosh and it swings and it flies really fast like in the speed of light!"

Luke smiled at him, taking in the boy's gush of monologue. Will reminded him of the time when Luke himself was a kid. He used to like flying toy airplanes too back at home. He remembered the white fences that overlooked his backyard, the small orchards and fruit trees that he always splattered with water balloons and where flew his airplanes. The same orchards and trees that his mother planted back at home…

But Luke shook his head, not allowing his thoughts to stray back to his home, to his mother. The thought of his childhood made him bitter, and Will noticed the frown arising from his face.

"You don't want to play with me and my airplanes," Will pouted. Luke rearranged his expression and ruffled the boy's hair like Therese did a while ago. Luke began to notice that they do have the same blond hair.

"Of course I want to play with you… and your airplanes," Luke softened.

Will's face suddenly hardened.

"What's the matter?" Luke asked him.

"I gotta go pee."

"Yeah. Me, too."

~0~

Luke unzipped his fly and turned to the urinal. Curious Will tuned his head and mimicked his actions, not seeing Luke roll his eyes at him.

Will smiled at him as the water coming out made a trickling sound. "Isn't it cool that we're peeing at the same time together?"

"Yeah, kid," Luke said, looking straight at the pipes. "I'll cherish this moment for a lifetime."

~0~

He carried Will's backpack and led the boy to the diner. He bought five juice boxes, chocolate chips and a slice of pepperoni pizza. Unfortunately, Therese forgot that his nephew had to eat ,too.

The lady on the counter craned her neck to see a seven year old boy, cowering on Luke's pants. She smiled at him and Will cautiously smiled back.

"What a nice young boy," the lady told Luke as she handed him the change. "Is he your brother?"

Luke shook his head. "This is Dr. Gödel's nephew. He's going to be with me for a while until his aunt gets back."

"Well, that's strange. I thought you two were related. He looks just like you."

Luke frowned. Apparently the boy resembled him too much.

"Aren't you adorable?" the comment was directed to Will, who sent her a dazzling smile in return.

The smile sent back Luke to another reverie. That smile was familiar.

Before he knew it, the lady was pinching Will's cheeks over the counter and Luke resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. Will hogged too much attention. He dragged the boy towards the farthest table. He sat on the chair, his palms flat on his lap as he watched Will in front of him, frowning.

"What's the matter?" Luke inched his head near Will.

Will rubbed his red cheeks and pointed his chubby thumb at the lady. "She pinched my cheeks. And it hurts."

How vulnerable and simple minded kids are? Luke scooted a few inches to him and rubbed the smooth patch of skin. "Forget her. She always does that to kids. She always think they're cute or something."

Will's big blue eyes turned to Luke's blue ones. "She does that to you, too?"

"Well, no," Luke chuckled. "Like I told you, she only does that to kids."

"But you are a kid!" Will exclaimed.

"Dude, I'm twenty years old," Luke grinned at him. "I'm not exactly what you can call a kid."

Will jutted out his jaw in a stubborn premise. "Oh yeah? Well Auntie Thessie always tells me that the age thing is just a number! We'll always be a kid inside! And I don't want to grow up!" His eyebrows furrowed. Luke laughed at the angry dwarf and ruffled his hair again.

"Yeah. That's what I always say when I was a kid. I don't want to grow up either," Luke sighed as the memories came flooding back to him without his consent.

"Like Peter Pan!" Will shouted with glee. His voice, filled with exultation, echoed across the room. "We can go to Neverland! My sister says Neverland isn't true, but I believe! Peter Pan always says that if you want it to be true, you have to believe!"

Luke laughed out loud, gripped the boy's waist and placed him on his lap. "Well, your sister's an idiot for not believing."

"Yay! I knew it! Peter Pan _is_ real!" Will threw his hands in excitement. "I knew it!"

"Come on, Lost Boy," Luke beamed at him and took the blue airplane resting on the table. "Let's do some flying."

~0~

Luke patted Will's head as he stared at the window. The boy was tucked in Luke's bed, his head peeking out of the linen covers Luke had set out for him. After a few minutes, he sighed. The small misty circles that formed on his bedroom window reminded him of his mother's eyes. He was always afraid of gazing at those eyes that seem to change color every time she had one of those nervous breakdowns.

It reminded him of the time his mom always frightened him when her eyes would snake like mad and he always made a dash to the closet and clamped his hands on his ears, not wanting to hear another shriek about what a jerk his father was and the clatter of dishes being thrown at the floor. Luke remembered the time he spoon-fed his mother when she got sick from all those pills she took, and the time he got so put up that he ran away. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd and started stealing things when he didn't mean to and got picked up by the Social Welfare department. He snorted at how things turned out bad when he started high school and at the time the psychologist of the university he was entering suggested medical help. All that happened in the moment he sat staring at the condensed circles , patting the boy's hair.

Luke straightened up as he heard three knocks at his door.

"Is he sleeping?" Therese's head popped out. She slowly oscillated the door further, cringing at each noise as it swung. A small amount of light coming from the hallway entered the room.

"Uh, yeah," he stretched and yawned. He stood up and gestured at the boy. "He's just taking a nap."

Therese smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Mr. Castellan. You've done a great job looking after little William. I owe you one."

He made a mock expression of surprise. "A therapist owing a patient. Hmm. Never heard that one before. But I'll reconsider."

Therese chuckled at that and pulled Will in her arms, rocking him back and forth. "Kids. They grow up so fast." She whirled to Luke. "I think your shift is over. I hope he hasn't been a trouble for you."

"He's a handful, but I managed. He's a great kid," he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "He'll turn out better than I am, I suppose."

Therese touched his cheek and gave him a small smile. Luke was surprised that he did not flinch from her touch. "You are a good person, Luke. Try to remember that." She patted his shoulder and made a move towards the door.

"What you have done in the past doesn't define who you are. You're still growing up. Learn from your mistakes and make the most of it." With that happy thought, she left the room, leaving a perplexed Luke in the darkness.

~0~

_Rachel! What are you doing?_

_I-_

_What did you do? You've let them get away!_

_Then what do you guys think I was supposed to do? I can't stop them!_

_Rachel. Those… those burglars are now running around the state with a bag full of our tens and thousands of our hard earned cash. They could be anywhere by now. _

_But they need the money more than we do!_

_Rachel, dear. Do you even hear yourself? Those men lied to you, Rachel. What do you think they would be spending or giving away the money for? Charity?_

_They've got to be poorer than us if they tried to steal! _

_Tried. And succeeded, all thanks to you._

_That's besides the point, dad._

_Then where do you think they would be using eight hundred gran for? Do you honestly think they would be sharing it all the others? Spend it on scraps of food, feeding the hungry? Do you think they would be promoting world peace? Rachel! Make use of what knowledge we have invested on that thick-head of yours! _

_I don't – _

_What are you trying to say then?_

_I'm trying to say that your business is making people broke and rotting them to starvation. Real estates, destroying fields… That's – that's not what we should be making money from!_

_Don't you dare question the way we are living, young lady. _

_We don't deserve the money!_

_And neither do they! Rachel, listen to me. They are _not _the ones to be trusted… And I'm afraid the same goes for you. Go straight to your room. Your mom and I have had enough of this nonsense. Pack your things. We need to get that attitude of yours to be fixed. _

_But dad!_

_Do as I say. You don't want your own father to cross you._

Rachel suddenly snapped her eyes open, terrified. Shaking from her dream, she stood up and took the glass of water she has always prepared every night. Her dreams had been reoccurring much more than the usual, showing her the things that she had always been afraid of, always had regretted…

She said good night to the goggle-eyed bright pink elephant – she still hasn't thought of a name – that was guarding her near the door post, the weird eyes eyeing her with sympathy, its trunk swaying back and forth. This would only be a part of a series of long nights ahead of her.

* * *

**A/N: Please review!**

**[Edited: 06/01/11]**


	12. Disgruntled Feelings

**A/N: Hey! I'm back! Sorry if you waited for more than a week for this chapter to be posted, but I've had a hectic schedule at school. It was like the teachers were all in cahoots and made me do extra work and all that crap. So anyways, hope you'd like this one.**

**Thanks to:**

**Alexandera - for that extra long help for helping me get a beta reader.**

**Filmfurry - for the advice about not making my chapters too long.**

**storyteller1425 - for being a wonderful beta. This chapter couldn't be made without you.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 12: Disgruntled Feelings

Percy's eyes automatically flashed as he saw the irritatingly familiar therapist greet him. Perfect makeup, perfect hair. Even in a bland-looking white coat, Venus looked stunning, though Percy never acknowledged a person's dress code. He hated to go by appearances. "I thought Desiree's supposed to meet me here," he said.

Venus gestured him to sit on the glass arm chair as she straightened herself up. "Dr. Fiske is currently attending another patient, and she appointed you to me."

"You mean you specifically sought me out."

"That is correct."

"Oh perfect." Percy rolled his eyes, seemingly not caring to hide his misconduct in front of a doctor.

Venus smiled. "Hmm. Seems like you are known for your temper, Percy. I'll try to remember that."

"You'd better."

"Let's get down to business, shall we? How's everything going?"

"Fine," Percy replied curtly. He assumed that by keeping a short and blunt reply, psychiatrists would most likely be discouraged in asking him more questions. It worked back then, when he was dealing with prying teachers and shrinks.

"You seem to be getting along with the people in here. Much better than how you dealt with your schoolmates a few months ago," she pointed out.

Percy shrugged. "They're more bearable to hang out with."

"Or maybe they are just like you. Or maybe our theory is correct: that the drugs have been meddling with your perspective and social function."

Percy gave her a pointed look and she only smiled in apology. "What is your point exactly?"

"I am saying that… how long have you not been using drugs?"

Percy shook his head, trying to remember. "I don't know. I can't remember… maybe three or four months ago."

"Three months after you've been caught smuggling marijuana and cocaine in your three weeks of admission?"

"Yeah. After that, yes," he breathed exasperatedly. "Would you like to tell me where you're going at?"

"My point is that you have been interacting with people more lately, and in a much faster pace than usual rehab kids we have to look after. Drugs really aren't for you, Percy."

"Are you saying you want me to try stealing?"

Venus laughed. "Aren't you adorable. Come on, then. Tell me how Annabeth is."

He frowned instantly at the sound of Annabeth's name. He should have known better. Venus was only interested in Annabeth's personal affairs coming out from his mouth. "I don't know. Why don't you ask her? She's with Nico and the others – "

"Actually, Miss Chase is with Dr. Fiske right now. She's the patient Dr. Fiske is attending to."

"She ditched me for _Annabeth_?"

Venus chuckled again, taking note of Percy's abrupt change in tone. She waved her hand, broaching for him to turn back to the topic. "From what I've heard, you and Annabeth are getting along very nicely."

"You know what they say," Percy retorted smugly, leaning back on his chair. "You can't trust everything that you hear."

"Oh yes. But we psychiatrists rarely get kinks in what we hear than your usual street gossip. I just need your confirmation on how close you two have been getting." Venus almost laughed at the sight of Percy fighting the redness that was threatening to surface on his cheeks. She loved to deal with patients like Percy Jackson: completely unaware and oblivious to where their young teenage emotions would lead them to. "Would you like to tell me how close?"

"We've agreed on not tormenting each other, at least."

"That's good. You do like her." Her voice did not imply the latter as a question.

Percy hesitated a bit before saying, "Yeah."

"Have you told her yet?"

"Told her what?"

"That you love her, of course."

He could feel his eyes widen and spine tingle and stiffen at her words. He huffed and reddened furiously as Venus let out a carefree and victorious laugh. She caught him there.

"Whoa. No, no. I never said anything about love. Those aren't the same things," a small fire lighted in Percy's green eyes but Venus didn't blanch. "I mean, I like Annabeth. But not enough for things to get… complicated. She's just a friend."

"Ah. Denial. Oh you kids! You are so cute!" Venus grinned cheekily. "Well, well. I guess we have to accept your answer, for now."

Percy groaned internally and slapped himself on the forehead. Venus was now hooked, the very thing he was trying to avoid to happen. Great. She was playing on him.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping me? Not psychoanalyze me in regards to this."

"I am helping you! Can't you see that Annabeth's the answer?"

Percy looked at her, dumbfounded. She caught him again. "What do you mean by 'Annabeth's the answer'?"

Venus began grinning uncontrollably, and Percy began questioning her credibility as a shrink. "You're a smart boy, Percy. You'll figure it out… eventually."

He frowned again. Dealing with cryptic remarks was a topper to the things he hated in his life the most.

"I don't have to explain it to you. You know it already, Percy, deep down. It takes time, I know," she started to pull out a card from her inner coat pocket. She handed it to him. "Here."

The card's writing was in a striking blue script, which was torture to Percy's dyslexic eyes, but with a lot of effort, he struggled to make out the words:

_The 25th O.R. Psychiatric Hospital's Annual Acquaintance Party (Winter Special)_

_December 18, 2010_

_Winston Eight Auditorium_

_BE THERE!_

He looked up to see Venus waiting expectantly for his reaction. Venus raised an eyebrow as she urged him impatiently. "Well?"

"There's going to be a party."

Venus rolled her eyes at the obvious and Percy chuckled softly. With her rolling her eyes, Percy thought that Venus looked more like an eighteen-year-old brat who did not get a good present for Christmas.

"Is attendance to this party mandatory?"

"Yes," she told him as she flipped on her clipboard, checking off things. "Doctors would be assigned to each group and would be observing you as you move around the auditorium, to see if you have improved or not. This is a part of Riverdale's monthly report."

"That's… comforting to know. And why are you showing me this?"

"I want you to accompany a girl there. And personally, I find it very gratifying if you would be the one to accompany Miss Chase to the party."

"We're supposed to bring dates to the party? But it's not even a ball!" Percy cried out frantically, his eyebrows practically rising up from his forehead. He never had any experience with parties or dances or any social gathering that required asking out girls ever since Calypso. Whenever there were any dances, like homecoming for example, he would simply bow out or play basketball with the other guys who did not get dates. He never asked a girl out, even when he dated Calypso. Usually, Calypso would take the hint and she'd end up being his date without even his asking. Being his girlfriend (now his ex-girlfriend), going to parties as his date was a given.

"Yes, you are supposed to bring dates. No, it's not a ball, but it is more than just a party filled with rowdy kids. We are in a psychiatric hospital, mind you. Bringing dates is just one click from the development agenda."

"Okay," he nodded, not actually understanding. "But why Annabeth specifically?"

"I find the two of you interesting," she answered, and Percy blushed through his anger. Venus found him and Annabeth interesting in the range of a bunch of science experiments. "You two are quite a challenge, and I have to say that I am a fan of challenges."

"I'm not."

"Nevertheless, I'd be suggesting that you should peg Annabeth for an answer. You two make quite the pair."

"I don't know…"

"Being her date wouldn't imply anything, Percy, in case you're wondering," Venus assured him.

"What if someone already asked her out?"

"Move on. Change. Find another," Venus said to him pointedly, and Percy began wondering if she was not only referring to his question.

"If I ask her to the party, and let me stress the _if_," he added the last statement hastily as Venus beamed at him. "How should I ask her? What if she turned me down?"

"Afraid of rejection, I see?"

Percy grimaced at that. Venus chuckled. "It's just one of the primal steps, Percy. Don't be afraid on taking a risk. Sometimes, they are worth it. Just follow your heart. Follow what you feel."

"Maybe you should tell me what I'm feeling right now," Percy grumbled, his lower lip jutting out. "It seems like you know what I'm feeling much more than I do."

Venus' warm eyes glinted. "No matter how much I can tell you, no one can ever dictate how a person should feel." She gave him a sad smile. Percy thought she looked a lot like his mother whenever he did something bad at school (wrecking school property or getting in a fight with bullies) and how badly he missed her, Paul, Grover, and home.

Maybe, he heard deep in his constantly nagging subconscious thought, maybe Venus and Desiree were right. Maybe the drugs were never the answer. It took him four and a half months to realize that. And maybe the answer he'd been waiting for was right there waving in front of him. Maybe he never tried looking hard enough.

"You can go now, Percy. Remember what I said." Venus stood up, pulled the door for him, and escorted him outside.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if it was short and boring; totally not what you guys expected. I wanted Percy and Annabeth to get to know each other a little more before they started going out and something like that. For me, the best thing in a love story is not the time when the protagonists get together, but all the times they were starting to realize their feelings by getting past all the indecision and denials. But that's what I think. I want to hear your side too.**

**So please review!**


	13. Invitations

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 13: Invitations

"Oh hey, Percy. I wasn't expecting you today," Silena quipped as Percy slightly peered at the open door.

"Can I talk to your roommate for a sec? Is she here by any chance?" he asked.

Suddenly a girl about five foot five inches appeared beside Silena, her eyes bulging at the sight of Percy. She instantly batted her eyelashes and flashed him which what she intended to be a dazzling smile.

"Hi, Percy Jackson," the girl twirled her brown hair flirtatiously.

"Er – you're not Rachel," Percy pointed out. He turned to Silena, who was trying her best not to laugh and gag. "I was asking for Rachel."

Hurt crossed the girl's face. "Nobody _ever_ wants to talk to me! Heartbreaker!" she spat and burst into tears. Percy felt almost guilty when the unknown girl wailed on the faded pink sheets of her bed.

Silena burst out laughing. "That was Cameron. You should excuse her. She's a little bit sensitive and always… love struck, I guess. She's in love with every single male species in this hospital. But for some reason, she likes you best." She laughed again as Percy covered his blush with a snort.

"I feel… honored. But about Rachel…?"

"She moved to room 385, east wing."

"She's in Annabeth's room?"

"Yeah. Annabeth and Rachel were really surprised that they get to share room together. Pissed, actually. They were fuming over the ridiculous room assignment for weeks. But now, they act like they're best mates in the whole wide world." She absent-mindedly shook her head, finding their companionship bizarre. "Funny how this place is turning us into."

"Since when have they been sharing room 385?"

"Ever since the uh… Cleveryln incident," she said Cleverlyn's name softly. 'Dr. Fiske and Dr. I-forgot-her-surname-again decided that Annabeth needed a new roommate for her to cope with the stress and you-know-what." She eyed him skeptically. "No one told you about this?"

"Not until today, no," Percy began wondering why none of the girls or the others told him about the exchange.

"Huh," she mused and crossed her arms. "That's troubling. I thought you already knew."

"It's okay. Thanks Silena."

"Sure. No problem. Bye, Percy. Say hi to Rachel for me!"

"Goodbye! I love you too, Percy Jackson!" a strangled voice from inside the room shouted.

Percy ran as fast as he can.

~0~

Percy made three loud knocks on the door before a mop of red hair appeared. Rachel Elizabeth Dare's curly red hair was sticking out in different places. She was wearing pajama pants that were covered in marker doodles.

He checked his watch. It was half past eleven. Seeing a girl with disheveled red hair still in tattered pajamas at noon was normality in Percy's life.

"Shouldn't you be doing something productive than sleep until noon?" Percy told her.

Rachel scratched the back of her head. "Can't." Her voice sounded muffled. "Tracy said I should be sleeping until two in the afternoon during Thursdays. For luck."

"That's ridi – who the hell's Tracy?"

Rachel yawned and jerked her thumb towards the left side of the room. "She's the pink elephant over there."

Percy glanced at the direction of Rachel pointed. Seeing nothing, he merely shrugged.

"So you're staying in Annabeth's now, huh?"

"Yeah."

He hesitated before saying, "You haven't told me this. Neither did Annabeth."

"Oh," Rachel looked mildly surprised. "I thought she already did. She tells you everything. Well, _almost_. She told me she's got a problem with trusting people." She pointed her finger at Percy's chest and back to her. "You and I, we're people. So I guess we fall into that category, unfortunately. Crazy as we are."

Percy's heart sank. Annabeth still did not trust him. How in the world will he be able to pull his next move?

Rachel yawned again. "I would ask you to come in instead of standing in the hallway like a doof but you know the rules. Besides, Tracy over there trashes the room when anyone besides Annabeth comes in our turf."

"Where's Annabeth, anyway?"

"Down with Fiske in the examination room. She'll be back."

Before Percy would lose the sparse amount of courage, he decided to ask her. "Has anyone asked you to the party, yet?"

"You're not asking me, are you?" she asked frantically, her cheeks blazing. "I'm really sorry, but… but Nico already asked me. And I said yes."

"No, no – " Percy said hastily, blushing as furiously as Rachel. "I was wondering if you already have a date. I wasn't – I figured maybe you could help me with something."

"Oh," she sighed in relief though the awkwardness was still not gone. "That's cool."

The heat of their embarrassment filled the air until Percy chuckled.

"Who knew Nico has the guts? Lucky bastard," he chuckled a little harder.

Rachel joined him abruptly. "It wasn't the smoothest of things, but Nico got me to say yes. Di Angelo's one weird guy. But he's fine, I guess."

Percy smiled. They were nice, but Percy did not consider their relationship to be all that romantic. But with where things are going… "When did he ask you?"

"Last week," she smiled at the memory. "Handed me the invitation and broke a few plates in the process." She settled her eyes on him. And then her grin grew wider.

"You were going to ask Annabeth, weren't you?"She was in hysterics when Percy's grimace confirmed her theory.

"I wasn't going to ask Anna – "

"No excuses!" she weakly raised her finger at his face, still laughing. "That's why you were looking for her. That's why you wanted to ask for my help. You were going to ask Annabeth!"

"Oh sure. Great. Broadcast it to the whole world and have a nice cup of laughs while you're at it."

"Ahahaha. Don't worry. Tracy wouldn't tell," she chuckled even more. "I wonder how Annabeth's going to react if I tell her this – "

"No! Don't – "

"Oh right! You're the one who's supposed to tell her. Now listen here, dumbass. You need to get a few things straight before you claw her for an answer."

"Forget about my asking for your help," he snorted. "Bye, Rachel."

"Too late," she smirked at him. "You already asked. There are no take backs in my world. First things first, don't you dare march and ask her to the dance with a bunch if flowers towing behind your back."

Percy's eyebrows furrowed. Don't girls love to receive flowers especially if someone asks her out? He wasn't planning to throw a bouquet of roses at Annabeth's feet. But Rachel's advice tipped him a little. "Why not? I thought girls like flowers."

Rachel rolled her green eyes. "You, my friend, are going to ask Annabeth to a psychiatric hospital acquaintance party, not some ditzy high school prom. She'll get the wrong message and you'll likely end up Clarisse's toilet."

"I wasn't intending to give her flowers but why say this to me anyway?"

"You know Travis Stoll? That sneaky guy from a bunch of kleptos from table eleven?" When Percy nodded she continued. "He tried to ask Katie Gardner. He bought her a bunch of lilies, making it all romantic and stuff. Katie's allergic to all kinds of plants. Katie said yes, alright, but Travis found his head stacked in the janitor's closet for a long time."

"But Annabeth's not like Katie!"

"My point exactly! Annabeth's not a curry-eyed cheesy fluff lover unlike some people. So no to flowers, amigo. Try to be a little subtle."

Percy thought about this for a moment. Annabeth wasn't much of 'cheesy fluff lover'. He should be thankful he wouldn't have to do any humiliating serenading or tap dancing to get to go with her. But he couldn't help but point out how Annabeth was different from all the girls he'd been going for. Like… Calypso, for starters. Calypso liked guys to be romantic all the time. Annabeth always scorned at those things, rant about how illogical, how unstable and how impermanent love is. Calypso was a hooker for flowers. From what Rachel said, Annabeth wasn't much of a fan of flowers…

"Percy?" Rachel snapped her fingers.

"Huh? What?" was Percy's smart reply, dazed.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That one's big no no, too, Percy. You've got to pay attention to her. Don't make her feel like she just dropped off from space. I don't care if you've got ADD or some shit like that. You've got to focus!"

"I know, I know," he frowned. He really needed to think straight. Annabeth and Calypso are certainly _not_ the same person. No need to fathom that out too much. "I'm sorry. What did you say again?"

He heard Rachel sigh and mutter, "You're hopeless," before she continued. "I'm just gonna say that you need to be yourself. Chill. Relax. Chillax. You're a natural, Percy. Well, you don't ooze the same kind of charm super models and A-list Hollywood actors have, I'll give you that. But you do have your _own_ charm. Just be… Percy Jackson. "She grasped his shoulders squarely. "Loosen up. But don't act _too _fresh. She'll slap you for that."

"I don't think Annabeth does slapping."

"Then she'll skin you for that."

"Thanks. That helps," he chuckled lightly.

She loosened her grip. "Try not to make her angry, please."

Percy gave her a mock expression of helplessness. "I'm doomed."

They both laughed and she gave him one last encouraging pat on the arm. "Don't worry, Percy. You'll do fine. Remember. Don't act like an ass and she'll accept. And before you know it, you two will be striding on the dance floor and chucking on each other's faces in no time."

"Seriously, Dare. Annabeth and I won't be ki – "

"Yeah, yeah. Sure you won't. You two are too clueless to get too intimate. Best of luck," she gave him a sly wink before slamming the door in front of him.

~0~

"I need your second opinion, man," Percy pleaded, slightly kicking the couch and settling himself.

"Why would you need my opinion?" Nico asked, flicking a bunch of trading cards on his lap. "What Rachel said was the best thing I can give. Loosen up and don't faint."

"Ha ha," he rolled his eyes. "I want your opinion about Annabeth exactly. Do you think it would be… fine if I'll take her to the party?"

"She's okay, I guess," the younger boy replied. Bored, he stacked the card on his drawer and slammed it shut. He turned just in time to see Percy snort. "What?"

"Be specific. I don't do vague."

"She's an _okay_ person to me. She's cool. Cool enough to take to the party."

"That's it?"

It was Nico's turn to roll his eyes. "What? You expect me to do a personality check on Chase? You've known her more than I did. Since you're the one who's gonna ask her, it's _your_ opinion that matters, not mine."

Percy thought of what he said for a while. "For once, you're talking sense."

"That is crap, Percy. Crap."

Percy rubbed his temples. "This isn't about… love or infatuation or some other freaking crap thing. I want to prove Cenus and Desiree wrong. I'm not really sure if I'm getting my point straight, but…" He exhales loudly and fumbles. "This is stupid. I'm like seventeen years old and I lack experience in something simple like asking a girl out to a party."

"Yeah. You're pretty much like a dumbass."

"Shut up, Nico."

Nico chuckled.

Percy groaned. "This is so wrong in so many ways."

"I think Annabeth's the best option. Do you imagine asking anyone out here besides her?"

The older boy stopped to think about it. Out of all the girls he's ever 'connected' with, Annabeth was the by far, on top of the non-existent list. If it was a nightmare to ask the blonde, it would be like facing the devil if he was to ask another.

"So… Annabeth Chase it is," Percy sighed.

"You're lucky you've got Annabeth as a choice."

"How about you? Is Thalia available?" Percy asked, his eyebrows wagging suggestively. Nico blushed and laughed nervously, tugging on the collar of his polo shirt.

"Well, no," he said. "Luke got to her already."

"Oh," Percy said, disappointed a little. Thalia and Nico would make a really fun pair at the party. They were always fighting and teasing, in a really brutal way sometimes. They annoy the hell out of table three sometimes, but that entire fracas might turn into something endearing.

"Then why'd you ask Rachel out?"

"Because she's my friend and I now she's still available. Simple as that."

"Did Venus get to you?"

Nico frowned at that. "Well, that nut bag hinted something about Dare. So I gave it a go." He snickered. "Ha! From the look on your face, I am betting my Mythomagic cards that Venus got to you, too. I gotta say that prick is ruining our lives faster than you say 'psycho'."

"Don't matter. We've got our assignments. Might as well give it a go."

Nico nodded. "When are you going to try?"

"After her session," he replied, already knowing whom his friend was referring to.

"Good luck, man," Nico gave him a guy handshake. "If you're still alive, I'm treating you that vanilla shaved ice you've been eyeing on last week."

~0~

Desiree pointed on Annabeth's arms before saying, "They are healing quite remarkably fast."

She shrugged lightly. "They scab fast."

"High platelet count?" she beamed brightly. "The scars are healing as fast as you are." And with that, she put down her clipboard and gestured for Annabeth to leave the room.

"Thank you, Dr. Fiske," she bowed her head slightly and closed the door behind her. She stopped dead on her tracks when she saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench at the far side of the hallway.

Percy Jackson was fidgeting madly on the bench when he saw her. Annabeth could swear she can see him gulp and hear his rash intake of breathing. She zoomed closer and eyed him critically.

"Your hands are sweaty," she pointed out.

Flushing, he brushed his palms on his pants. He stood up quite awkwardly as Annabeth observed. At five foot ten, Annabeth almost felt he towered over her, even though if Percy was just an inch taller. His reddened cheeks and green eyes that were dancing in the light made Annabeth nervous.

"Can I talk to you?" he scanned the hallways furtively, though Annabeth noticed. "Alone?"

Amused, Annabeth threw him a 'what-the-hell-do-you-want-to-talk-about' look and smiled. "Okay," she nodded.

She almost expected him to sigh in relief as he led her a few flights of stairs, from the fourth flow down. She never questioned Percy's aversion to elevators. Claustrophobia wasn't that uncommon.

They stopped at the second floor and moved to the right, Percy leading her to a place she was all too familiar. She smiled at the thought of Percy choosing it all over the places they could always talk. With a slight passing at the wall clock, she saw that it was already a quarter till seven in the evening.

Percy grabbed her hand and led her through the dark room. Annabeth was thankful for the sudden change in brightness. She was too giddy and curious for some unexplainable reason that it made her blush.

Without releasing her hand, Percy flicked the lights on and the library burst into life. The white walls gleamed and as light-headed as she was, she became genuinely happy though it never happened to her after her therapy sessions. She was just… happy. Because of some unexplainable reason…

Slowly, he led her down the row of tables and sat at the opposite side of her. Annabeth realized Percy became too aware of their fingers still intertwined as he let go of her hand deliberately. Automatically, Annabeth frowned. Percy gazed at the windows for a moment before turning to her, smiling weakly.

"I guess you remember the time you caught me sneaking in here."

Annabeth chuckled softly. "I think it was more of 'hiding' than 'sneaking'."

"Let's go with sneaking," Percy leaned on the flat of his chair, smirking. "Hiding doesn't sound too macho for me, does it?"

They both laughed in harmony.

"You okay Percy? You looked like you got slightly ran over a car or something a while ago."

"I'm fine really."

Annabeth did not press anymore. "If you say so."

The silence grew even stronger, blanketing the whole room. Neither of them seemed adverse in not ruining the small silence.

"I wanted to… ask you something," Percy gulped. His brain was going haywire.

_I can do this._

_ I can do this. _

_I can do this._

_I can do this._

"Okay."

"Uh," Percy gulped again and fiddled with the buttons of his shirt. "We've known each other for almost five months, right?"

"Yeah," Annabeth furrowed her eyebrows, not really noticing Percy's internal struggle. "I can count."

"And we… tell each other some stuff, right?"

"Uh-uh." She was really not seeing where all of this is going.

"And we can call each other friends, right?"

"I guess so."

Annabeth's response made Percy's courage plummet. "So, we're friends."

"Yes. Yes we are."

"And I um, uh – there was something I wanted to ask of you. It's uh – you could always say no, but I was really hoping you'd agree. As friends."

"We _are_ friends," Annabeth rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You don't need to elaborate that further. Just – just get on with it."

No check on the 'Do not make Annabeth Chase angry' on Percy's list. If even fifteen percent of his body was made of combustible oil, he was sure he would have exploded in heat right there and then.

It's now or never.

"Look. I was wondering if…"

"If…?" she prompted.

He twisted the cuffs of his sleeves. "You're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry ,then," she snorted. "That's my job. What are you saying exactly?"

Percy suddenly felt the whole room closing in on him. He stared at Annabeth's gray eyes for a while. Something on his gut pounced, finding something twinkling on those eyes. His courage soared.

"uwanagotuthadanswitme?" he uttered abruptly. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Annabeth pouted. "Uh. Sorry. I didn't catch that."

"I was wondering if you would want to go to the party. With me. You know. As a date."

Annabeth saw Percy sank on his chair and she bit her lower lip, urging herself not to laugh. "Is that it?"

"Yes. That's pretty much it," he muttered in one swift breeze.

Seeing his tortured expression, Annabeth couldn't take it anymore. She laughed out loud, the tinkering shaking the whole room. _Well,_ Percy thought. _At least she didn't pound me as I've expected. That's a plus._

She blinked back the tears forming and replied, "Seriously Percy. I thought you were going to die sitting there." She chuckled again. "And you call yourself a guy."

"I know," Percy frowned. "I'm a disgrace." He furrowed his eyebrows and thought about how many other guys were out there having trouble asking out girls to a non-formal party. Apparently, none.

"No, I did not mean that," she said, controlling her laughter. She patted the back of Percy's hand and smiled. "You are just inexperienced, I guess. But you're seventeen, right? Never asked a girl out before?"

"No. I didn't have to," he added, smirking.

"Well then. Sure. I'd give you a chance, Mr. Cocky."

Percy could feel his insides go numb. Was she really saying what he thought she's saying? The air around him seemed to choke him to death, and then his gut banged. His mind was soaring now, rejoicing.

_She said yes! She said yes!_

"You're actually saying yes to me?" he blinked.

"You want me to take it back?"

"No! No, no," he shook his head fervently, shaking his head clear of the fuzziness. He sighed and sank even deeper on his chair. "I just thought. You know. Damn! I thought I screwed it up!"

"Well, yeah. You kinda did."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"No, it's okay. Really. You're my first, too."

Her words rebounded on the walls of Percy's thick skull. _You're my first too._

"We're going out as friends, right?"

"Of course we are."

"No emotional attachments. No commitments – "

"Crap, Percy! Who said anything about commitments?"

"I was just clarifying!" he added on his defense.

"Alright," she huffed. "But if you say anything about all that commitment and relationship shit, I'm turning you down."

"I won't," his breathed in again. "So it's a date?"

She almost laughed at the casual throwing of words. "It's a date."

"You really want to be my date?"

"Yes. Really."

"Just as friends?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

He chuckled and squeezed her hand lying on the table, exultant. With her hands on his, it made him feel right. Her smile felt right.

"So, as friends it is."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. It was cheesy and rapid-paced.**

**Thank you for all your support! Please review!**

**[Edited: 06/01/11]**


	14. Life Of The After Parties

**A/N: ****This is the night of the Acquaintance Party and I hope you'll like it.**

**Enjoy!**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 – for the amazing beta. I couldn't have done it without you. I can't thank you enough. And I'm sorry for the new fic's length. I take full responsibility if you are miserable with it right now.**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 14: Life Of The After Parties

_Tick tock. Tick tock..._

Percy kept nibbling his upper lip like crazy before glancing down at his wrist watch. He glanced down at his simple get-do – dark blue jeans, black jacket, blue shirt, and sneakers. He smoothed out the creases on his shirt before running his hand through his hair. He kept looking sideways and on his back, as if suspecting a monster to pounce him like in Boggie Man 3-D.

He saw a nearby bench and was about to take a seat when he accidentally bumped into an antique-looking vase. Good thing he righted it just in time.

Crap. He was nervous.

Percy sighed heavily and scolded himself. He couldn't remember the last time his hands were this sweaty. And if it did happen before, well, good thing his previous dates, or _date_, since there was only one girl whom he'd ever dated, never commented on that. He wished that his date today wouldn't notice his hands going all sloppy tonight…

Wait. Who said he'd be holding hands with Annabeth tonight?

Percy mentally cursed, No to physical contact then. Would they be dancing? If they were, they would _need_to hold hands. And that included physical contact. So what? Maybe 'limited' physical contact. Yeah. That's it.

Crap. He really was nervous.

He momentarily closed his eyes to set his thought processes straight. He heard shuffling of feet a few yards away and his eyes opened. He rolled his eyes when he saw Lawrence McHarvey, a guy diagnosed with MPD and Cameron Shuck, a girl with Bulimia Nervosa, making out and clasping on each other like eels at the end of the dark hallway. Off to find an empty room or a random closet, maybe. Amazing how teenagers can be in one night.

"Is that… Cameron I see?" a voice near his right ear murmured.

_CRASH!_

Percy effectively knocked the vase of the pedestal when he yelped and stood up abruptly. "Damn," Percy muttered as he picked up the fallen pieces of ceramic. "Desiree's gonna kill me."

"I'm sorry, Percy," Annabeth managed to hide the smile in her voice. "Sorry if I frightened you. I didn't know you're jumpy."

"It's 'kay," he said, dusting his jeans a little bit. "Didn't know you were – "

Percy felt his own heart clamper up to his throat, his cheeks rising in color. He might have made a chicken-like strangling noise at the back of his throat, but half of his brain wasn't focusing on that gay sound until much later.

Because half of his brain was still in the aftershock as he tried to take in the appearance of the girl standing before him.

Annabeth was wearing a cobalt blue knee-length dress with black leggings. He looked down and saw that she was wearing black Converse shoes and yarn anklets. She was also wearing clumps of bracelets made of nylon and yarn, and Percy instantly knew who gave Annabeth a total makeover. Her hair cascaded in small ringlets on her shoulders; a perfection an ordinary hair curler would never achieve. Without her usual long sleeved sweaters and cardigans, the dress showed too much skin for Percy's hormones. The soft light of the almost burn-out light bulbs made Annabeth's eyes dance. He stifled a groan. Compared to her, Percy felt really underdressed.

Not knowing what else to say, Percy cleared his throat. "So um… Rachel got to you, huh?"

Annabeth gave him a sheepish smile and raised her dress by a fraction. "Um… Silena loaned me the dress and… uh, Rachel wanted to leave her mark. The shoes, the leggings and the bracelets are hers." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You should have seen those two arguing about who should dress me over like Barbie. They practically burned each others' hair with those hairdryers."

Percy chuckled. "Well, tell them they did a great job." He bit his lip and continued, "You look… um, great, Annabeth."

He didn't know whose cheeks were redder; his or Annabeth's. Knowing he had to make the first move, Percy took her hand, silently praying his own weren't disgusting her, and led her down the hallway.

* * *

Annabeth blinked her eyes a dozen times as she warded the blinding flash from the camera. She peered over at Percy, who didn't seem to be having any problems with cameras.

"One last time, honey!" the photographer told her after their two tries in taking their picture. "Just look straight at the lens and smile! Don't shut your eyes!"

She rolled her eyes skyward. "I can't believe they're letting us do this," Annabeth grumbled at her partner. "It's like they want us as a souvenir from having a ridiculous party in a mental institute of all places."

"Humor me," Percy whispered blandly.

She grimaced. There was no way she was gonna 'humor' him. But then Percy put a hand on her arm and she felt a shock of electricity that zapped her entire body. She wasn't a fan of touchy-touchy people, but she found herself thanking Percy for this one. Distracted by his touch, her eyes were completely open when the camera flashed, and the photographer grinned at them saying it was a lovely shot. She became hyper aware of Percy after that, noticing how he instantly shuffled his hands away from her skin and how he smiled like crazy when the guy handed them their photo.

Annabeth craned her neck to get a good look. Standing beside her was Percy smiling freely, his green eyes shining like they always did whenever he was happy. It was rare for Percy to be seen like that, and Annabeth was surprised that he put on his most cheerful look tonight, like he was actually having a great time even before the actual party. She smiled at the face beaming back at her. She'd make sure Percy would have a good time tonight whether it was on her expense or not.

"I guess my trick worked," Percy laughed out loud as he handed her the picture. Clucking her tongue, Annabeth knew what he was talking about. The aftershock of Percy's hand touching the bare skin on her arm made Annabeth's cheeks all rosy from blushing. There was a hint of a small smile on her lips and her eyes showed a really stormy gray. Her eyes – as Percy merrily pointed out – seemed to reflect hundreds of emotions at once.

"It's really hard for me to know what you're thinking," Percy admitted. "I always end up guessing. And you know me. I always end up having the wrong answers. But sometimes your eyes can drop me hints," he tugged on his jacket collar nervously and smiled to himself. "They're my favorite."

Annabeth didn't know what to make out of that.

* * *

"So…," Nico raised his punch and drank. He licked his lower lip before continuing, "How's everything going?"

"Good. Good," Percy told him nonchalantly, sipping his own drink. "We're not fighting at least."

"Everything going comfy then?"

Percy rolled his eyes at Nico's remark. The younger boy only chuckled.

"Then three cheers for Mr. Percy Jackson," Nico smirked. "Seriously Percy. Cut Annabeth some slack. She's not some condescending man-eater who's out to get you."

Percy grimaced at him. "I know, I know. No need to give me pointers, di Angelo. I can handle it."

"Then why are you acting like a doof bag?"

Percy sighed and made a furtive glance toward Annabeth and Rachel Elizabeth Dare – Nico's party date. "Annabeth's making me, what's the word? Awkward? Nervous? Well, I guess you could call it nervous. I tried, man. I tried. I tried to do be like a regular guy taking a regular girl to a school dance or something. I tried to treat her like I used to treat Calypso back when I was dating her. I just don't get it," he gulped his drink feverishly. He looked into Nico's eyes intently. "We just don't… click."

A few seconds of silence followed before Nico made a noise at the back of his throat. He gave him a disgruntled 'tsk, tsk' sound. "I'm no good at girls or at dating, Percy – and hell, you've been dating before? You must've been bad at it, I'm sure – but maybe you should try treating her like, I dunno…"

"You're really making your point, Nico."

"What I mean is that maybe you should act around her like she's Annabeth, not Calypso. You're treating her like you're taking your ex to a party. But she's not your _ex_, Percy. She's _Annabeth Chase_. And mother hell, who's this Calypso girl anyway?"

"I'll tell you later when it comes up," Percy said. "Thanks, Nico, for that uh… advice." Slowly, they made their way to their dates, who were laughing out loud at some unknown joke.

"Hi boys!" Rachel greeted.

"Hey, Rachel," Percy greeted back and sat next to Annabeth.

"Here's your punch," Nico handed the drink to Rachel. She took it and gestured to her left. Percy and Nico's eyes bulged as they watched Thalia crying on Luke's shoulder. The blond-haired guy kept on rubbing circles on her back as she sobbed. Luke must have sensed them, for he looked up from Thalia and gave them all a weak smile. His scar glinted harshly beneath the glow of the lights.

Nico almost stood up but Annabeth reproached him. "We already tried," Annabeth said. "We can't get anything out from them. We'll try to ask them tomorrow when Thalia's a little less… emotional."

"Did something happen?" Percy asked.

"No," Annabeth stated. "Like I told you, no one knows."

They all fell silent.

"It's my first time to see Thalia cry, actually," Rachel declared before sipping her drink. The three all announced assents.

"I want to know what's wrong," Nico insisted. "Thalia's our friend. We should help."

"Of course we'll help," Annabeth told him. "But for now, it's between the two of them. We need to give them space."

* * *

It was thirty minutes past midnight.

Annabeth stared at the cracks running on the plastered walls, imagining images that were not there. Thalia and Luke were long gone, and Rachel and Nico followed their suit two hours after. Percy left a few minutes ago, saying he needed a short bathroom break.

Unconsciously, her lips pulled up to reveal a ghost of a smile as she gaped intently at the white walls. She didn't expect all of this to go smoothly. Well, being in a place for loonies might rule out exceptions regarding one's expectations. Although seeing Thalia crying on Luke's shoulder was something to consider, everything that happened tonight turned out… normal. Normal for them, anyways. If she was willing to admit, she had fun. If fun was the feeling her past schoolmates would feel after a school dance or even _prom_, she'd be more than willing to join. She almost regretted all those times she would bow out on a party, or even a formal dance after spring break. She had a reason, of course. Whether it was because her two best friends would be skipping too, or it was because that she'd completely humiliate herself by not bringing a date to the dance. None of the human male population in her school would be caught dead having a blonde brainiac who cut herself and didn't dress right.

Annabeth still couldn't figure out why Percy had asked her out in the first place. There were tons of other psychotic girls in the hospital who are much better-looking than her. She was sure Venus and Desiree coaxed him to do it, but why would he agree? He was as stubborn as hell.

She looked down and assessed her appearance tonight for the umpteenth time. She wasn't flattering. She didn't have all those curvy parts that made quarterbacks at her school drool. Percy did say that he liked her eyes very much. But other than that, she couldn't fathom anything that Percy would like about her. She was just… plain.

She stared at her scars for a while and smiled in spite of herself. It was irony for her to wish that she could be a drug addict or a klepto instead of a manic-depressive girl who cut her arms for fun. Wishing she was a different kind of abnormal. Stopping herself, she shook her head slowly. Something was messing with her thought process. Must have been something with the punch…

"Why are you shaking your head?" a voice asked her. Annabeth looked up and met Percy's gaze. His brows knit together as his eyes questioned her.

She shook her head again. "It's nothing."

Percy's eyes continued to bore into her until he finally let it go. He sat next to her. They were silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry if I suck at making conversations," Percy apologized. "I didn't talk that much before I got here."

She nodded. "It's okay. Being ostracized is something I can relate to," she looked up the ceiling and followed the cracks lining up walls. Hmm… maybe the designers should have used a different building material. Sighing, she looked down again. "People always thought of me as weird."

"You're not weird," he amended. "I would have talked to you if I went to your school."

"I doubt that," she grinned. "And I'm sorry if I always end up killing you every time we managed to get through the 'making conversations' stage."

"Well, you're not strangling me today, actually. I must be doing something right for a change."

She laughed. "Maybe."

Percy paused for a while before his face shattered into an ear splitting grin. "You know how to dance, right?"

"What in the world are you talking about, Ja -, " before Annabeth could protest even further, Percy swiftly grabbed her hand and dragged her down the dance floor. The white linoleum glowed beneath the colorful lights, and Percy looked admiringly handsome even in casual clothing. The mischief in his eyes became more pronounced as he watched Annabeth's eyes flicker from awe to embarrassment.

"Oh come on, Percy!" Annabeth griped, wrenching her hand free from his grip. A bracelet fell off from her wrist. Shoot. She hoped that the clump of yarn wasn't Rachel's particular favorite.

"I promised Rachel I would dance with you."

"Liar. I know Rachel didn't say anything about that."

"Let's just assume she did."

"Cut the crap, Percy."

"No whining, please," he interjected.

She flashed him an angry stare. "Look, Percy. I don't want to dance with _you_."

A flash of hurt suddenly crossed through Percy's features, but he masked it just as fast. "There's like only ten of us left in here, excluding Dr. Garses and the DJ. Is there any reason why you don't want to dance with me?"

"Lots, really."

He rolled his eyes.

She sighed again. "Look. What I meant was I _don't_ want to dance with you because… because I _can't_. I don't … know how to dance."

He smirked but his eyes were puzzled. "Don't you have school dances back at San Fran?"

"Of course we do, Seaweed Brain! It's just that… nobody asked me to one. So I, uh – never got the chance."

"Oh," his voice grew soft. Unknowingly, he smiled. After all this time, he found something that Annabeth was – or as she claimed – not good at. He wasn't much for dancing, really. But why not flaunt what he can do while he still had the chance?

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

She shook her head. They'd keep on playing this stubbornness game all night if he wanted to.

"Seriously, Annabeth," he said, frowning this time. "I promise I won't let any of us humiliate ourselves tonight. I'm not leaving you in less than a perfect condition; whether it is you merely tripping or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits your head or even if you come home running around with only three toes on your left foot. I won't hurt you during a dance, Annabeth."

Annabeth gnawed on her lip as she took interest on her shoes, considering his words.

"You've got to trust me," he implored, offering his hand.

She made the very mistake of looking in his eyes, eyes that had been reoccurring in her dreams lately much more than they should have. It was embarrassing to tell how much she dreamt of him. She dreamed about his smile that could turn things around. She dreamed about his laugh that she liked to hear whenever they cracked an inside joke. She dreamed about his eyes that noticed every move she made and knew almost everything about her.

Now his green, green eyes were telling her to trust him, and how could she refuse?

Even with spite, she took his hand.

Percy gave her a small smile before completely engulfing her on the dance floor. He directed her hand to his shoulder and put his on her waist. They started waltzing with the slow beat of the music, and Percy kept on humming the melody as they strode on.

"Not bad, not bad," he remarked. "You only stepped on my toes once. You're not giving yourself that much credit, are you?"

Annabeth pouted. "I don't feel like I'm dancing. You're doing all the work."

"Hey, come on. The guys always have to lead, so no pressure. You're doing great."

"I hope so," she whispered. "And have you noticed that we're the only ones dancing right now?"

He shrugged. "Oh, I don't care."

Annabeth kept on looking down on her feet and tried to memorize each of Percy's movements. _Right, left, right, left, backward, twirl, right, left…_

"How weird is weird?" Percy asked, his voice queerly husky.

She shot him a look. "What?"

"You said you were weird, looking back at it. How weird were you?"

"Hmm… I'm guessing I just didn't relate to people very well. I don't know. Let's just say I'm weirder and more problematic than you. No contest."

"Can't let you win, miss. I've been kicked out of eight schools in a row, so don't lecture me on who's the weirdest in the bunch."

"Being kicked out of schools doesn't imply that you're weird," she pointed out snidely. "It probably means you've got issues or something."

"Isn't being weird and crazy an issue?"

Annabeth huffed loudly and her partner only laughed.

Percy twirled her again and said, "Okay. We are just two weird people hanging out in a party and dancing around the room like complete idiots. No other knots or strings attached."

"Just two weird people," she mused.

"Just two weird people," he agreed.

After a few moments of silence, Annabeth asked, "Is there something you've been trying to tell me?"

Percy's cheeks turned slightly pink. "How did you know?"

She shrugged. "I just… do."

He looked away, turning to the bowl of nachos directly ahead of them. "Have you ever felt like there's this person… that makes you feel something. Something really, really different. But you can't figure it out. It's like a blind spot in you. Really confuses the hell out of me," he smiled at her, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I just can't – I can't put my finger on it, but it is something. Have you ever felt that way? To anyone, I mean?"

_Right, left, right, left, backward, twirl…_ "No," she lied instantly. "No, I don't."

"Oh. Okay," his eyes quickly averted towards the disk jockey nearby. "Just curious."

Annabeth only nodded. "S'kay."

_Backward, twirl, right, left, right…_

"Uh hey, " Percy said lamely. "The uh, music stopped."

They let go of each other's hands and looked at each other, smiling sheepishly.

Percy ran his hands through his hair, making it stand up slightly on the sides in different angles. "I guess the party's over. About time, right?" he said.

Annabeth gave him a tight smile.

"So can I have the pleasure of walking you home?"

He sounded so blasé that Annabeth couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Percy initiated another full round of twenty questions as they walked down the deserted hallways.

Annabeth wasn't sure if this was the same game they played a few months ago, because, with doing a little arithmetic on her part, Percy did most of the interrogating. Percy would ask one menial question after another, his eyes straight ahead and with his right hand buried in one of his jean pockets. She was surprised at herself when she would answer and even gesture with her hands. They started talking animatedly when they got to their plans for the future; Annabeth wanted to be an architect _(Probably explains why Rachel always complains about your stack of building sketches draped around the floor, Annabeth)_, and Percy wanted to be a professional swimmer _(So it was you who flooded the bathroom!)_.

Annabeth's forehead creased as Percy kept on asking things like her favorite movies and books. She couldn't imagine anything about her that would interest him. She ranted endlessly when he asked her about her genre of music and his facial expression did not betray any sign of fascination or interest. But his eyes were smiling.

"I didn't know you liked that," he would say, and then fired off another round of questions.

The trip back to room 385 seemed to take longer than usual, and that was saying much. Percy and Annabeth weren't sure if they ever talked this much in their life. The two talked about everything about each other's existence, past, present and future likes and dislikes, occasionally passing through humorous and riveting things. They both felt self-conscious, like they were boring each other one way or another. But the unusual answers _(Oh my gods! You hate cheesecake?)_ and the constant stream of remarks _(His voice stinks, if I should say so)_ coerced both of them to continue.

Annabeth was just asking him about his favorite basketball players when the door to her room opened. Rachel was smirking as she leaned on the door post.

"Well, well, well. Look who just arrived. Oh, and just in time for curfew," she tapped the glass on her wrist watch.

Annabeth rolled her eyes emphatically. "Oh cut the crap, Rachel, and let me in," she said impatiently.

Rachel's smirk went across her face as Annabeth bid goodbye and went inside. Rachel closed the door behind her.

"I see you still have limbs," she told him. "What a surprise."

He grunted in response. "Nothing happened, really."

"And why is Annabeth giggling like a 1980s school girl?"

He snorted. "Annabeth doesn't giggle."

"You might want to know what other people are seeing from the outside, Jackson. Now tell me. Did you or did you not kiss her?"

"I most certainly did not," he replied in an offhand tone. "There was no lip touching whatsoever."

"Not even a single tongue contact?"

Percy made a slightly inaudible growl as Rachel laughed.

"How about you and Nico?" Percy retorted. "You guys did something hardcore?"

Rachel's expression turned scandalous as she smacked him hard on the head.

"Just kidding... And speaking of the devil – "

"Hey, Percy!" Nico waved as he jogged towards the room. "Oh," he stopped short. "Hey, Rachel."

"Hi there, di Angelo. Um, I'll leave you two alone with your business. Goodnight, you guys," she winked slyly at Percy before closing the door.

Nico shook his head before saying, "Rachel's been cryptic with me all night. You've got any idea what she's trying to say?"

Percy shrugged. "She's congratulating me on a night played well. Other than that, no. That's the gist of it."

The younger boy shifted his feet. "Did she say anything about, you know… me?"

"Well, actually she didn't. But don't worry, man. From the looks of it, it seems like she had fun."

Nico gave two sighs of relief. "Thanks."

"So what's going on?"

"Oh," he pointed back to the dark hallway. "Dr. Garses wants us to clean up the place. He's waiting for us. Come on."

* * *

Percy could not believe he was having a wrestling match with a bunch of crepe paper and he was losing.

He cursed as he leveled the red paper over his head and then noticed more tangled yellow ones on his sneakers. He managed to scoop up another and then threw it hastily to a black garbage bag nearby. Almost all the boys were gathered back and were now cleaning up the mess. The clock tolled noisily, gesturing it was three o' clock in the morning.

Nico handed him another garbage bag as his own became full. He tossed discarded crepe paper inside the bag, and placed it next to the eight feet long painting of an unknown landscape. Luke came in a few seconds after and helped Carlo Ramirez with the empty punch bowls and snack trays.

Not noticing, Percy threw a full garbage bag at someone else's face.

"Watch where you're throwing that thing, man!" Justin Holmes, a guy Percy recognized from table five, glowered at him.

"Sorry," Percy apologized. "My bad."

Justin's grimace turned into a sneer. "Hey! Where's that ditzy blonde girlfriend of yours you've been flaunting for months now?"

Percy's whole body grew rigid. He unconsciously let go of the crepe paper he was holding. "Her name's Annabeth Chase," Percy growled. "She's _not_ ditzy. And she's _not_ my _girlfriend_."

Nico instantly shimmered to Percy's side. "Don't listen to him, man," he muttered. "Ignore him. Maybe we should move on with the –"

"Don't interrupt, pipsqueak!" the buff Justin called off. "So, Jackson. I've heard a lot of things. And you do realize how practically true these things can be."

"Get the hell out of here, Holmes," Luke exclaimed, coming towards Percy's defense.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Jackson. What kind of friends do have here, huh? No sign of respect, eh?"

Percy's fist balled tightly. He was starting to see red, and Nico whispered frantically to him. "Don't listen to him!"

"Oh sure," the boy leered, rolling his eyes. "But that Chase girl really is something, eh? Did you know her mom was a prostitute?" He laughed cruelly. "Like mother like daughter. Same old, same old. I gotta say, you should have gotten laid when you had the chance, Jackson. Care to share that Anniebell with me?"

Percy wasn't seeing red anymore. He was seeing black. He was hardly hearing Dr. Garses' yells and feeling Luke and Nico trying to hold him back. His anger overtook him and without regret, he punched Justin Holmes squarely on the face.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know. I'm always leaving you hanging. I'll post the chapter as fast as I can. No worries.**

**Please review!**

**P.S. – thank you all for the support! I can't believe I'm one review away from reaching 200. And thank you to those reviewed my newest oneshot,****_Bloody Perks._********Thanks so much.**


	15. Do You Want To Know A Secret?

**A/N: Hey, guys. Sorry for the wait. I'm really sorry if this chapter would tip you off or anything. I know 67 percent of my readers are fluff lovers, and I apologize if you want them to get into a relationship already or kiss, but I think I'm gonna save that for later. Since the poll is kickin' up, I will make up for, and I quote, 'the lack of Percabeth'. It has been only five months so I don't think I should jump to the romance part. And I think Rick Riordan agrees with me. We waited for like five books until he finally proclaimed Percabeth as a real thing, and I hope that you guys can do the same with me. It's only a few chapters away.** **Besides, hurt/comfort did came before the romance (please see story genre), so yeah.**

**Thank you guys for the support you've given me. I know there are a lot of errors in the first chapters (I promise to fix them after I'm done with this story. I admit there are a lot of things to polish) and I will do my best to make this enjoyable (and realistic) as possible.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 - for the wonderful beta. You totally made me happy for being able to beta and update your own stories (how do you do that, anyway?). Thank you for the boost up and the always wonderful compliments.**

**JordanMathias - remember your review last chapter 11? I thought about it and took your advice. And now, here it is. Thank you for the suggestion. Couldn't have made this chapter without you.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 15: Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Clucking his tongue, Percy fiddled with the small, yellow-orange ball in his hands, bouncing it back and forth across the white walls. The counselor took pity on him, he supposed, and gave him the permission to brood inside the rec room. As the ball's panging sound echoed, Percy tried to recount everything that happened last night and early today. Exhausted by the effort, he stopped bouncing the ball, letting it roll past him, and closed his eyes.

* * *

_"I understand there was an incident this morning. Mind if we talk about it?"_

_Percy gaped at the therapist's shoes. "Would it make any difference if I said yes?"_

_Desiree gave him a rueful smile. "Perceptive."_

_He shifted his weight and straightened himself up before the chair. "Okay. Let's get on with it."_

_"I believe you had a sudden mishap with Mr. Holmes at 3:08 this morning?"_

_"I won't deny it."_

_"You punched him."_

_"He was being a dick."_

_Desiree frowned this time. "Percy, I thought we've talked about this. You need to put your temper on hold. It won't do you any good."_

_"Oh, but I felt good," Percy responded flatly. "Seeing that guy having a big black bruise on his face made me feel much better."_

_"Violence isn't the answer," she told him._

_Percy's eyes flared. "Oh, really? You think I'm just gonna stand there and let his putrid mouth drop insults on Annabeth like that? Holmes deserved it. And you know it. So stop acting like a satirical prude and take my side for once."_

_"I am on nobody's side, Mr. Jackson. You of all people should know that."_

_"You don't know anything about me."_

_Desiree's expression remained impassive. She let Percy's anger seethe for a few minutes before saying, "I know how you feel"_

_She paused for a while. "You feel betrayed."_

_His eyes shifted to confusion. Desiree Fiske's assumption was far off, wasn't it?_

_The therapist continued. "I heard your little debate with Luke and Nico a few hours ago. I apologize for eavesdropping. Apparently, Annabeth told them her history with her mother. They knew about her. And you felt betrayed that she never told you, that you had to know about her mother's misfortune from someone else. You're beginning to doubt the friendship you have with Annabeth. You feel betrayed that she doesn't trust you enough to know about her past. In my point of view, Mr. Holmes was just an outlet."_

_A sharp pang in his stomach made Percy's glass eyes misty. He knew that Annabeth still had a problem with trusting people. He knew that she didn't like talking about her past. But why did Nico and Luke have to be the exception, and not him? He didn't like Annabeth holding something back. It was ridiculous, he thought. Annabeth had nothing to be afraid of; she could tell him anything._

_Maybe Rachel knew. Maybe Thalia knew. Maybe the doctors knew. Maybe the staff knew. Maybe the whole hospital knew._

_Was he the only one that Annabeth found hard to trust?_

_"She trusts you, Percy," Desiree told him, as if reading his mind._

_"She does, doesn't she?" he replied sarcastically._

_"You have to understand that sometimes, there are things that would remain untold. You have to figure things out on your own."_

_Percy averted his gaze towards the window, not answering. Desiree only sighed. "She's afraid that you'll leave her."_

_His whole body snapped back to her. "What did you say?"_

_"She's afraid that you'll leave her."_

_"No, no. I heard that part. But what did you mean she's afraid I'll leave her? Of course, I won't. She knows that. And why is she afraid?" For Percy, Annabeth Chase being afraid of something as ludicrous as that was unfathomable; it was like having two moons in the night sky._

_"In order to understand Annabeth, you need to understand how she thinks."_

_Percy chuckled darkly. "It would take me ages to even get a summary of how her mind works."_

_Desiree's lips formed a small smile. "But understanding this part of her isn't hard to, actually. She's afraid to tell you all this because if you knew about her history, you'll make a run for it."_

_"I wouldn't do that," he grimaced._

_"Ah, but she doesn't know that," she said. "Annabeth's an insightful girl. The problem with her is that she bases boy's thoughts and reactions either from her past experiences with boys or probably from the books she reads. But you, Percy, are not like other males. You are different. Better." Desiree gave him a look of pure sympathy. "She's still trying to figure it out. Give her some time."_

_"I won't leave her."_

_"I know you won't."_

_"Then why does she think that?"_

_Desiree smiled lightly. "She's used to everything in her life disappear before she even knows it. She's afraid of getting too attached, you see. She believes nothing in her life is permanent. And would you, if you have those fears, not be afraid of getting too attached to a person who would probably leave in a matter of months?"_

_He pulled back and clutched the armrest tightly, trying to keep his breathing even. He was stupid. And he often pride himself for being a people person..._

_Of course Annabeth would feel that. It wouldn't even take an ounce of psychoanalysis powers to even get that. Even he, who promised that he would stay by her side at all times, would leave once the doctors gave him the go signal. Rehab could take about three or four months, or even a year, but certainly it can't last forever. Either one of them would have to go._

_And Percy was dreading the moment that he'll be the one saying goodbye first._

_"I made a promise," Percy gulped. "And I have no intention on breaking it."_

_The therapist smiled to herself. "You care about her."_

_Percy made no motion to deny or confirm that. He was tired._

_"She's a fine girl. And in my opinion, she's for keeps."_

_Desiree kept on wagging her eyebrows and nudging him that Percy couldn't help but laugh._

_"And because I am entitled to tell you of my opinion," Desiree told him. "I think it would be best if you told her about yourself, too."_

_Percy slapped his knee and sighed. "I know. I'm being a hypocrite, right?"_

_"Yes."_

_They both chuckled. "Have you been taking those meds I prescribed?"_

_Percy stretched from his chair and stood up. "Yeah," he yawned._

_"I think it's working swimmingly," Desiree mused. Percy's hand was on the doorknob when he spoke. "Thanks, Dr. Fiske."_

_"You're welcome, Percy. But don't expect that your suspension of ice cream privileges will be called void by nightfall."_

_Percy chuckled at that as he closed the door after him._

* * *

"You're an idiot."

Percy didn't bother to open his eyes. He wasn't even surprised that the owner of the voice found him lying flat on his back in the deserted rec room. "Thanks, Annabeth. I think you've made how low my rate of intelligence clear multiple times now."

"Seriously, Percy. What were you thinking? Punching Justin out of the blue like that?"

"So that's what they told you?"

"Oh, yeah," Annabeth's voice fluttered an octave. She was above furious now. "Some random guy was whooping at the hallway and told me, 'Oi! Annabeth! Did you know that Jackson just beat up the hell out of Justin Holmes? Crazy, right?' Crap, Percy. You could've gotten hurt!"

"But I didn't," Percy replied, sounding bored.

"Why are you such a daredevil bastard?"

Percy slowly opened his eyes and instantly met Annabeth's fuming face. Judging from their position, both of them were on the floor; Percy was lying straight on his back with his feet planted on the wall while Annabeth was sitting next to him. In spite of himself, he smiled, thinking about how Annabeth managed to keep her temper in check by not gutting him like a fish.

Her cheeks were on fire. "And now what? You're just gonna keep on smiling like that?" She slapped a hand on her forehead, her shoulders shaking. "Gods, what is wrong with you?"

Percy turned to her. "Did you know what Justin told me?"

Trying hard to compose herself, she shook his head.

"He said some things. To provoke me."

She shifted her butt and leaned on the wall so they were facing each other. "What were those things?"

"He told me your mom's a bitch. And that you are one, too."

"Oh."

The whole room was silent for a moment.

"And then you punched him?" she asked stiffly.

Percy grunted as an answer. "Is it true?"

Annabeth's eyelids plummeted, and she leveled her head with the wall.

"You told Luke and Nico about it. I'm supposing you told Rachel and Thalia, too or even the whole world. But not me," he said, his voice tight. Percy knew his inner intention was to make her feel guilty all about it, that he punched stupid Justin Holmes and got into trouble because of her.

And his deep, nagging conscience was screaming up and down, telling him to stop accusing her. It wasn't her fault. But a huge part of him was screaming that it wasn't fair.

They were friends, right?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Breathing heavily, she opened her eyes and said, "I wanted to tell you this a long time ago. I wasn't sure how to break this to you. I – I'm sorry."

He waited.

"You see, my mom was sort of a big thing back then. She used to be an ambassador of some sort, and she met my dad on one of her trips here in America. He's a state professor and he was discussing the credibility of Russia's armed forces when my mom came over. They got married and had me."

She cleared a lump on her throat before continuing. "I was eight back then, when my dad suspected her of having affairs, and I kept on crying whenever I heard their fights resonating from the thin walls of my room. Most mornings, I'd wake up with the whole living room trashed, and I'd go to school and take tests and eat lunch as if nothing was wrong with my family. As if nothing about us was broken at all."

Percy sat up when he heard Annabeth's voice tremble. She was trying her best not to cry, and she kept avoiding his gaze, sinking her thumbs on her shirt.

"I was ten," her voice quivered as she spoke. "When my dad finally caught my mom with another man. The man was one of my mom's colleagues. My mom cried with me that night. She told me she loved me and my dad very much. She was just… unhappy with the life she was leading. She didn't want me to grow up without a real, strong mom and she didn't want my dad to suffer anymore. After signing the divorce papers, she left on the spot.

It wasn't… It wasn't until much later that we heard from her after three years."

Annabeth wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek with the back of her hand. Percy fleeted towards her side and said, "It's okay, Annabeth," he hushed. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

She shook her head. "I'm fine. I didn't mean to cry. I'm just… tired."

"It's okay. You can rest if you want."

"No," she mumbled. "I want to tell you now. I'm not gonna hold anything back from you anymore."

Percy let her words sink in for a moment before leaning his head on the wall, matching Annabeth's position.

"My mom had a little run in with a couple of hitters in Miami. Her best friend was a prostitute and my mom came to pick her up. She got… involved in a raid. She got shot when the whole place turned into a riot. And so, well… you can predict the rest that happened." She paused for a while, considering. "I'm not sure how Justin knew about that."

"But he's wrong," Percy stated. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your mom wasn't a prostitute."

"Does it matter?" She inclined her head; her eyes were rimmed with red. "That's the thing with rumors, right? Gossip turns about and people stretch the truth. I'm used to it, though. A few months back, I was defending my mom, talking trash to my dad whenever he flaunted his new wife in my face. But now, I'm beginning to doubt if my mom ever did love us."

"She does. I'm sure of it," he claimed.

"How can you possibly know?"

"Well, you did say she left because she couldn't stand being the reason why you cry at night and why your dad was always miserable. If she didn't love you or your dad, she could've kept on having affairs with other guys and sucking the life out of you without remorse. But she did have remorse."

Annabeth sighed and wiped away another batch of streaming tears that flowed from her eyes. "I really wish that was true."

Inside the smartass, tough girl act, Annabeth was just as young as he was. A kid with doubts and unfulfilled dreams. A kid who never had a chance to be a real kid with a real childhood experience. If he never understood Annabeth before, he did now.

"You miss her, don't you?"

She paused for a while. "Yeah," she answered. "Yeah, I do."

"You know, you're lucky you had a chance to get to know your mother. I haven't met my dad. Not once," his eyes trailed against the ceiling. "My mom kept telling me that he got lost at sea. Just lost at sea, not really dead. Or so, that's what my mom keeps on telling to me and to herself."

"Is she afraid to accept the truth?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. She says she can feel it." And then, Percy laughed. "It's stupid, really, why I want to become a professional swimmer someday."

Annabeth joined him, chuckling. "I can see the irony," she agreed.

They fell silent again, though it wasn't as awkward as it should have be. While Annabeth was toning down her ragged breathing, Percy kept running his hand through his messy, raven hair.

"I dated a girl," Percy blurted out. "Once."

Annabeth's eyes bulged, and she feigned a surprised look. "No way."

"Uh-huh," he nodded. "And it went terribly."

"Who's the unlucky girl?"

He rolled his eyes and frowned, and Annabeth laughed at that. "Her name's Calypso. She moved to my school a few years ago and we dated when we were both fifteen."

"She must be pretty," It wasn't a question. "I mean, if she caught your eye like that."

Percy did not detect any malice or teasing on her tone. He was blushing when he looked at her. "Yes," he admitted, gazing into her deep gray eyes. "She is."

She smiled back and then stared straight ahead. "So… what happened?"

"Oh, she got knocked up at a party and accused me as the dad. And because her dad was high-profile or something, the story reached the court and everything Calypso sued me for was disproved. So, yeah. Everything in my life went downhill from there."

"I'm sorry," Annabeth said.

"Nah, it's okay," he shrugged. "My life was a mess even before that. It just went worse when I picked a fight with a schoolmate of mine, gotten detention, left school late, and got bribed by a couple of drug dealers on my way home."

Annabeth thought about it for a moment and threw the ping pong ball beside her across the room. "I don't know whose life is worse – mine or yours."

"It's a tie, I think," Percy told her and they both laughed for real. Their stomachs and lungs heaved at the same time as they sighed.

"Do you trust me?" Annabeth asked abruptly, filling in the silence. "Even after all I've done to you?"

He turned to face Annabeth, her eyes full of question and hope. He only had one answer.

"Yeah, of course."

They smiled at each other.

"How 'bout you? Do you trust me?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Now, more than ever."

"So, no more secrets?"

Annabeth bumped her shoulder against his ribs. "You know me too well for me to be keeping secrets. Moot point."

"Pinkie swear?"

At that, Annabeth laughed out loud, and Percy laughed out loud. Their fingers intertwined, and it felt like it was the beginning of the whole world all over again.

* * *

There were only four of them at the table when dinner came.

Percy kept wondering where Thalia and Luke were. Ever since he saw Thalia break down at the party last night on Luke's shoulder, he'd been dying to know what was wrong. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen the two all day. He voiced his worries to the others, and then all faces grew dim.

"Thalia can't come because she isn't feeling well," Annabeth said in a small voice, keeping her eyes straight at her unappealing meal. She cut a small slice of her cold cuts and placed it in her mouth. "She's going through a lot."

"What about Luke, then?"

Rachel and Nico exchanged glances before turning their attention towards Percy. Rachel bit her lip and dropped her fork. She looked up and met Percy's eyes, and in that instant, he knew what was coming.

Rachel's green eyes were far off and misty.

"Luke is leaving."

* * *

**A/N: ****Thanks for reading. Review please.**


	16. Deviation

**A/N: ****Thanks for all the support you've given me. I'll try to update a little more faster than my usual pace.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 - for the always amazing beta. I'm sorry for stressing you out these days. I promise I'll tone down my making mistakes in this story so that you won't have an awful time. And thank you for updating your own story. Man, I was dying to know what would happen next.**

**SoccerGirl8 - for the story suggestion. It got me more inspired to make more stories.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 16: Deviation

The clucking, squeaking noise of Luke's sneakers absorbed the emptiness of the hallways. He clutched the paper in his hand tightly. Making a sharp turn to his left, he scrambled, almost losing his footing. The hallway floors today were quite shiny, sleek and slippery. He was going to miss these floors.

Turning to the rec room, his eyes bulged. Through the glass doors, he could see all his friends, his shrink, the whole hospital, waiting for him inside. He took a deep breath and pushed through the doors.

"We wanted to surprise you," Desiree Fiske, Luke's psychiatrist for almost a year and a half, told him, grinning cheekily.

"Yeah, we did," Silena Beauregard said to him softly. "But thinking about it, we thought it was stupid. Nothing can surprise you."

He chuckled and looked around him. Streamers tangled on the ceiling. Crepe paper adorned the ceilings and the huge windows. The ping pong table was pushed to the farther south of the room and was being used to place all the delicious food. All around him, people were smiling. Even with those huge grins, Luke couldn't make himself smile.

He was going to miss them dearly.

"What took you so long, man?" Nico called to him. "Will got here first, and he can't even walk!"

Sounds of laughter pealed across the room. Will and Luke would be leaving first thing tomorrow, and as a tradition, Riverdale threw a party for their last day of reception called Dispatchment Day or D-day for short.

Will sat on his wheel chair, and, to Luke's utter amazement, was chatting with Annabeth.

"I know. Really strange, right?" Percy muttered to Luke's ear, holding his cup of punch. "Someone who has been mute, physically challenged and shut out from the rest of the world can't possibly slip back to society in two years time."

Luke nodded. "And why is he talking to Annabeth of all people?"

Percy took a sip of his punch. He looked up and smirked. "Annabeth used to play the piano for him. They grew close."

"Oh," Luke's eyebrows raised a fraction. "Hmm… Well, then. I think you're up for a competition against Will now, huh?"

At that, Percy choked on his drink and Luke laughed. Wiping the drink dripping from his chin with his sleeve, Percy glared at him. Luke only raised his hands slowly at mock surrender.

"I'm just saying," Luke chuckled.

Percy just rolled his eyes and Luke patted him on the back. "Ow!" Percy yelped as he found his head being strangled underneath the older boy's arms.

"I can't believe I'm gonna miss messing with ya!" Luke slapped Percy's head.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling the love," came Percy's muffled voice. Luke let him go and they both laughed, making an imaginary toast with their almost empty cups. Then Luke got hauled to a group of guys, patting him on the back and giving him guy hugs, telling him how they would surely miss the kleptomaniac who would start a new life in a few days.

After some haggling, Luke was turned over to the girls. He got showered with hugs and smelled a gallon of perfume, got spring kissed on his cheeks as they told him that the place wouldn't be the same without him.

"I mean, who would style your hair if you'd leave?" Silena pouted at him. Luke and Silena got in the hospital at the same month, and they were one of the oldest in the group. Silena was introduced to him by Charles Beckendorf, and the two grew to become close friends. She enveloped him in a hug.

"Hey, Castellan," a familiar voice cut in his head and he let go of Silena and turned to the owner of those blue eyes. Luke thought about his eyes and hers; his shade of blue was more of a cerulean one, while Thalia's was a deeper, electrifying color. He smiled, thinking about how he would miss seeing those eyes.

Thalia rolled her eyes at him. "How come you gave them those hugs and all that, when I can't get even a single hello? Really, I'm hurt."

Luke laughed and encased her in his hugs, pulling her waist closer to him.

"Better?" Luke asked her, muttering in her ear.

It was too much for Thalia to handle.

She buried her head in his shoulders, sniffling back her tears. She breathed in his scent deeply. Her tears now went fluttering out of her eyes uncontrollably, and she became afraid that she would wet Luke's jacket again.

But when Luke rubbed her back in circles, Thalia knew that she had nothing to be afraid of.

She felt everyone's eyes on them and she resurfaced, her eyes rimmed with red. Being surrounded with the sea of sympathetic faces made Thalia break down a little harder, and Luke had to mutter more words of encouragement and rub circles on her back again.

"I can't believe you're gonna leave me – leave us like that," Thalia sniffed.

"Don't worry," Luke told her. "I'll come visit you sometime. I promise."

Thalia buried her head on his shoulder once again, tears streaming again. "Can you believe that I'm crying over something as stupid as this?"

She felt Luke's whole body shook as she heard a muted chortle from his mouth. "Yeah. I'll miss you too."

* * *

Everyone was gathered around as Will played one of Chopin's nocturnes with a Cello his cousin brought to him when he got admitted. He never had the urge to play with it until now.

All of their faces remained passive as their heads moved along with the melody, their minds wandering to a place where they wanted to be.

* * *

Almost everyone was out, shuffling towards the door when Desiree called for Luke.

Luke's eyebrows furrowed as Desiree smiled, handing him a VCR tape. Inscribed at the top was his name written in elegant script. All of the remaining occupants of table three gathered around and goggled at the tape Luke held in his hand.

"You can watch it here in the rec room if you like," Desiree told him.

And with that, she pulled the glass door and left.

A moment of silence followed.

"What's in the tape?" Annabeth asked.

Luke shrugged. "I dunno. Better watch it, I guess."

"Has anyone seen Percy?" Nico quipped. "He's been gone for like an hour ago."

"I'm here!" Percy pushed the glass door in front of him, panting and hugging his knees with his hands as he approached. "I'm –*pant* - here."

Thalia raised an eyebrow. "And now you drop on us looking like hell, Jackson. Where have you been?"

"I just... – ah! My lungs are gonna burst, oh gods, please help me," Percy doubled over and panted and wheezed and wiped the sweat on his forehead.

Annabeth, Luke, and Nico laughed, whereas Thalia only rolled her eyes and smirked.

"I went to… I -," the black-haired boy straightened himself up. "I went to visit Rachel for a little while. Came to give her meds."

They all shared looks. "Is she doing okay?" Annabeth inquired.

"Uh," Percy thought about the frizzy, redhead screaming as her night terrors overtook her, her white sheets covered with the blood gushing from her mouth as she chewed hard on it. He thought about her green eyes glowing sickeningly at the harsh light, fighting dreams and illusions that clouded her.

When he opened his mouth to confess the whole sordid tale, the only words that fell out are, "Oh yeah. She's cool."

They all stood there, absorbed with their own thoughts and concerns.

Only Percy and Thalia ever visited Rachel. Nico couldn't stand being inside a sunlit room, Rachel reminded Annabeth of Cleverlyn all over again. And Luke was, after all, leaving.

Percy broke the silence. He pointed at the tape. "What's that?"

Luke, remembering the tape in his hand, plugged it into the player and they all sat together, waiting for anything to pop out of the screen.

And then, Luke's heart came to a stop. His breathing became shallow and it was like Will Solace was playing his Cello again as memories came flooding back to him like a riptide.

Her glass eyes were staring straight at him. "Hello, Luke."

His blue eyes became misty as the others stared at him, wondering who the strange woman on the screen was.

His voice broke as he spoke. "Mom?"

The woman at the screen smiled as if she heard him. She adjusted the camera that was in front of her, making the scene on the screen shake a little. "I just wanted to know how you are doing in there. The uh, the medical staff of the uh…Oakturn Riverdale Psychiatric Hospital," she read the name written on a crumpled piece of paper. "Told me that the university you entered er… admitted you. There, I mean."

Luke's head throbbed and his heart banged in his chest almost painfully. His mother knew where he was.

"So I um, I just wanted you to know that I hope that you're doing fine. That I'm praying for you to get healthy again. I hope that, in all those times, you didn't get into too much trouble as they make it sound. I hope that, after all this, you might want to come back home." Ms. Castellan wiped her shedding tears with the back of her hand as she spoke. "I'm a terrible mother, I know. After the divorce, I wasn't the same. I'm sorry for abandoning you. It's just that… I don't know what I am turning into anymore. I don't know who I was, who I should be or who mattered to me – and I blamed it all on your father. I thought that if I blamed it all on him, everything would make sense. But it didn't."

Her mother's words rang loud and clear in Luke's ears. He spent most of his years running away from the world and blaming everything bad that happened to him on his mom.

But like her, Luke's life didn't make any more sense than hers.

"Would you forgive me, Luke? For everything?" Ms. Castellan continued. "Would you come back even if I told you that I'm broke and jobless and I'm struggling with everything that I still have? Because all I can do right now is hope. Because all I can do right now is to hope that you would come back and tell me how horrible a mother I was to you. To hope that I would get to see that adorable boy I left hanging all these years grow up into a man I have always wanted to have as a son."

Ms. Castellan's tears were now streaming down her cheeks like they had been backlogged for so many years.

"Goodbye, Luke. I hope I'll see you soon," she sniffled.

And the screen went black.

* * *

"Why?" Luke asked as he snuggled uneasily in his bean bag, the bean bag he sat on for sixteen months in his stay. This would be the last time the bean bag would frustrate his butt again.

Realizing that his question was dangling, he continued. "Why did you give it to me just now? That tape dated back to ten months ago. Why now?"

"Because," Desiree paused for a while, tapping her fountain pen with her hand. "You were still different ten months ago. I had to wait."

"Wait? Wait for what?"

"For you to become what you are now. I figured that if I gave it to you yesterday, or the day before that, or the month after that, or in that same day when I received that tape, your reaction to all this would have been different. You would've not taken your mother's message as calmly as you are now. Time makes all the changes."

"And now," Desiree stood up and poured coffee into two cups. She handed her patient a cup and took the other. She sipped mutedly, took her seat and continued, "What would be your response to her?"

Luke stopped fidgeting. What would be his response? It had been years since he actually lived with her mother. Ten months ago, he still blamed his mom. Ten months ago, he was still angry at her for abandoning him. Ten months ago, he would've flat out refused.

Time really makes all the changes.

"I guess I'll be coming back again. To Connecticut, I mean."

Desiree beamed at him. "Wise choice, Mr. Castellan. Wise choice."

Luke grinned back at her. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm actually gonna miss you, doc." They both stood up and shared a hug, trying not to burn each other's skin with their hot drinks. When Desiree pulled back, her eyes were shining with joy and pride. Luke was her first patient and it hurt to see him go. But, as all psychiatrists like her would feel, she felt glad that the manically depressed kleptomaniac she used to know was finally trying to find his place in this world.

"Your leaving doesn't exemplify that you've healed wholly," she whispered. "You're still healing, I suppose. But you're getting there. You're almost finished." She hugged him again and smiled. "I'm really proud of you, Mr. Castellan. You're setting a good example to all of the patients here."

"Thank you, Dr. Fiske," Luke said, thanking her whole heartedly.

"Don't hesitate to drop by and visit once in a while. I want to hear all about your little adventures when you get back from college," Desiree winked and Luke laughed merrily, closing the door behind him.

And this time, Luke didn't leave the room screaming profanities at the top of his mental lungs. Tonight, Luke was leaving the room with a smile plastered on his face, the deep gash on his heart slowly started to close.

* * *

"Rachel?" Luke's voice echoed across the seemingly empty room. The silvery moon provided enough light for him to make out a girl staring blankly at space near her bed. She sat up in response.

He closed the door with a slight creaking sound and he noticed how his sneakers squeaked loudly. The whole room was deprived of stuff, except for the bed. Completely deserted.

He sat on her bed, the mattress sinking at the added weight. "How are you doing?"

"I've been better," Rachel told him with a sigh.

"How long will you be in here?"

"Until I get better, I suppose. Indefinite. But the hallucinations are getting worse." She shook her head lightly, trying to banish the visions in her mind.

At that, Luke didn't answer. He just reached out for her hand, and the dreary air seemed to lift up between the two of them.

He could smell the metallic scent of blood on her sheets and he squeezed her hand. "You'll be okay. I promise."

Rachel laid her head down again and flashed him a small smile. "You were always the strong one. I guess, now that you'll leave, you'll have to pass that strength to one of us, Luke."

She closed her eyes and sighed dreamily. "You're gonna be happier than you ever were, Luke. I can see it."

"Well. Aren't you a fortune teller or what?"

Rachel chuckled. "I can't believe you're going to leave tomorrow morning. And I can't even be there to see you off."

"Don't worry. I'll send you a postcard."

"I'll be expecting that."

He smiled. "Miss you."

"Miss you, too," she croaked.

He squeezed her hand reassuringly one last time before he got up and left.

* * *

It was ten o'clock the next morning.

Luke stared at the faces before him. He hated to be the first one to come and to be the first one to leave. He hated to see the flashes of hurt that crossed his friends' faces as he took each step away from the lobby. But now, he had to let go.

Annabeth stood between Percy and Nico, choking down a sob with all her might. Luke opened his arms and without hesitation, Annabeth rushed and hugged him.

"Thank you for being there for me, Annabeth," Luke muttered.

Annabeth closed her eyes to prevent the tears that were threatening to surface. "You were always the big brother to me," she sniffled.

Luke let her go and pulled back those stray blond hairs that covered her wet, gray eyes. "And you were the little sister that I've always wanted to have."

He gave her his hanky and Annabeth blew her runny nose with it. "I'll be coming to get that back. Without the snot, of course."

Annabeth let out a weak laugh and nodded.

Percy and Nico stepped up and gave each other hugs. "Take care of the girls for me."

"Will do. I promise," Nico vowed.

Percy patted him on the shoulder. "Take care of yourself, man."

Luke nodded tersely and focused his eyes back to the spike-haired girl with electrifying blue eyes set on a pale face. Much to his surprise, Thalia wasn't crying any more than she did when he told her of his departure or when they hugged each other yesterday at his farewell party. Today, no hot, wet tears passed from her eyes. She was being strong today. And that was just what Luke wanted her to be as he left.

Of all the patients, Luke had been attached to Thalia Grace much more than he could ever realize. They had spent a great deal of time together even before Percy, Annabeth, Rachel and Nico came, and now it was time for Luke to cut all of the strings.

Again, they embraced each other. But this time, they were ready.

He gave her a smile, the saddest of all smiles. But maybe, it would not be his last. "I'll see you again," Luke said. He remembered his conversation with Rachel last night and he added, "You'll have to be the strong one, Thalia."

Thalia nodded. "I won't forget."

"Do you have anything to say to me? Any last words or so?"

"Come on, Luke," Thalia whined. "You're totally making it harder than it already is."

They all laughed.

Abruptly, Thalia buried her head in Luke's chest.

Luke sighed. "I'm gonna miss this."

After three grueling seconds, Thalia resurfaced and punched him in the arm. "Now get going and get your life back."

Luke laughed and swung his duffel bag to his shoulder. He bid them all farewell. "See you later, guys!"

Thalia, Nico, Percy and Annabeth waved as Luke took a couple of nimble steps, finally crossing the invisible line dividing the hospital and the outside world.

* * *

**A/N: ****I got so attached to Luke I even made oneshot about him with 7k words. It's still with my BR, so I guess I would be publishing it soon.**

**I had a Percabeth marathon yesterday and I'm kind of ashamed that I've prolonged Percabeth this long. Well, I promise I'll kick up the romance next chapter. You just wait.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews guys! I know I rarely reply because of my hectic schedule. I want to tell you that I very much honor everything you say.**

**Please review!**


	17. Reality Lies

**A/N: I've realized that all of my writings are bad, horrible, atrocious, ghastly, unspeakably horrendous… Somebody smack me with a thesaurus until I start sobbing in melodrama. Everything is equated to rubbish. Even though I'm fourteen, and I've only started writing for six months, I don't think my age and undeniable lack of experience are somewhat of an excuse to all of my embarrassing stories. But I figure I should keep on writing because maybe someday – in a month, year or maybe a lifetime – I would somehow get the hang of it and improve. I don't regret any of my posts, though they are humiliating, because my mistakes would eventually lead me to the right answers.**

**Sorry for that. I promise I won't make any more long notes. I just needed to get it out of my chest.**

**Question: Why I made this chapter?**

**Answer: Newfound respect for Rachel Elizabeth Dare.**

**Probably zero point five percent of my readers actually wondered about what happened to Rachel so I decided to throw this in. Don't worry. I'm not leaving Percabeth off in this.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 – for the remarkable beta reading. This story is about to end, and I'm proud to say that this author has stuck with me through thick and thin. Thank you for the support and everything else that would probably make this note so obscenely long that I think I don't have to type it all down.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 17: Reality Lies

"Come in," Rachel said in a raspy voice at the knocks on her door. The door swung open and Rachel turned over to see who her visitors were.

She laughed groggily to disguise the shock in her expression. "Didn't expect you guys to be here."

"It's been three weeks, Rach," Nico pursed his lips. "Can't we come in and chat?"

Rachel sat up and patted on the side of her bed. "Careful. You might sit on the chicken eggs. I'm trying to keep them warm since Mother Hen left them."

Thalia and Nico exchanged glances and both sat at the very edge of the bed, trying really hard not to squish Rachel's hallucination-based eggs.

"Why did this… uh… mother hen leave you the eggs?" Thalia asked in a quiet voice. Nico raised his eyebrows at her. Nico suddenly noticed how calm and sympathetic Thalia was being. He saw her finally taking her pills every now and then. Strange as it was, he knew that, after Luke's departure, it was an improvement.

Rachel shrugged with a frown on her face. "You know mothers. They're too busy or too screwed up to even care about their children."

They all visibly flinched.

Nico coughed. "Um... you do know it's a hallucination, right?"

"You mean, you can't see them?"

"Uh. Not really, no."

Rachel shook her head and sighed. "I'm getting more and more delusional each day that I can't even tell which is real and which is not." She turned to them with her hazy, green glass eyes. "You guys are... real, right?"

"Of course we are," Nico exclaimed, pinching his arm. "Look. Real flesh. We're very much alive."

"That's what my hallucinations would say," Rachel replied glumly. Her eyelids were rimmed with violet, almost bruise-like.

Thalia stood up and took a small bottle from her black vest pocket. "Desiree told us to bring you this. Drink up, Rachel."

Rachel gazed at the bottle for a few seconds before shaking her head. "I'm not taking that," she shook her head. "That's the thing that's been giving me the night terrors. It makes my soul numb."

"I'm sorry, Rach," Nico said. "But Desiree told me that you have to take it, no matter how much you refuse."

"You can't let me have medications that I don't want to take," she replied weakly, coughing.

"It's... gonna help you with your cough," Thalia urged.

"Take off the lid."

"What?" Thalia questioned.

"I said, Take off the lid."

The older girl submitted and twisted the cap open, revealing to Rachel what was inside. Rachel shook her head even more. "That's not for cough. My cough medicines are small, circular, yellow pills. Those are blue with numbers on them. Tell Desiree I don't want to take Clorazine."

Thalia placed the blue pills labeled with 5216 on them at the counter. She noticed the small drawer with a pitcher and drinking glass that wasn't there before her last visit and she spilled water in it, handing them to Rachel. "You have to take it, Rachel. It's for your own good."

Angrily, Rachel sat up and swatted the glass with the back of her hand. The glass shattered as it met the floor with an ear-splitting thump. Water oozed from the broken glass. Nico glanced frantically to and fro, worrying that Thalia would lose control on her temper. Surprisingly, Thalia held her ground.

"You need to take this if you want to get better. If you want to leave this dump, you'd better drink up."

"Don't you think I've had enough of this?" Rachel glared at her. "Do you think I'm getting better with every, single, god forsaken pill?"

"You were getting better until you stopped taking them a month ago."

"Is it any of your business what I want and not want to take, Grace?" Rachel spat and Thalia glared back at her when she said her last name.

"Look here, _Dare_," Thalia scathed. "It might not be my goddamn business what medications you're supposed to take, but not having you turn into a corpse inside this hell hole every single day seems to be everyone's best interest at heart. You might as well be stuck in a rubber room for all your insanity, eating your guts alive."

"I'm sorry, really. But I'm not taking any more of that trash."

Nico took her hand and gradually pulled away. "You're burning up, Rachel. We need to get your fever down. You have to take those pills – "

"I am not taking them," Rachel told them with much force. She glared at him, and then at Thalia. "You think I like pills being shoved down my throat?"

"I know it's hard – "

"How can you possibly know, huh?" Rachel shrieked. "How can you possibly know? Have you ever been haunted by things that weren't even there? Been visited by animals? Talked to them? Hijacked by visions and seeing the future? Tell me! How can you possibly know?"

Rachel's eyes started to dam with tears. "Don't you _dare_ tell me that you know how it feels like. You have no idea how it feels. You've never experienced what I've been going through."

Nico and Thalia stood there, frozen and admittedly, scared. It was the first time Rachel ever lost her temper in front of them. Percy and Annabeth were right. Rachel needed some serious help.

"We don't," Nico finally answered. "We're just trying to sympathize – "

"Well, you're putting your sympathy in the wrong place," Rachel cut in. She laid her head on top of the pillow and closed her eyes. "I don't need your sympathy. I don't need you to come and check on me every hour and bring my meds. I don't need you scrambling on your knees and telling me that you know how difficult it is and all that phony crap. I just want you to be here with me. Silently."

Thalia and Nico's eyes met again, an understanding passing through them like a current. Nico just sat on Rachel's bed and Thalia stood by her side, the blue pills tight between her clasped fingers. They let the silence envelop them for a moment.

When nobody spoke, Rachel sighed. "Thank you. Thank you for coming here. Really, I mean it. And I'm sorry. It's just that… I don't want you guys to worry about me anymore. I'm every bit as hopeless as Cleverlyn Spencer was."

"Trust me," Thalia spoke. "You are not as hopeless as you make yourself to be. You're gonna be okay. We promised Luke that we'd take care of you."

"I'm sorry to hear about Luke," Rachel breathed. "It's been three weeks since he's gone."

Nico smiled. "He's gonna be alright. One day, you'll be stepping out of the lobby as a heroic bastard like he did."

"There's no way I'm gonna get out of here," Rachel tossed and turned to face the blank wall. "I'm gonna rot in this place, all because I'm nuts and I let those crooks get away with eight hundred thousand dollars of my dad's company."

"Your parents already forgave you for that one," Nico claimed.

"I doubt they really did."

"They admitted you here so you'd get better."

"Parents suck."

Thalia sighed heavily. There was no point arguing about whose parents sucked worse. She stared at the open window. The sunlight was brimming down the room with much brightness and Thalia worried a little that Nico might start freaking out like he did the last time he tried to visit. She looked at Nico and he just gave her a tight smile.

_Go for it,_ he mouthed, pointing at Rachel.

Her gaze went back at the mess of Rachel's frizzy red hair. Thalia fiddled with the pills on her hand. She thought of a response and said, "Yeah. My parents suck, too. But the good thing is that you've got us, now. So don't say that you're every bit as hopeless as Spencer was because you are not like her." She smiled. "And don't you dare kill yourself off the way she did. Because you've got your own family right here."

She placed the blue pills in her hand on the wooden flat of the cabinet. "I'll be leaving these here if you change your mind." She got up and closed the door with Nico trailing behind her.

"Hey," Rachel called, her voice croaking again.

Nico's hand was on the knob when he twirled to face her.

Rachel stared at him eerily. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"You know, there's this guy," she said offhandedly. "He's a friend of mine."

Nico eyed her quizzically. He moistened his lips. "What about this guy?"

"He's pretty nice. He has dark hair and olive skin," at that Rachel smiled the smallest of smiles. "He came in here, even though he's afraid of the sunlight emanating from the windows in this room. So, is there a rational or maybe, uhm, a hypothetical reason that he managed to gather up his guts and visit me, or am I just hallucinating about this said guy?"

"Oh, I don't think you're hallucinating," he grinned. "He's real, alright. Maybe there's just… something about you that made this guy face his fear."

With that, Nico closed the door behind him with a clunk.

* * *

Nico practically ran towards the elevator to catch up with Thalia. A small smirk dangled on her lips when Nico dashed to open up the closing doors and went inside the elevator shaft. He pushed the number three on the dial as the doors closed.

Thalia cursed at the awful version of Neil Diamond's songs playing at the background.

"You did great back there. Handling Rachel, I mean," Nico started.

Thalia shrugged. "Well, what do you know… I guess I've taken a huge liking for that red-head nut bag."

"I mean, seriously. You didn't even lose your temper or claw those shards of glass back at her face. I half-expected you to. But you didn't," Nico nudged her. "And for that, I am grateful. I would've peed my pants if that really happened."

Thalia laughed, and Nico decided that he liked her. Or at least, he liked the sound of her laughter more than the sound of her shrieks whenever she threw one of her tantrums.

"Say, you've been acting very different lately," he concluded. She hadn't been the same since Luke left. And, with a small twist in his stomach, Nico realized that Thalia was starting to get better. "Not that it's a bad thing. You've been taking everything so… calmly."

She threw him another smirk. "And it's scaring the hell out of you. Am I right?"

Nico crinkled his nose and she chuckled. The elevator let out a ding and they both stepped out of the shaft as the doors opened widely for them.

Thalia beamed at him. "Let's just say I like being the strong one in my life."

* * *

Desiree handed her the films and shrank back to her seat. She watched her as she flipped through the pictures.

"I'm not getting any of this," Rachel told her.

Desiree smiled ruefully and pointed at the picture of her brain. "Your MRI revealed that there's severe hemorrhaging on the cerebral cortex. Mostly on the outer layer of it."

"So you're saying that this is the reason why I kept on bleeding from my mouth?"

"Yes. From your mouth and your nose. The discharge on your cerebral cortex also explains more than those bleedings." She held up the films higher so Rachel could see them more clearly. "The portion right here is bloated and there's a lot of neuron reconstruction."

Looking at Rachel's befuddled expression, she explained further. "The cerebral cortex is where memories are stored. The cortex is now – what do you call it? – er, jammed. It's like a city that's overloaded. Your brain has no choice but to reprogram itself. Did you get the gist of it, Ms. Dare?"

Rachel's eyes gazed at the MRI. Evidence that her brain was dying. That _she_ was dying.

"Yeah," she said automatically.

"Schizophrenia is one of the results of cerebral cortex malfunction. A symptom along with your nausea, bleeding, and anger spells," Desiree placed the black films on the counter and leaned closer to Rachel. Her hazel eyes locked with Rachel's green ones, asking for her full attention. "These visions, all of the things you're seeing… These are memories, Rachel. Your brain is making all these illusions from all the things that you so tried to forget. Your childhood, your dreams – "

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel responded.

"Yes you do, Rachel," Desiree said. "You are not seeing the future. You believe you are, but you're not. You're now seeing your favorite cartoon character when you were eight. You told me that you can hear your dead best friend, Delilah's, voice whispering in your ear late at night. And you're saying that there's a big, pink elephant across the room that's named Tracy, which is what your parents told me was the name of your stuffed toy elephant that they threw out when you turned eleven. These are lodged memories from your past. There are reasons why these things are starting to haunt you again. You need to change."

Rachel's eyes flared murderously. "You can't change people without destroying what they were before."

"We do not intend to destroy. We change people because we are making them even better than they ever where," Desiree retorted. "This is our job. And in your case, we are trying to revive your past and make you accept it before you start hoping and wallowing on futures and prophecies instead of the other way around."

Desiree's eyebrows furrowed. "You can't face your future if you won't accept your past."

Rachel cried.

"I can't... understand why this is happening to me," her voice broke in the middle. "They're things from the past. I want to forget them."

"But these things from the past don't want to stay in the past," Desiree said soothingly.

With a big lump on her throat, Rachel only nodded.

"Things from the past greatly influence your future, Ms. Dare. But we don't let it govern our whole lives, of course. We accept them. And then we let go."

Desiree handed her a permit from her clipboard. "You're entitled for surgery tomorrow. Your parents approved the treatment," she patted her hand. "They'll be here tomorrow. They want you to get better."

Again, Rachel just nodded and stared at the empty space above her head.

Desiree handed her a drinking glass. "Do you want to get better, Ms. Dare?"

Her green eyes snapped back at her. "Yeah," Rachel responded after a minute's pause. She sniffed and wiped her tears with her sleeve. She slowly wrapped her fingers on the glass. "I want to get better."

Desiree took the bottle from the counter, spilled a blue pill in her hand and handed them to Rachel. "We've already done our share. Now it's time to do yours."

Albeit reluctantly, Rachel dug her fingers into Desiree's hand. She chugged the water, along with the pill, down her throat.

Nico hesitated before he asked, "Do you really think she'll be getting better?"

"I am hoping she will. Desiree told me that there's no actual cure for schizophrenia but the medications would help her cope with it."

"You've got to be kidding me," Nico muttered before he drank his water. "There's no actual cure?"

Thalia cocked her eyebrows and sprinkled salt on her food. "What? There's like tons of human illnesses that can't be cured but can be treated. Like Percy's dyslexia for example."

"But that's dyslexia. Those two are different. Schizophrenia has been around a lot longer – three thousand years ago – and doctors should have figured out a way to treat people who get those stupid hallucinations by now. As for dyslexia, most people couldn't even read three thousand years ago."

She rolls her eyes. "I think you should ask those inept doctors why they're taking such a long time to make such a medicine."

"Well, hey. Three thousand years is a long time."

"And hey, three thousand years ago philosophers treated schizophrenics by fumigation on the vagina," Thalia interjected. "You think Rachel would be comfortable with that treatment?"

"Of course not," Nico exclaims, his cheeks reddening. "I'm just saying that maybe there's an alternative besides the pills."

"Well, the doctors today think that the pills are a much better alternative. They disagree on their predecessors' idea that hearing voices is a result of the malposition of the uterus – "

Nico winced. "What is with you women thinking that men are comfortable with you talking about your parts?"

" – And now we've got lobotomies, rubber rooms, electric shocks… all those things could be a possible alternative. And so, if you were Rachel, which would you pick? Clorazine or physical torture?"

Nico stayed silent and humbly ate his sandwich. Reminding herself to control her temper, Thalia settled to be gentle.

"Sorry. I'm lashing out on you. I'm worried about Rachel too. But she'll be okay. She promised us that she will."

Nico nodded and removed the pickles in his sandwich. Thalia just sighed and drank her calming tea.

"Thalia?" he said, breaking the silence.

She peered at him, gnawing on her steak. "What?"

"Who's the idiot who proposed that fumigation thing?"

* * *

After eight loud knocks on her door, Annabeth groaned and flopped up from her bed. Whoever was banging on her door during curfew hours must have been crazy.

She swung open the door and rolled her eyes.

"Why am I not surprised," she sighed. "What is it this time, Percy?"

His hand flew to his nape. "Well, I, um… Just wanted to stop by and – "

"Goodnight, Percy," she started to close the door but Percy blocked his foot on the post. "What's supposed to be the problem?" she asked, annoyed. "It's already nine o' clock. The warden is doing his rounds right now."

"Don't worry about the warden," he took out two tickets from his pocket and handed one to her. "I got us overnight passes."

Annabeth stared at the ticket and eyed him warily. "How did you get the overnight passes?" she questioned. "Why are we sneaking out?"

Percy hushed her. "Look. We are not sneaking out. That's why we have the overnight passes, duh. I traded my two months of rec room privileges for two of them. Fiske gave them to me."

Annabeth gave him a confused look. "Why on earth did you trade your rec room privileges for two passes? That's crazy. And why are you giving me one? You could have just gotten two passes for two nights all for yourself – "

"Because I wanted you to come with me tonight. There's something I wanted to show you."

"What is it, then?"

Much to her surprise, Percy just took her hand and pulled her out of the room. He zoomed past the hallway rooms filled with sleeping patients with a disoriented and grumpy Annabeth flailing behind him.

"Where are we going?" she asked, grabbing the rail of the stairs as she panted. "What is it that you're going to show me?"

Percy grinned to himself and led the way. "It's something that you wanted to see since you were a kid. Come on," he skirted upwards the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

"We're almost there."

* * *

**A/N: Please review!**


	18. Starlit Wonder

**A/N: H****ere is chapter eighteen. It has fluff but I personally think this is not one of my bests. That is why I'm angry with myself.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 – for the amazing beta. How come you're still not angry at me for hoarding your time? I'm always hesitant in sending you docx because I always imagine you muttering rants inside your head like, "Another one? Man, can't this girl get a hint that I'm busy at the moment? I have a life outside of fanfiction, you know. What a sociopathic bitch, $#%%*^&!". I'm so sorry for everything. And thank you for everything.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts And Pills**

Chapter 18: Starlit Wonder

"Wow," was Annabeth's only brilliant answer when she stared at the spectacle above her, jerking her head in an uncomfortable forty-five degree angle. Never in her seventeen years on earth had she witnessed something so naturally amazing that it made her feel so insignificant.

"I know you've never seen a meteor shower for yourself," Percy grinned at the look of amazement in her face. Just seeing her eyes shining with awe made Percy feel accomplished. He knew that it was rare for Annabeth to be like that.

He sat back and laid his head flat on the dusty cement, patting the empty space beside him. Annabeth gave him a bemused look before lying down the ground.

"Are we going to get in trouble by being on the rooftop in the middle of the night?" she asked.

Percy cracked another smile. "You should stop thinking about things like that, Annabeth. You've got to learn to be spontaneous. You know, live your life."

"We are in a mental health facility," Annabeth pointed out, frowning. "We can't afford to be 'spontaneous'."

Percy laughed lightly and continued to stare at the flashes of light shooting across the night sky.

Annabeth turned to him, confused. "Why are you so… cheerful? Did something happen today or what?"

It took a moment for Percy to answer. "Just look at the sky, Annabeth. It won't last forever. I don't want you missing a single moment."

Annabeth pursed her lips and gazed at the direction Percy was pointing.

It was breathtaking. There wasn't anything that obstructed the view. No moon, no immense light. Just the meteorites shooting from outer space, the fiery glare of white-hot flames on their tails, the stars twinkling faintly in the background. The cold air wafted on her face. She breathed in contentment.

"Are you making a wish?" Percy muttered, closing his eyes.

"No. Should I be?"

He chuckled. "For once, you're sounding like an ignorant boob."

Annabeth rolled her eyes and held the retort that threatened to slip from her tongue. She was too much in a good mood for Percy to ruin it.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she managed to say.

He didn't say anything, fixated at the meteor shower.

"What? You don't agree?"

He shot a glance at her, smirking. "I agree. It is beautiful. But not the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"So what is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

He just smiled enigmatically. "Oh, I think you know."

She huffed internally. She didn't know why he was suddenly getting this mysterious streak, but she decided to brush it off. Percy Jackson had the tendency to be bipolar sometimes.

The number of blazing meteorites gradually decreased. They did not tear their gaze from the sky. They did not utter a single word for a few minutes, both comfortable with each other's silence and an unknown bird's sweet chirping.

A thought spiked Annabeth's interest. "How did you know?"

"Well, there was one time that you told me that you've never seen a meteor falling out of the sky. And you always question why meteor showers usually happen during romantic scenes in cheesy movies and chick lit, which is too conventional to happen in real life – "

"No," she said. "I mean, how did you know that there would be meteor showers tonight?"

"I was getting to that." He pulled out a crumpled cut-out from his pocket. He handed the grey sheet to her.

"It was in the headlines yesterday morning. The eastern part of U.S. can get a clear view of the shower, unless Mother Nature decides to mess up the weather tonight. Since Riverdale is pretty much excluded from any 'urban disturbances' – which also means light pollution – I thought we could get a decent view here on the rooftop. And well, since you've never seen a shower before, I thought that maybe I should take you with me."

Annabeth just stared blankly ahead.

She was touched at how Percy had given much thought about this. It was the nicest gesture anyone had ever done to her.

Without thinking, a tear escaped from her eyes and rolled down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away, embarrassed. It wasn't like her to get so emotional, and she began to feel frustrated with herself. She sniffled loudly, causing Percy to turn to her.

His eyebrows knotted in confusion, and Annabeth, cheeks aflame, closed her eyes and tried to dab every wet tear that slid from her eyelashes. She stayed silent, fearing that Percy would laugh at how sentimental she had been acting.

But Percy did not question her breakdown. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah," she blushed, taking deep breaths to control herself. "I love it. Thank you."

He gave her terse nod in reply.

They just stared at the sky again, the meteorites decreased from eight, to seven, to four, to two, to none.

"It stopped," Percy said, breaking the silence.

"Well, it doesn't last forever, right?" she said.

"I wonder if it hit something here in New Jersey."

"It couldn't have," Annabeth responded. "The friction caused by the atmosphere made the meteors burn up, degrading it into tiny pieces until it wouldn't do any harm on the planet at all. I don't think those chunks of rocks are big enough to make it through the atmosphere in one piece. Besides, the meteorites' trajectory is way too up west, so it won't hit anything here in New Jersey. "

Percy paused for a while. "You know, I'm kind of amazed at how you always do that."

"Do what?"

"Know facts. Outsmart almost every person I know. Surprise me with your above-average intellect. It doesn't surprise me now, though. And yeah, that smugness of yours is pretty much one of your outstanding qualities."

"Why, thank you."

He whistled. "You're not even going to deny that you're smug?"

"Nope," Annabeth popped her lips.

Percy grinned. "Finally! You've accepted the truth. So people call you smug, huh?"

"They say it every day," she smiled. "And by they, I mean you."

They both laughed.

"What was your first impression of me when I came to your table?" she asked.

Percy mused about it for a while, thinking back on that day where Annabeth first glared at him. "I wasn't paying much attention to you back then. No offense. I was… suffering that day. I had a lot of things on my mind."

"Yeah. You were kind of annoying back then. You still are, no offense."

He let out a snicker. "Anyways, I did think you were a typical California girl with the attitude. I was right about you being from California, but wrong about the attitude, I suppose. And when I found out you were cutting yourself, it kind of tipped me off," he mumbled. "You didn't seem like the girl that finds pleasure in cutting herself. But… when was I ever right about you? Totally gave up on trying to figure you out on my own."

"To think about it, I haven't cut myself for a long time. It's been months," Annabeth said, finding the cold gravel beneath her oddly comforting.

"I haven't been taking a whiff of crack for months, either," Percy agreed, the air sweeping his hair away from his eyes. " And I haven't had a real haircut for ages, too."

Annabeth's gaze went up to his hair. "Oh yeah. Your hair's always a mess. There's a thing called a comb, you know. It keeps your hair from standing in different directions."

Percy scowled. "Believe me. I'll try to tame it with this comb thing for the rest of my miserable life. I even tried some hair gel to keep some of it down, but the corners went up sideways like I have horns – "

Annabeth muffled a chuckle. "I would love to see that someday."

"But none of it works, you know what I mean. I'm stuck in a roulette of friggin' bad hair days. Even Silena gave up on me."

Her gaze went upwards to observe his hair, looking explicitly black in the dark. There was no moon tonight, only the faint twinkle of stars provided the light. "I think your hair suits you just fine. Honest," she added when Percy looked at her doubtfully.

Then her gaze went spiraling downwards to his eyes. Even with the lack of light, Percy's eyes were shining. They gave each other a lingering looks until Percy said, "What about you?"

Annabeth blinked. "What?"

"What was your first impression of me?"

"Oh," she looked away, knowing she wouldn't be capable of making any coherent thoughts and answers with him staring at her like that. She cleared her throat. "Like I told you. I thought you were annoying and sardonic."

"You have good judgment," he said.

"Usually," she grinned. "But I never thought you could be… you know."

Percy cocked an eyebrow.

"I didn't know you could be sensitive," she continued in a small voice.

Percy's cheeks colored. "Sensitive?"

She nodded imperceptibly. "You were there for me when Cleverlyn died. You didn't get mad or disgusted with me when you found out about my mom. You were there along with Thalia and Nico to hold Rachel's hand while I cowered in my room. You held my hand when I wanted to cut myself. You held my hand whenever I was scared or angry or happy…," and then she chuckled, trying to alleviate the tension that cackled in the air. "You should have seen the look on your face when you tried to stop me from plunging a fork into Drew's chest."

Percy's throat bobbed, rebelling against him as he tried to come up with a response. He should have been thanking her or saying some ridiculous comment or laugh with her. Instead, his throat felt dry, his tongue offset him, silent at standstill.

A sudden flicker of light passed across the sky, illuminating Annabeth's face for just a moment. But that moment was enough to make Percy's heart ache.

He stared into her gray eyes with such intensity, Annabeth's face turned beet red. She was thankful that it was probably too dark for Percy to see, but her thoughts went frantic when she realized Percy was closing in the distance between them.

Her breathing went shallow. "Percy – "

She didn't ask him to stop, so Percy leaned closer. Her breath washed over him, warm and cool at the same time. He closed his eyes.

Meanwhile, Annabeth's heart thudded faster and her stomach did a humiliating flip when she realized what would happen next. He was going to kiss her. She bit her lip and her brain blacked out. She couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. She closed her eyes.

They were going to do this.

Percy put his forehead on hers. His heart started pounding very loudly, blood singing in his ears. With every bit of nerve left, he took her hand.

He smiled serenely. "Those rocks are definitely not the most beautiful I've ever seen."

* * *

**A/N: ****Thank you very much for your support. I'm running low in good PJO fics so if you want me to read your stories (and I'll review if I have time) just add it in your reviews or personally PM me. Thank you! Please review! Flames are very much accepted.**


	19. Paradox And Anomalies

**A/N:As you can see, I've taken the liberty of editing the past chapters for obvious reasons – I really can't believe I wrote all of that rubbish – and it made me feel accomplished. Well, a little. I wonder when would I really learn from my mistakes. Probably around the time Snow White would sue Steve Jobs for intellectual theft. Maybe around the time Starbucks would sell Snookies Cookies in front of my house. Or maybe around the time when Donald Trump would conquer Martians and force them to buy condos. Yeah. Maybe.**

**Enjoy!**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 – for the always wonderful beta. I was lazing around our rooftop when I jumped out from my skin after my mobile phone rang, telling me I had an docx delicery from you (I wasn't suicidal. Just hoping for inspiration to hijack me). It almost killed me when you sent back the docx, literally and figuratively. Thank you so much for everything!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 19: Paradox and Anomalies

~0~

_We didn't kiss._

Those words rang inside Annabeth's head and petulantly disturbed her for the past two weeks. The occasional thought bypassed on her brain, and she hated herself even more when she grudgingly sighed and gritted her teeth because of this ridiculous fact.

They didn't kiss.

First, the guy leaned in and brought her closer and then he chickened out and left her at the sidelines. How could Annabeth possibly interpret that? How the male mind works can sometimes be an enigma and well, Annabeth does have the tendency to get overworked and overanalyze such things. But come on. Percy's giving her mixed signals.

Annabeth fumed, pounding on her pillow. Embarrassment was one thing. Misinterpreting was another. For a moment, and not that she wanted to, she thought Percy liked her more than just a companion or a friend or somewhere between those lines. Apparently, she was mistaken.

Since then, Percy started to ignore her to the extent that he wouldn't even look at her. He would just mumble like an idiot when the time deemed it necessary for both of them to talk and it was driving Annabeth mad.

And to think she thought of him as sensitive.

Annabeth flattened the pillow underneath her head. She never thought things could get more complicated.

…0…

Percy sat idly on table three, eyeing his unappetizing breakfast. He swore that the food he was served became more unappealing day by day. He wondered who must be the newly hired cook –

"You asshole!" a female voice screeched. Almost everyone inside the diner whirled around to get a glimpse of an evidently angry punk girl with electric blue eyes. Behind her were a half-Italian boy, cringing uneasily and a smirking red-haired girl who was giving him a gleeful look.

Percy's eyebrows furrowed. He dumped his egg salad on his aluminum tray. "Mind telling me what I did?"

Instead of answering, Thalia dragged him out of the diner by the shirt. All eyes were on them as Thalia shoved him continually. With the back of his sneakers creaking, Percy yelled, "Would you please let go of me and tell me what's wrong?"

When they got far enough, Thalia pushed him to the back of a wall down the western hallway.

Nico gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, bro. I can't get a hold of her."

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Percy growled angrily, adjusting the stretched portion of his shirt.

Thalia glared at him. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Fooling around with Annabeth like that –"

"Fooling around with _who?_"

"Oh please, don't act like a freakin' saint, Jackson. You're such a bastard, you know that?"

"Uh, yeah," Percy said. "How about you start justifying that by telling me what the heck did I do?"

Rachel huffed loudly and held Thalia by the arm before answering, "Annabeth's been weird for twelve days. She wouldn't tell us what's wrong but apparently, it had something to do with you. Now would you please spare us from the upcoming interrogation of Dr. Fiske and just tell us what's wrong with you two?"

Percy laughed in spite. "Is that why you three packed together? Because Fiske asked you to confront me?"

"Yes and no," Nico answered. "We are here, partly because Desiree became a raving dictator and also, whether you believe it or not, we're worrying 'bout you guys. We half-expect you and Annabeth to spontaneously combust from all the tension that's going on."

Percy's eyes turned manically to them. Here he was, surrounded by his painstakingly 'concerned' friends with a cactus plant poking on his right side irritably. All because of a blonde who became miserable for twelve days after that… event on a mental hospital's rooftop. "There's nothing going on between the two of us. Come on, guys –"

"You like her!" Thalia bawled. "You're just… too much of a _schnitzel_ to tell her and now… you're pushing her away because you're too much of a coward to say anything! Or do anything!"

Percy returned her aggressive notion. "I like her, yes! But that's it! I don't – I can't afford to have anything with her, alright? Besides, she's not even showing any particular preference –"

"Ugh!" Rachel groaned, slapping her forehead. This was infuriating her with each passing second. Seriously, Percy couldn't take a hint even if it ran him over with a ten-wheeler truck. "Why are men so blind?" Rachel placed the full potency of her green eyes towards Percy. "She does! And you're just treating her like a doormat and grilling her –"

"Hey! You guys are the ones who're putting me in an awkward place."

It was Thalia's turn to reason with him. "You're confusing her, sending her the wrong kind of impression. Give her a break, Percy. She's never had a permanent relationship with anyone. She's beginning to doubt everything. Even our friendship to her. For once, be straightforward with Annabeth. I don't give a crap if you're PMS-ing or if you have Huntington's disease. "

"So what? You want me to barge into her room and tell her that I like her?" he spat. "Like that's going to solve anything – "

Percy's clamor was suddenly stopped short when a rock-hard fist swiftly met his right eye. He staggered at the sudden spike of pain and found a small portion of his skin clinging at the prickly cactus.

"Ooooh. That's gonna leave a mark," Nico said.

Percy turned to Thalia incredulously. "You punched me."

"Don't get me wrong," Thalia snarled. "I am perfectly in control of my temper. But that doesn't mean I won't hesitate in beating you up when you're acting like such an ass."

Percy sighed dejectedly, putting a hand to his eye. He'd better end this conversation now and scour the nurses for an ice pack. "Fine. You got me. What d'you want me to do?"

"Just tell her," Nico told him. "Like Thalia said. Be straightforward. "

"I can't do that," Percy exhaled loudly and, for the umpteenth time, he regretted that stunt he almost pulled back at the rooftop. He should have just controlled that other side of him and squashed his feelings instead of making it all difficult. "Something happened – I won't tell you, I'm sorry, but that's between us – and I don't know if everything will be alright again. Even if I did explain."

"Then try," Rachel said.

Not knowing what else to do, he kept silent. His options were narrowed down from eight to three. Ignoring the throbbing of his eye, he weighed about each option:

He could just continue his façade and pretend as if nothing major was happening, as if she didn't creep in his dreams every night that made him fervently thankful that no one could read his mind. He was still trying not to think of Annabeth that way any more than he could help it. Trying to be just a friend was about the limit that he could bear. To him, it was easier. Easy, because as he tried to be casually indifferent to her, Annabeth responded in the same manner. Easy, because he knew she never thought about him at all. Easy, because he knew that somehow, it wasn't hurting her. It was easier to pretend. But that's just it. Pretense. Nothing more.

The second option was more difficult and painful. Telling her and pursuing her – that was different. He understood Annabeth's rationality. They couldn't afford to have a romantic relationship with each other at the moment. They were at the process of healing, trying to be normal, but one wrong move such as letting his feelings get in the way would meddle with everything they worked hard for in months.

The third one was probably the second best, next to the first option. Tell her what he felt, but refrain from establishing anything. No commitments. Nada. But that would complicate things even more.

This was hard. Harder than before, as was the pattern.

He let out a deep breath when his mouth opened robotically. "Yeah. I'll try."

The surrounding three of them grinned, finally being relieved of their task with just one of them injured.

Thalia smiled at Percy, friendly again. She rubbed her knuckles. "Your skin's really soft for a guy. What kind of lotion do you use?"

~0~

Ananbeth's eyes narrowed as she took her seat. She shuffled uncomfortably. "Why are you here?"

Venus smirked. "Duty calls, dear. If you want to talk with Dr. Fiske, you have to deal with me, too. We're a package deal."

With no sense of courtesy in mind, Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Alright, Annabeth," Desiree tried to hide her smile. "I'm sure you know why you are called here."

"To be tortured?"

Venus laughed. "Charming lady. Now tell us. Something interesting going on between you and your friend?"

"Which one?" Annabeth said.

"Male, Caucasian, black hair, green eyes, adorable. Ring a bell?"

"Uh, no."

Desiree smiled. "What my fellow colleague meant to say was that she's reasonably interested in the prominence of er… emotional strain between you and Mr. Jackson. Care to explain what happened during that night on the rooftop?"

The color red stained Annabeth's cheeks. "H-how did you know about that?"

"I was the one who gave him those passes," Desiree said. "He needed my permission."

"Oh come on, honey, don't fill us up with all that suspense," Venus crossed her legs, looking excessively intrigued. "Tell us what happened."

Annabeth turned beet red when that night replayed again in her head. Should she tell them? Looking at the two gallingly intrusive psychologists sitting in front of her, she would tell them. Because she didn't have a choice.

Annabeth sighed. "He took me to see a meteor shower that night."

"Aww. Isn't that sweet?" Venus crooned. Young love was something the woman liked to hear about.

Desiree urged her to go on.

"We talked about… things, like we always do and –, " Annabeth paused, biting her lower lip.

"Ah. I see," Desiree nodded.

Annabeth looked down and shook her head. "We didn't do it. He sorta… stopped at the last minute."

In retrospect, Annabeth felt silly that she fussed about something stupid as that. What if they didn't kiss? It wasn't her fault, or his, or the whole universe's. He doesn't like her, obviously. And she, well, she should gladly return the favor.

"You are a _very_ peculiar case, Ms. Chase," Venus said.

Annabeth's eyes snapped back to her. "What do you mean?"

"You are, as what we call, an A-Z. You have a contradicting personality," Desiree explained. "Strong willed, but needy. You stop and analyze each person, but when people want to know you, too, you shut them out. You have the ability to read people, but you tend to become biased in some instances and most of the time, you can't quite see yourself very clearly. Proud and yet, unsure.

"Your friendship with Thalia, Nico, Luke and Rachel stems from the same point. Your friendship with Percy, however, stems from something different entirely. It used to be the same with the other four, but gradually, your outlook changed. You changed. And he changed."

Venus smiled heartily. "Sometimes we have to stop nitpicking about the future, hon. We are not restraining you from being emotionally engaged with Percy."

_Emotionally engaged._ Annabeth's cheeks flamed at that.

"Quite the opposite actually," she chuckled at her discomfort and continued. "We want you to connect with somebody. You're succeeding in that, Annabeth. But you're not letting yourself be. Don't. Don't be afraid to reach out, to connect, to trust, to love. Nothing is permanent, Annabeth. In that, I agree. But we can make things last longer."

"And although," Desiree beamed, giving Annabeth a meaningful look. "We are allowing you to have a relationship, or whatever it is that you would like to call, between Percy, we want you to take control. Make sure that everything happens in due time. If you have any doubts, don't be afraid to tell him. But don't let anything override reason."

Venus winked at her. "You're the smart one, Annabeth. You can handle him."

Amused at how feministic the conversation turned, Annabeth let out a breathy laugh.

…0…

When she saw him leaning near the door post of Room 385, Annabeth's emotions evolved from defensive to offensive as she thought of ways on how to confront him.

But then her gaze went up towards the ice pack and suddenly her former irritation paled against her curiosity. "What happened?" she asked.

Percy shrugged nonchalantly. "Thalia punched me."

Without thinking, Annabeth laughed. Yes. It wasn't unusual that Thalia would go around decking other people's faces from time to time. Then their eyes met, and Annabeth fell silent.

"I'm sorry," Percy started. His throat was itching for him to say this and it was a relief that he said the words out loud without his voice breaking. "It wasn't… premeditated."

Annabeth gave him a stiff nod.

"I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just – I should have asked you if you wanted to and… I couldn't –, "Percy let out a frustrated huff. He should have taken Nico's advice and wrote what he should say instead.

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know about what you… feel about me. I thought it was risky to tell you because maybe – maybe you don't feel anything at all. I'm a coward."

"Percy –"

"I didn't want you to get hurt. But in the end, I hurt both of us. And I'm sorry."

Annabeth scrambled for a response. She would forgive him, of course. She didn't have any reason to hold out on him anymore. "Percy, what are we doing? I mean, what's going on between us?"

"I don't know. Do we need a label or something?"

Annabeth managed a small smile. "Yeah. Sort of like that. I just wanted to know if… if what we're doing is right. If this is the right time or is it right if you have… something about me or –"

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait," Percy said. "You think I'm not supposed to like you?"

The incredulity in his tone was ominous that Annabeth thought that it would be better if she would tell him the truth. "This is what I see. You dated that Calypso girl because she was battered. Abused by her tyrant father. And you, well – you like me because I'm broken. Because I'm thoroughly depressed and… because I like skewering myself. I'm damaged, Percy. You tend to make relationships with those who are damaged somehow."

"And now you're questioning my taste in girls?"

Annabeth glowered at him.

Percy pinched the bridge of his nose before answering. "You're right. I like you because of that. But that's just one reason, Annabeth. I have a lot of reasons why. I can give you a list in scrupulous detail if that's what you want – "

"Why?"

He dropped the ice bag onto the floor. His right eyelid was halfway closed and a black-blue bruise was starting to appear beneath it but Annabeth could not help marveling at how beautiful his eyes were. The look he gave her made Annabeth catch her breath. Her heart continued to pump triple time as Percy's stomach made a pathetic backflip at the sight of her blush.

"I won't explain because I can't. I just… like you Annabeth. I like you enough for me to want us to be more than just friends," he gulped down, trying to muster the littlest bits of courage he had left. "I –"

"We can't, Percy," Annabeth said, stopping him. She wouldn't be able to think straight if he would say that 'L' word. She took in a deep breath before continuing. "I like you, too. And I hope you'll understand that why I don't want us to be together right now is because –"

"We're still crazy," he finished for her. He grinned. The disappointment to her refusal to make them an official couple was faint compared to the euphoria he was feeling. Annabeth had feelings for him, too. He knew it could be nothing in comparison to how he felt about her. But he remained sanguine that maybe, someday she'd feel strongly enough.

That thought kept him elated for a long time.

Annabeth gave him a sad smile. "You know, I can't understand why you're taking everything so lightly. Venus did say that you're kinda creepy. "

Percy snorted. "That woman's a bloodhound. It's like she can sniff love in the air or something, the way she's been tailing me around."

"Percy?"

"Hmm?"

She diverted her gaze away from him. "Do you think that… what's going on between us is… I don't know… love?"

Percy cheeks colored, stuttering in his haste. "Well, I – "

"No. It's okay. Don't answer that," she smiled sheepishly. "Just curious."

Percy exhaled and chuckled breathlessly. Whatever it was, whether it was love or an unusually strong infatuation, Percy was more than glad to settle down even with this unknown emotion tying them together. Whatever it was, he'd wait to understand.

"I don't know what's gonna happen next," she said. "What happens when you leave? Maybe you'll be running around with some hot girl loped around your arm."

He laughed. "So my fidelity is at stake?"

"Yeah," she croaked.

"You've got to give me some credit, Wise Girl. I doubt I'll be hitting on anyone besides you."

She rolled her gray eyes. "I'm not going to slip you a chance to hit on me."

"Sure, sure."

They both smiled like utter idiots, knowing that everything between them changed in that moment and was different from what they expected.

It was better.

In the back of their minds, they knew that things from now on would not always be a piece of cake, but they were more than ready to take a toll from anything. Together.

"Can I hug you?"

Annabeth cocked an eyebrow. "You're actually asking permission?"

"Should I not be asking?"

She just laughed at his demeanor and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Percy propped his chin on her shoulder, basking in her warmth. Warmth that sent him weak on the knees and kept him hanging onto this girl who tied him into knots.

And then a thought hit him and he smiled crookedly. He was feeling devilishly bold today.

"I'm still not your first boyfriend," Percy's grin grew wider. "But can I be your first kiss? It's okay if you don't want to."

"Of course I want to." They pulled each other in a kiss, chaste and sweet. Annabeth never imagined that her first kiss would be spent in a psychiatric hospital of all places and, even though she didn't feel any gut-busting fireworks, she felt some spark that maybe, there really was something there.

"Uh, Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you have cactus spines on your shirt?"

~0~

She sat on her bed, the mattress slightly sinking at her weight. She put her night light on. Unlike the others, Thalia shared no roommates due to her requests to bar anyone from messing with her and triggering her anger.

But tonight, she felt oddly calm. It was a bizarre feeling to feel. At least for her. She took out the letter that Desiree slipped to her this morning from her vest. She eyed the return address and then, all the serenity she felt was gone.

All she felt was dread.

The letter suddenly weighed like a ten-ton crane when she opened the envelope. She lifted it up and slowly read its contents…

Thalia felt like throwing up. She crumpled the letter and threw it against the wall.

_No_, she cried in her thoughts. _No_.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know. It was horrible.**

**Anyways, I do hope you still liked that chapter.**

**Thank you for the awesome reviews you've given me. I couldn't believe people would like my stuff, really. I'm trying my best to reply to you all (it's no picnic, guys). You guys are the best!**

**Please review!**

**P.S. – if you guys have time, please check out my other story****_The Quest For The Cestus Apple._****It's already finished (just 6 chaps) and if you have time, please check it out and review. It's the first chapter story that I ended, and I'm just excited like every, teenage author.**


	20. Shattered Goodbyes

**A/N: I am so happy with the sudden spike in feedbacks that I received from the previous chapters. Thank you for the support, guys! Thank you for adding me as your favorite author!**

**One author got confused (and rather disappointed) with the last chapter, and this is to all those who got confused, too.**

**Percy and Annabeth did confess their feelings to one another, but refrained from establishing anything due to the fact that they are currently residing in a mental hospital. I mean, would they still be together even when one of them leaves? Annabeth's mainly afraid that the 'highly intoxicating hospital air' is meddling with her perspective at some point, and she still doubts her feelings for him. So when in doubt, don't make a rash move. She learned that the hard way.**

**Still trying to fix the glitches in this story and wanting my previous yahoos to be completely eradicated.**

**This will not be the happiest chapter ever. Count on it.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 – for the always amazing beta. Without you, every single author that would read this story would flame me even more for lack of grammar skills. I owe you this story and my fanfiction writing career. I'll try my best not to be a pain in your behind by minimizing the number of errors.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 20: Shattered Goodbyes

~0~

"You were screwing with me!"

Venus only pursed her lips to hide the sly smile starting to form across her perfect face. It was about time someone figured it out, and surprise, surprise, it was little Miss Blondie who got the broken chains attached. "Try being specific, dear. You do know there are a lot of people I've been 'screwing' with. It's hard to keep a potential list sometimes."

"It was you," Annabeth said in a harsh whisper. "You were the one who roomed me with Cleverlyn. You were the one who sent my father the consent forms... You arranged the acquaintance party and you – you told Justin about my mom. And you were the one who gave Percy that newspaper headline about the meteor shower. You were the one who's behind all this!"

Annabeth's face was horror-stricken as Venus' face morphed into a too innocent expression. That lying, scheming, daft bimbo! Annabeth couldn't believe it had taken months before she finally figured it all out. That it took a long time for that final piece of the puzzle to fit. And it was too late for her to change anything. Her gray eyes were incredulous and filled with censure. "You set me up."

"Oh no, Annabeth," Venus said. "I certainly did not set you up –"

"You knew about everything!" Annabeth shrieked. She stood up from her seat. "You've listened to my recorded sessions with Desiree! Our group conversations! You weren't supposed to do that! They were private – "

"As a board certified psychiatrist, I have every right to do so," Venus interjected.

"Oh really? As if being a board certified psychiatrist doesn't have a code of ethics to go along with it. Or some stupid handbook for that matter," Annabeth spat.

"Are you threatening to sue me for my methods, Ms. Chase? Is this what it's all about?"

Annabeth let out a feral snarl. "I can sue you for malpractice, Venus. I can sue you for… for anything that violated under this goddamn constitution! Enough to revoke your bullshit board certified license – "

"Sit down, Ms. Chase."

"I would not be sitting down! I am not going to take orders from you!"

"You are my patient, Ms. Chase."

The whole room grew silent for a few seconds.

"W-what?"

Venus nodded. "You are _my_ patient. I have been assigned to you since day one. And you were an interesting case. Such a misunderstood creature."

She was still suspicious, not wanting to believe everything this lying woman was saying. Annabeth squinted her eyes. "Desiree never told me that."

"That's because I ordered her not to."

Annabeth flumped to the armrest of her seat, stuttering. "W-wait. N-no. Then why – "

"Desiree has signed an internship under my department. She's still new, but she's one of my best recruits. That's why I assigned her to look out after you and the rest of the patients of table three. You, Percy, Luke, Rachel, Thalia, Nico… you're all my patients," the shrink shrugged. "I just thought that it was time to give Dr. Fiske a dry course."

"So you see, Annabeth," Venus told her, gesturing to her sharply to sit. "I wasn't… 'screwing' with you. Well, actually I was. Every doctor in this hospital does that to his patients. It's our job. So drop the suing proposition. You and your father signed legitimate papers that would permit me to do whatever it is in my power to make you feel better."

Annabeth wasn't sure about the 'make you feel better' part. Now that she found out Venus was messing up her life and she didn't have anything to stop it, feeling better was out of the question. "This is all your doing?"

"Yes. Of course."

"But why did you do all this? Why don't you just… kick this whole thing up old school? Actually talk with your patients instead of letting someone do all the dirty work for you?"

Venus smiled wryly. "You have a lot to learn about people, Annabeth. I don't really need to see my patients, or talk about their hardships or whatever it is that molded them into who they are now. What's the use of it since we're going to mold you again in the first place? Besides, talking about the past is boring."

"People lie," Venus explained further. "Some are terrible liars. Though others – and I've found a lot of them here – are good at it. All for the sake of theatrics, my dear. Now, my plan was to let Dr. Fiske take the first front line, and then give me a detailed status report regarding you six. That was a full-proof plan on not getting you to lie to me, or stretch the truth even just for a tiny bit. I got your whole stories, got someone to do all the boring, household work for me, and made you people get better. Simple as that."

Annabeth shook her blond head. It all made sense now, but still…

"You were right about the things you've mentioned before; I did all that. Well, everything besides the party. We have annual winter acquaintance parties. I just made sure you would be prompted to bring dates," Venus chuckled.

Annabeth shook her head again. She bit her lower lip and flushed, asking out loud what she'd been asking herself for months… "Why Percy?"

Venus laughed a happy laugh. _Teenagers,_she thought fondly. "I thought you've already figured it out! I mean, seriously, dear. You and Percy make such a wonderful pair! Your strengths. Your weaknesses. Your histories. They complement each other so well that I can't let the whole thing pass. Without the other one to support the other, everything would collapse."

"But can't you see that all of this is a mistake?" Annabeth cried persistently. Seriously, was she the only one who's seeing that this was wrong? "We almost always don't agree with each other. We have nothing in common!"

Venus' snorted loudly. "Common! Bah! Common is boring! Who cares about you darlings liking the same things or being in the same page? Having people liking the same things is way too… common. What you and Percy have with each other is uncommon. Unique."

Annabeth crinkled her nose. "He's too… not my type."

"But you fell for him, anyway," Venus quipped, smiling. "That's the magic of it, Annabeth. Percy Jackson is everything you've never expected, but you still love him."

"You think what we have with each other is _love_?" Annabeth's voice was a borderline from rude to hysterical. "How am I supposed to believe that? With you manipulating everything between us, how am I supposed to think everything is true? This isn't fate or destiny. This isn't about God wanting us to be together, or anything above the metaphysical. It's you all along!"

Venus sighed and adjusted her white pea coat with a swift turn of her hand. She eyed Annabeth, a serious look regarding her face. She placed her fingers to her lips before explaining again. "I made Desiree and the rest bring you two closer. I urged Percy to ask you out to the party. I slipped him that newspaper clip about the meteor shower. Yes, I was the one who did all that. But did you think I forced them all to do it? Desiree would have chosen to disregard my request. Percy would have asked any girl besides you. Percy would have just thrown the newspaper away or maybe watched the meteor shower for himself. Desiree would have denied his permission for two overnight passes. Consider, Annabeth, that all of them had a choice. It just happened that everything went to my favor.

"And now, you stopped cutting yourself. Percy stopped drugging himself. Luke got over his shortcomings and is happily gone, Thalia's getting a hold of herself, Nico's starting to 'step out from the dark', Rachel's starting to forgive herself and her family," Venus smiled again, revealing a perfect set of pearly whites.

Her blue eyes were twinkling with delight. "Love is fate. It's the most powerful thing in the world. It can change us when it wants to." And Venus hoped that Annabeth would keep that in mind.

~0~

She closed the door behind her. Whirling around, Annabeth's heart crept to her throat and she sighed heavily. "What are you guys doing here?" she asked, letting out heavy breaths.

"Waiting for you," Percy answered. "And what are you doing at Venus' office?"

"We were having a… discussion."

"A very loud discussion," Rachel said.

Nico stepped up. "We need to talk to you, Annabeth. Right now. We need your help."

"Help?" Annabeth said. "Help for what?"

Nico shifted from foot to foot. "We can't find Thalia."

~0~

"What do you mean she just disappeared?" Annabeth asked disbelievingly, her flats sliding across the slippery floor. The four teenagers rushed together, crossing the threshold from B59 East to C16.

"We don't know where she's gone off to," Rachel implored, her fiery red hair flying around the air. She swung open the pale door of Thalia's room, finding all four corners empty of the girl in question. "We asked Silena and Cameron. They haven't seen her since yesterday. I even asked Drew – I don't know, Annabeth. She's gone."

"No. She can't be gone," Nico said. "We should have known if she snuck out –"

"She couldn't," Percy replied. "She wouldn't. Thalia's not that insensible enough to run off on her own."

"Did you ask Desiree?" Annabeth questioned.

The three shook their heads as they snooped around Thalia's quarters. Annabeth mentally cursed inside her head. She should have asked Venus about Thalia's whereabouts – she would have known. Thalia was her patient. But she couldn't have foreseen this happening. Where the heck was she?

Percy went straight to the faded sheets of the bed. He edged towards the wooden posts, his hands flying towards the dark curtains. The momentary blast of sunlight blinded Nico and he shook the dizziness that loomed in his head. Rachel fiddled with the cabinets stashed at the corner.

"Her clothes are gone!" Rachel hollered urgently. Annabeth, Nico and Percy all rushed toward her side. At their bemused expressions, Rachel rolled her green eyes. "What? You think I want to borrow her panties? Her clothes are gone! Not a single stitch in her dresser. Look, none of her stuff is here anymore."

Percy shook his head. "This doesn't make any sense –"

"You mean Thalia's gone?" Nico cried. "No! She can't do that!"

"She just didn't vanish into the thin air, Nico. There's only one explanation."

Annabeth nodded grimly. "She's been dispatched."

~0~

When Desiree delivered the news to them, all of their expressions varied from anger, disappointment, and anguish.

"Why didn't she want to tell us she was leaving this morning?" Nico exclaimed.

"Ms. Grace didn't want to ruin anything for you," Desiree explained. "She didn't want anyone to know, especially you four. It would be another tearjerker, she said. She didn't want you to see her leave the way Luke did."

Percy, Nico, Annabeth and Rachel all visibly flinched. The memory was still fresh to them.

"And she didn't want any of you to be miserable. Now that things are getting better and established to some of you." She gave Percy and Annabeth a lingering look.

"But she should have told us," Percy insisted. "We're her friends."

Desiree gave him an apologetic smile. "You are her friends. And you must give her the privacy she deserves. Thalia has been the most secluded person in your group. I doubt everyone knows the real story to why she's been sent here.

"Her father is a rich and powerful man. Her mother was an actress, a very beautiful one but irresponsible and was not ready to support a child. And I suppose you already know that. Thalia had a rough childhood, and she wasn't accepted as she deserved to be.

"She had numerous accounts of criminal activities. Sometimes, she was caught. Sometimes, she ended up in juvenile prisons. Below than average GPAs, received failing marks in her SATs. Surprisingly, she graduated from high school with a couple of probations, blemished school records and speeding tickets hovering around her back. When she was about to enter college, she was reinstated here under the request of the university, saying that they would accept her application this year if she would recuperate from her previous actions."

"So you send her off because she's better now?" Rachel asked.

"No," Desiree replied. "Her father did."

They all exchanged looks. None of them knew Thalia's father personally, but apparently from the way he abandoned her daughter, he wasn't much of a man of proper ideals.

She continued. "Thalia's mother died in a car crash a few months ago. Her father wanted Thalia back since no one would be able to take care of her – "

"But Thalia's nineteen," Annabeth cut in. "She's of legal age. She doesn't need any parental consent – "

"Due to her illness, Thalia is an unstable child," Desiree said. "She needs guidance and support, and that was what her father said he can offer. He filed a court order, saying he wanted her daughter back. Eventually, the university ordered Thalia's release."

Desiree peered back from her glasses. "She wanted you to see her off. But she never liked saying goodbye. The least all of you can do is to be happy for her that she's free to start a new life. Thalia did say she'd be coming back. Being here and meeting you all, that was the best thing that happened to her."

~0~

Annabeth's regular fro-yo did nothing to cheer her up tonight.

They were all avoiding staring at the empty seat beside Rachel, no one daring to lift an eye and stutter another embarrassing excuse for some gaffe. Tonight, no one made an effort to pull off an amazing stunt or crack a joke. Tonight, no one was laughing.

First, it was Luke.

And now, it was Thalia.

In retrospect, Annabeth couldn't believe that she used to be anxious in getting out of this place. Anxious for people to leave her alone. Now, all she felt was fear. Fearing that anytime at all, she would have to leave everything and everyone behind.

That was the main reason why she never wanted to get attached to anyone at all. And she failed.

Nico was stabbing his minced lamb meat. Rachel was twirling her spoon in a salsa bowl. Percy was making irregular drum beats with his fingers.

All of their eyes met. They were all thinking of the same thing.

Percy held her hand and squeezed it slightly. He could see the underlying question brimming over Annabeth's gray eyes.

Who's going to be next?

* * *

**A/N: "True love". "Love is fate". I don't believe in those sayings, honestly. I just hate it when people around my age say their boyfriends and girlfriends are their true love… Call me bitter. I just hate it. I believe in love, yes. However, I don't believe that it can be true nowadays, or that two persons are really meant to be together by fate. And yet it's a powerful force that makes us do crazy things. But then again, I still don't believe that there's such a thing as****_true_****love. Love people experience today's being sloshed and jumbled with other emotions. And other emotions influence love. Hardly anyone's monogamous. Constant break ups, divorces, angry children, teens and adults…**

**True love doesn't exist anymore. Well, maybe it never really did.**

**I just added the "Love is fate" thing because that seemed like the words Venus would say.**

**Is there someone out there who disagrees with me about the trueness of love? Go ahead and tell me why. Opinions are highly valued.**

**So, who do you think would be leaving next? How soon?**

**Thank you so much to those who reviewed****_The Life After Death._****I teared up at what one reviewer said, which proves that all of your honest reviews matter to me. A lot.**

**Review please! Flames are very much welcomed and appreciated!**


	21. It All Ends

**A/N: Looks like I've been gone for more than a month. Sorry about that, guys.**

**Thanks to those who had sent me reviews regarding true love. I think I'm going through a personal crisis - the whole doubt-the-human-race-slash-misanthropist kind of crisis - and most of those who opposed almost got my former beliefs systematically dismantled. And after watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two and rereading the book for the first time around since I was ten, I began to wonder why I even doubted everyone. Why I even doubted myself.**

**Alright, alright. Too much drama.**

**Anyways, I'm very very happy to announce that this story, along with Bloody Perks and My December, has been officially nominated for a Verita Award. Damn my ignorance - been here for eight months and I've only discovered the Veritas just now. Thank you for nominating and still having faith in me. Win or lose, I'll try harder on making my very first chapter fic as brilliant as my ability can permit.**

**Moment of truth. I feel really cheap snagging HP 7.2's movie tagline, but this chapter is dedicated to HP. So sad my childhood is ending.**

**Special thanks to:**

**storyteller1425 - for being my awesome(!) beta reader who stuck by me always. I know you're seriously sick of me posting your name and tagging you with the words _awesome beta reader_, but you really are, and I'd be lying or card-stacking if I wouldn't say so. I hope you're having a heck of a great time for your summer vacation.**

**BeautifulEscapades18 - for thinking up of a squeeze-in scene for this chapter. Thank you very much for supplying a muse.**

**Vans321 - who said that he/she nominated this story for a Verita. Thanks so much, Vans!**

* * *

**Of Cuts and Pills**

Chapter 21: It All Ends

Rain started falling heavily that day.

Annabeth stared at the smoky glass of her windows. She watched as the drops of water began to fall heavier and heavier, and as the mist began to fog up the view below. She licked her dry, chapped lips and stared into nothing again.

It had been seven months since Luke and Will left. It had been five months since the meteor shower. It had been five months since Thalia left. It had been four months since the Dare family visited Rachel. It had been three months since letters from Annabeth's family stopped coming. It had been three months since Nico last wore dark clothes. It had been three months since Silena, Charles, Clarisse and Cameron left.

It had been twenty-three hours since Percy left.

She dared glance up at the wall clock. Twenty-three hours and thirty-five minutes since Percy left.

Annabeth continued to huddle against the navy blue jacket around her.

~0~

_"You're musical."_

_Annabeth laughed at Percy's tone. "You sound surprised. Like you haven't heard me playing before."_

_Percy shook his head and watched again, his eyes trailing slightly at how Annabeth's long fingers brushed the piano keys. "Yeah, I know. It's just that – it's just that every time you play, I feel like I'm just hearing your music for the first time."_

_The music suddenly stopped._

_"Was there something I said?" Percy asked, nervous._

_"No," Annabeth said. She slowly slid her fingers to her lap. She gazed at the upright for two and a half seconds, and then looked at Percy, her eyes rimmed with red. "You're leaving."_

_Percy's throat bobbed and stiffened. He clamped his lips and nodded, replying a short "Yes" to her._

_"When?" Annabeth asked._

_It took a minute before Percy answered. "In a week."_

_"July 18th. Exactly a month before your birthday?"_

_"Yeah. It's in the agreement. I'll be turning eighteen. I'm not supposed to be in here when I turn eighteen, unless I'm Thalia's case. Or Silena's or Beckendorf's or Luke's."_

_"I miss them, Percy."_

_Percy nodded, frowning. "Yeah. I miss them, too."_

_"I'll miss you."_

_Percy's arm snaked around Annabeth's waist, and he kissed her lightly on her hair. "I'll miss you more, Annabeth. But I'll be back before you even know it."_

_"We've only got a few days left," Annabeth mumbled. "Don't you think it's not fair that we only had a few months together, and we spent the most of it not particularly liking each other?"_

_She felt Percy's chest rumble with laughter at her remark. "You got me there, Wise Girl. But the last few months were the best I've ever had for a long time, even if we did spend it as an old, arguing couple."_

_"You're just saying that."_

_Percy chuckled again. "Oh, right. You're not much of a girl who takes flattery too well." He took her hand in his._

_Annabeth stared into his green eyes. She remembered the first time she saw through Percy's eyes. Before, they were depthless and scornful – a reflection of a man who hated the world. She remembered how he used to sneak in bathrooms and smoked pot he smuggled in before, how he refused to do any of Desiree's bidding, how he regarded life as nothing but an endless void._

_Now, Percy's eyes had a little bit of everything: happiness, sadness, excitement, dismay. Joy. Love. He wasn't the angry, seventeen year old boy she used to sit with during dinner. And Annabeth finally understood why this would be the best time to finally send Percy to the outside world._

_Percy Jackson wasn't only existing anymore. He was finally living._

_"D'you want to learn?" Annabeth asked him out of the blue._

_"Learn what?" Percy said, whirling his head to face her._

_"How to play the piano," she pointed. Annabeth figured that, in the last seven days that they'd be staying together, she might as well teach him something to remember her by instead of giving him some lousy token. She had nothing to give at that moment._

_"Playing the piano's hard at first because you have to achieve the peak of your fingers' flexibility, but it'll be great once you get the hang of it. I know you'll be slow in the uptake – " Annabeth was much more comfortable in playfully insulting Percy than associating him with pet names. " – but it'll be fun."_

_Percy made a mock scowl. "You make it sound really fun." In just a few minutes, the rec room was full of resounding claps and curses and the free flowing music dangling around the air._

~0~

_Annabeth found him sitting near the edge of the rooftop a few days later._

_"They're all waiting for you, Percy."_

_Percy shook his head. He didn't want to see anyone, even Annabeth. "I'm not coming down. They'll survive without me."_

_"It's your own dispatchment party," Annabeth reasoned. "Your last day of reception is today – "_

_"Do you need to remind me of that again?"_

_The venom in his tone surprised her. Annabeth unconsciously put a hand to her hips. "Clearly something's going on. You're going to spill – you're not leaving this hospital deranged and angry the same way you came in."_

_Annoyed, he glared at her. "I'm not angry," Percy spat. Realizing he raised his voice against Annabeth, he sighed tiredly. "I'm just… worried."_

_"Worried? Worried about what?"_

_"Coming home," he answered bluntly._

_She silently glided next to the empty spot beside him and sat. She tested the air around them for a moment before saying, "You're worried about your mom? About college? About what other people might say about you?"_

_"Yeah." Percy nodded. Another spot-on assumption from Annabeth, he thought dryly. "It's not really much to fret over, now that you think about it. I'm just worried that, even though I feel okay now, maybe my life's beyond fixing. I don't know where I'm supposed to start again."_

_"There's always something to start. Try starting with yourself, then with your family… I guess everything just falls next. A penny will almost always land with the head down, Percy. You're gonna figure things out in the future. Just focus on today." Annabeth smiled wryly to herself. She used to worry about inconsequential things in her future before. How wonderful things worked out for her then._

_"Venus had a big, blue cake made for you downstairs," she urged. "There's also blue cupcakes, blue spaghetti, blue macaroons, blue cherrilaces – you name it. She knows you love blue food. Travis' and Connor's tongues turned blue around the time they started hitting the blue piña coladas."_

_Percy fell silent for a few seconds. "I can't believe I'm leaving already."_

_Annabeth felt like a stone suddenly pounded across her chest. She sighed internally. "Yeah. I can't believe it either."_

_"I was tempted not to tell you guys that I'm leaving, you know?" Percy flicked the stray leaf that landed on his thigh. He watched the yellow-green leaf sway along the wind. "As soon as I got the letter, I was debating with myself whether to tell you or not. If I didn't, I could have gone off clean or something. No knots. No one would be celebrating with a party for my leaving. If only I did what Thalia did a few months back."_

_"But you still told us."_

_"Yeah, I did. Well, maybe that's because I don't like leaving without saying a proper goodbye. I mean, I never gave you a proper 'hello' before."_

_Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Maybe?"_

_"I'm still not sure." Percy shrugged. "Sometimes, I'm wondering how other people did it. Came inside a psychiatric hospital then came out as good as new."_

_"We'll learn that trick, I guess," Annabeth uttered nonchalantly._

_They fell silent again. The weather turned surprisingly cool, even though the sun was at its highest. The birds were all out chirping and flying, squirrels jumping from tree to tree without much care in the world._

_Percy cracked a smile. "Tell me you'll miss me again," he nudged her, smirking._

_Annabeth tried not to be nonplussed at that. "Well, well. I see you still like being an arrogant ass."_

_"Well, it feels really, really good to know that at least someone will miss you when you're gone."_

_"And why think that that someone's gonna be me?"_

_Percy kissed her on the cheek and chuckled. "Why? Won't you miss me?"_

_"I will," Annabeth frowned sadly. The thought of him leaving grew more and more excruciating as they talk. "Don't you know that already? I thought I've made it pretty obvious."_

_"I do." She turned to him and saw that he wasn't smirking this time. He took her hands into his. "It's just nice when you say it out loud sometimes," he continued. "It makes me realize all of this – " he held up their linked hands " – is real."_

_Annabeth smiled at the fingers intertwined together. His hands felt rough and warm. His eyes were open and welcoming that it made her lips form a sad smile. The breeze started to pick up and Annabeth had to retie her loose ponytail._

_"You'll be seeing me off tomorrow." It wasn't a question._

_"Yeah," Annabeth quipped. "Of course I will."_

_"Don't cry, alright?" he requested._

_Annabeth jutted out her chin. She wasn't sure whether Percy was just making another dumb attempt to show off some bravado or whether he was genuinely asking something from her. "Why?" she questioned._

_"I don't want you to waste your tears over me," he replied._

_When the silence grew longer, Percy decided to explain further. "I just don't want you crying again like last time. It sucked. I don't like seeing you cry. Promise me you won't cry tomorrow."_

_"I promise," she said. Surely she wouldn't forsake him his last request._

_Percy held up his littlest right finger. "Pinky swear?"_

_Not realizing it, Annabeth laughed out loud at that. "You always manage to squeeze that in the most serious of times." She shook her head in amusement and held up her pinky and twirled it against his._

_"So, are you coming down? People are gonna think I'm hogging you from them. Get your butt off the floor, Jackson. It's time to party."_

~0~

_"It all ends here, then."_

_The new threesome all stood before the raven-haired boy, their faces pale and gaunt. None of them had a good night's sleep, apparently. Nico kept on staring at the floor, Rachel kept on sniffing uncontrollably under her Kleenex._

_"Uh… I hope you'll have a nice life, Perce," Nico said lamely. It might have sounded rather odd – and probably the worst thing to say at the moment – but all of them were just remotely focused on filling in the gaps between pauses._

_It was weird all of a sudden, how things started to change. The scene wasn't any much different from where Luke took his final step away from them, but they all felt like they got submerged in boiling lava, resurfaced, and then got splashed by tons and tons of icy cold water._

_Now, Rachel, Nico and Annabeth were the remaining occupants of table three. Now, the world suddenly shifted._

_"Thanks," Percy responded just as lamely. "Hope you will, too."_

_"You'd better not be coming back here more of a piece of shit than before," Rachel spoke up as she pocketed her unused Kleenex. "That'll just be a waste."_

_Percy grinned. "Have faith in me, Rachel. I'm gonna travel across the world and be named the next big thing – you guys wait and see. I'll send you guys some postcards while I'm at it."_

_Rachel poked her tongue out and laughed, her voice quivering. Percy hugged her tight and Rachel kissed him on the cheek._

_"We'll see you whenever?" Nico asked._

_"Of course. I'll be coming back ASAP," Percy chuckled. "And I'll tell your sister how you're doing."_

_"You won't be running off again, okay? Don't forget us."_

_"I won't."_

_They all looked at Annabeth, who didn't utter a single word ever since they gathered around the lobby. Her lips were set in a thin line, her eyes forlorn and tired. Percy took in the grayness of her eyes for what seemed like his last time…_

_Instinctively, Annabeth abruptly threw her arms around him. She hugged him fiercely, crushing him, taking his breath away. She wanted to hold on to him a little longer, not wanting him to abandon her like this…_

_"Don't go." Annabeth hugged him tighter, whispering to his ear. "Please… just don't go."_

_Percy's heart sank. It took a whole lot of him to say, "I'm sorry, Annabeth". He uttered more words back. He caressed her blond hair over and over again. It embarrassed them both – Rachel and Nico were still watching them. But the two got banished to the back of their mind's eye as Annabeth broke apart from him and started shaking hard._

_"I just don't want you to leave," Annabeth said as she held back a sob. She knew Percy would have to leave things behind at the door for him to set off, and she would let him, but she never felt how painful it would be until now. "I don't want you to."_

_"I'm sorry," she croaked. "I – I'm sorry."_

_"No. Don't be," Percy told her. He took off his jacket and gave it to her. "Take it. Hold on to it until I come back." He watched as she laced her arms around the sleeves of his jacket. His stomach lurched as soon as the guard signaled him his mom was here, as soon as he realized it was time for him to go…_

_He turned to the others. "Goodbye, guys."_

_Percy pressed his lips on Annabeth's lightly before finally leaving…_

_Before finally letting go._

~0~

There were loud knocks at the door.

"It's open," Annabeth called out.

The door swung open loudly, and in came Rachel Elizabeth Dare, her red hair tied up in a messy bun. Her eyes groped at the scene before her and then took a seat next to Annabeth. "Desiree's looking for you," she said.

Annabeth's eyes met with Rachel's. "Tell her I'm coming in a minute."

"You're not going to bail on her?"

"No."

Rachel pursed her lips. "You seem to be taking Percy's departure well."

Annabeth settled for a shrug.

"A little bit too well, if you ask me."

"What is it that you want, Rachel?" Annabeth sighed. Seriously, did Rachel want her to trash and mope around in a post-Percy depression? "There's nothing wrong. I'm doing fine."

"You seem like you're doing fine," Rachel told her. If there was anything she knew, it was that Annabeth was good at concealing what she felt.

"Is that not a good sign?" Annabeth questioned irritably.

"For you, it isn't. I know you, Annabeth. If there's anything you need, anyone you need to talk to, just give us a ring, me and Nico," the redhead said, making a telephone gesture with her fingers. "Remember: we're all in this together. Percy isn't the only one who can help you. We can, too. We're here."

She patted Annabeth's hand. "I'm glad to know that you're doing okay. Just come to us if you need anything. You have to let us help you sometimes. We care about you, Annabeth, alright? Don't forget that."

Annabeth nodded, her heart welling up with rare gratitude. Her eyes went misty as Rachel hugged her tight.

"We miss him, too," Rachel whispered. "He made it in good shape. Whatever path he's in right now, I'm sure he's doing fine."

"I know," Annabeth responded.

Rachel pulled away and gave Annabeth her winning smile. "I hope you guys will hook up after all this mess." The blonde laughed hard at that.

"See ya!" Rachel chirped as she closed the door behind her.

And then the whole room went silent.

Annabeth could still hear the pitter-patter of the morning rain around her, and she then gazed at the wall clock again.

Nine forty-eight.

The staff might have overdone fixing the centralized air-conditioner because the whole room grew chillier by the second. Annabeth found herself knitting the jacket closer to her as the temperature sank.

She heard a slight rustling of paper.

Knowing it came somewhere from her, she rummaged inside Percy's jacket and took out a crinkled piece of stationery from one of its pockets.

There it was, lying innocently on her palm, a letter addressed to her.

She opened it, curiosity getting the best of her. Her heart started pounding loudly, blood rising to her cheeks. She started reading, her free hand sinking at the mattress.

_Annabeth,_

_I'm sorry that I'm writing you a letter. I know I'm not good at it, and I'll probably get a sweeping snap at the face when we meet again, but I don't think I can tell you all I wanted to say without perpetually humiliating myself. Does that count as a valid excuse?_

_I've never entertained the thought that being in Riverdale would be life-changing. I thought that's just what everybody typically says – false propagandas of some sort. And I never thought I'd get to meet someone like you in this place. And I'm not perfect. I'm not the kind of guy that you'd like (you did say I wasn't your type, right?). I've believed in love changing people, but I never thought that it would apply to me. To us._

_Remember what I told you before? The time when I said I don't want you to cry when I leave? It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of request. I just blurted it all out. I didn't want you to waste tears on me – heck, no girl has ever cried over me. But if you would cry, then I guess you'll be the first._

_And seeing you cry, that would make it harder for me to leave. I hated to see you cry. And if you break down on the day I leave, I'm not sure if I might be able to get my foot out from the lobby._

_So don't. Don't cry, alright?_

_I want to say that you're the first girl I ever felt something for, but I won't lie. I'm sure I loved Calypso. Before and maybe even until now, I guess, even if she was one of the reasons I ended up in Riverdale. Maybe I should thank her. I wouldn't have met you if I never met her first._

_But whatever it is that I have – or had – with Calypso, it never compares to what I have with you now. I can't explain it, and I don't think this is the first time that words failed me._

_I'm sorry that I left you. I really truly am._

_I know I promised to be with you all the time since Spencer died. I know I shouldn't have done that – I always tend to make promises that I can't keep. But I just want you to know that I want to keep that promise, and I surely will be keeping that promise. Physically, I might not be there for you all the time. I'm sorry. I'll find you. I'll search for you again and again if I have to._

_But whenever you start to feel someone with you, someone beside you –_

_Just think of me._

_Because that someone will be me, loving you, wherever you are._

The letter stood crushed between her hands as she hugged it tightly across her chest. And so the trees outside started to rustle, the leaves started to fall off, the winds started to whisper at the glass, the heavens started to pour its tears as Annabeth slowly wept.

The clock suddenly stopped ticking.

It was ten o'clock.

It had been twenty-four hours since Percy left.

_Stay put, Wise Girl. I'll always be there. I promise._

_I love you._

_Percy_

* * *

**A/N: And everything went downhill from there.**

**Sorry guys. I'm really, really, really sorry. You know, you can always hate me after reading this - throw me the best flame you've got. Hope you still liked the content, though. It took me over a month to decide whether to post this or not, so I hope you'll still consider the time and effort I exerted for chapter twenty-one.**

**Poll is now officially closed. Here are the results:**

Percy and Annabeth - 93

Thalia and Nico - 27

Thalia and Luke - 24

Nico and Rachel - 23

Luke and Annabeth - 3

Rachel and Percy - 2

Thalia and Percy - 2

Rachel and Luke - 1

Nico and Annabeth - 1

Others - 2

**Thanks to all those who supported me all the way! I'm really lucky to have such readers. Review, please! CCs and flames are very much appreciated!**


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